Chrismassy Spirit?

This year's Christmas is rather different than the previous years.

1) It is much quieter... because many of our relatives or perhaps close friends are not around to spend Christmas together. As a result, many may feel alone this Christmas. This is because it is said that you have to spend Christmas with the people you love, with the people close to ya...

So, does that mean that Christmas is nuthin without people? It sure feels that way. But what bout our communion with our Heavenly Father? Instead of the communion with peeps in the world?


2) Also, I realize that Christmas is not about presents... I remembered those times I put so much effort in making my friends gifts (cookies, bookmarks...). This year, it just didn't really matter as much as it did. I didn't have much time or even put my mind in making prezzies.

Don't get me wrong, I do love making & giving out of joy in my heart. I like to see people smile because they are being thought of & appreciated. Just that, in this fast-pace society & busyness in the world, we tend to forget what we really want to do & achieve in life at times. I did, prepare a few prezzies for my leaders to appreciate them & a just few of my friends. *I can count them with my fingers* I remembered last time I make sooo many.. as if I am santa clause.


3) Unlike the song...

"Have yourself a merry little Christmas,
have a yuletide gay,
from now on, our troubles will be miles away..."

You realize that there are still people who struggle to live, that problems are still nearby though it's Christmas time... There are people who live elsewhere in the streets & have to struggle through the cold & windy night... Christians who knows God but feels as if He is just no where near... how bout those who doesn't know the true meaning of Christmas?

Then again, it's all in the person's perspective & view of life. Some people may live in such conditions and yet celebrate Christmas because they appreciate the little things in life... such as the air they breathe, a place to stay (though it may be on the streets...), food on the table for families or that they even have families at all & friends. We should all reflect back & be thankful for all the things that God has provided for us, inspite of the screw ups & the troubles that come our way. That makes our troubles less burdening because we focus more on being thankful from the bottom of our hearts as well as hope from God instead.

But, don't you agree it is sooo hard to put your mind to it? To think of positive thoughts when negative events strikes us?


4) Christmas is always focused on evangelistic events. Always focused on non-Christians. How bout us Christians? Did we forget the reason we celebrate Christmas? Is it all about the evangelism project & we forget the real reason ourselves? We can still celebrate without needing to make it as an evangelistive event. We still can enjoy ourselves with our fellow brothers & sisters & together share the spirit of Christmas. If we ourselves, can't enjoy Christmas or perhaps find it a burden because of the preparation we need to make and often fret that our friends can't make it for the party, how can others see the true Christmas in us? It's not wrong of course to invite non-Christians, of course. God will give oppurtunities & open doors. But, the spark of Christmas have to start from us.

That's what I learnt about Christmas this year.

We Are The Reason

As little children
We would dream of Christmas morn,
Of all the gifts & toys
We knew we'd find
But we never realized
A baby born one blessed night
Gave us the greatest gift of our lives

# We were the reason that He gave His life
We were the reason that He suffered & died
To the world that was lost He gave all He could give
To show us the reason to live.

As the years went by,
we learnt more about gifts
The giving of ourselves
And what that means
On a dark & coudy day
A man hung crying in the rain
Because of love, because of love.

Bridge: I've finally found the reason for living
It's in giving every part of my heart to Him
In all that I do, every word that I say
I'll be giving my all just for Him, for Him

2# We are the reason that He gave His life
We are the reason that He suffered & died
To the world that was lost
He gave all He could give
To show us the reason to live

He is my reason to live

Suicidal Rides!!!

20th Dec 2005
I went for a field trip with some of my college mates to GENTING HIGHLANDS! *Yahoooo!* At first I was really reluctant to go as one of my friend can't make it & I am not so keen on riding any of the rides there. It'll be a waste if I pay the money, go for it & get sick after going for the rides there *I get motion sickness very easily, you see*. I was so so so afraid. In my mindset, if that friend was there, at least he knows how to handle me when I am sick and my parents really trust him kinda thing. When my dad heard that he is not going & only 4 of us are going (2 guys & 2 gals), he sounded a bit worried. Well, that's because my dad don't really know them except my other girl friend who is going with me. Actually, I am really surprised that they allowed me to go to Genting with my friends, without any adult supervision, in the first place! Hehehahaha I'm actually old enough to go to places on my own with my friends!! Well, it's not like total freedom yet. But, soon I'll really be on my own. Though my friend couldn't make it cuz he had fever, I decided to go anyway since I've promised my friends that I'll make it... and I can't leave my poor girl friend alone. Anyway, there were 3 rides we sat for at the outdoor themepark & we also went for the indoor activities. Since, Dec is a peak season, there was a really LOOONNGG~ queue for each game. We have to wait at least 45 minutes to actually get to ride on it. We went for the "CORKSCREW" rollercoaster ride, "SPACE SHOT" & "SPACE ADVENTURE".

"CORKSCREW" It was my first time sitting on the rollercoaster with 360 degrees turn (TWICE!). I didn't think it was that bad. It looked pretty tame. Boy, I was wrong! It was fast & furious! The 360 degrees turnings weren't as fast as we thought it would be. It was much much scarier. My friends & I screamed out lungs out! Now, we know why other people scream so much when they go for these kinda rides. We thought they were either screaming for fun or the image of fear is all in the mind. I can still feel the adrenaline rush till this day >_<

"SPACE SHOT" This is a scary ride! I was so afraid to get on it. Before it even started, I was kicking my legs like a kid, who is so afraid & doesn't wanna be near this thing *well, I sat on it edi, so, I can't really escape*. I remember telling my friends, "sssccarrreeddddd laaaa~" & I was about to go nuts. When it started to move up... I was so afraid... It was sooo misty up there. "Don't look down" I reminded myself again & again. Well, I can't see anything anyway. I heard my friend said "Crap, it's so high!!!". I quickly closed my eyes when we reached the top... Then, unexpectedly, the machine pull us all the way dooooowwwnnnn. I SCREAAAMMMEDDD, but it only lasted a few seconds. My voice felt as if it was stuck in my throat and it wouldn't come out. I was so afraid. It stopped midway & slowly brought us down... When it was coming down, I opened my eyes... Then, i started being afraid again, shouting "it's sooo highhh!!" I felt as if I was a small kid about to cry! My friends had to cool me down & told me "Chill girl, we are reaching the ground already". I opened my eyes, there were tears collected near my eyes. I don't know whether to laugh or to cry!!! It wassss a scaaarry experienceee! My friends made sure that I was okie and then we had a good laugh about the ride. As you can guess, we laughed about my expression as well.

I told my friends "I am neverrr gonna sit all these rides again. Perhaps in 20 years later" =P

The 3rd ride was a family ride. We didn't know what this ride was about & I was hoping that it's not something scary or thrill rides because we just ate our lunch! * we don't want to waste our food & vomit it all out* Oh, did I tell you that it rained really heavily that afternoon in Genting? It wasss so so cold! It started right after the 2nd ride "Space shot". Anyway, the 3rd ride, space adventure was more of a kid's ride. Nothin much involved there.

After that, we went into Indoors to the First World Plaza. It was beautiful! Sorry, I don't have pics for this. We went for the "Haunted Adventure" & "Ripley's Believe It a Not" museum.
The 'Haunted Adventure' was pretty creepy. They have figurines and machine-like ghosts that scares the crap out of you. In addition to that, there are real people which play the rold as the ghosts, zombies and stuff like that. Trying to grab hold of ya. They make lotsa loud banging sounds as well. My friend & I were holding unto each other when we went through the "haunted house". We really wonder to ourselves... why are we so scared? After all, we know that none of this are real (as in it's figurines, actor & actresses). Plus, we are Christians. We know that evil spirits & all exist but we shouldn't be afraid because we have a God so BIG, by our side. This really taught me that, as humans, we really don't wanna toy with this spiritual beings & going through this, really made us feel extremely uncomfortable. I guess, people go for the thrills, ya know. It kept me thinking... how strong is my faith in God? That He will protect me & provide a way out, especially if I have to face these demons one day...
'Ripley's Believe It a Not' museum is soooo cool! We see the things that we have never seen before that actually exist in this world. Some of it are pretty wierd!!! Seriously. It's worth every penny... I've never been so amused in a museum before... reading the descriptions & looking intently at the objects as well as pictures on each walls in the museum. It is increadible! Almost out of the world! It made me realize how creative our God is, as He designed everything & everyone. Some are out of our own minds & imagination!

Well, that's it for today... That's my adventure in Genting Highlands Themepark! Before you go, I thought of showing you all this pic, we found in the museum! So cool, cute & amusing!

Happiness...

Is happiness just a feeling or can one choose to be happy?
Can it last or would you have to make it last yourself?

Is happiness more important than commitment?
What if one can't find happiness in a commitment made?

Will one have to sacrifice own happiness for a commitment?
Or will the sacrifice be worth it because there is a glimpse of hope that
one will be able to be happy later or even choose to be happy

Is happiness just an emotion...?
I guess it's quite subjective to many people.
Do share your opinions ^_^

The Day I was Born

12/12/1986 was the day I was born.

In this present time, 12/12/2005, 19 years old...

I was so happy that I got to celebrate my birthday here in M'sia with my family & friends. I've been celebrating my birthday overseas for the past 2 years or so, as my family & I usually travel in the month of December. I am overjoyed that I am given the oppurtunity to celebrate my special day here before I leave to Aussie to further my studies.

1. 9th Dec '05 - I was suppose to bring a cake to my ADP Ball to celebrate the rest of my friend's birthday as well, but it wasn't successful because I didn't have transport to get it & also I was rush to the ball. I was really surprised when later, my collegemates bought a cake from the hotel instead to celebrate our birthdays. It was pretty funny. They couldn't sing the birthday song for us, as there were performances on stage. So, quietly in our table, they lit the candle & asked us to make a wish, in the midst of the performances. So, 4 of us did & then we blew the lit candle ^_^ It was great I tell you, with the background music & celebration of our birthdays quietly without bothering anyone else in the ball.

2. 10th Dec '05 - I got to celebrate my birthday in Malacca with my fellow worshippers ^_^ Again, I am touched and they actually know my birthdate. Was so so happy! Should see my pictures =P They surprised us with the cake at night but ate the cake the next morning as we were too full from dinner. So, the next day only we cut the cake. Heheh delayed some time.

3. 11th Dec '05 - A close friend of mine came over to spend time with me before my birthday until my birthday itself. We didn't do anything much but I was really happy that someone is willing to spend the time with me. Well, I think we basically watched some Korean series the whole nite. Oh, I was asked to dance as well! It was pretty funny because we didn't know how to do it in the first place. I guess, you just go... left right, left right.. round 'n round. Correct ah?

4. 12th Dec '05 - I was quite sad at first because there weren't much plans for that day. Actually, there were, but it wasn't confirmed. So, I thought perhaps it was cancelled or something. The whole afternoon I was with my parents... It was a DRAGGY afternoon. They looked at cameras for hours & only started eating lunch late in the afternoon. After that my friend asked me out for dinner. It was a postponed dinner from the night before, but it was ok. So, a bunch of them took me out for dinner at 1Utama Shakeys!

6.30pm : There were about 8 of us. When I took out my wallet to offer to pay because it was my birthday, they shove it into my pocket again >_< face="trebuchet ms">The 5 of us were sitting in Shakeys, waiting for them & crapping away. Then, when i turned my head & looked towards the corridor. I saw those 3 fellas running across the corridor. Not once but TWICE! heahahah *caught them in action* There was a great scenary outside of the pizza place & so I went out there to chill for a while. Also, my friend & I crossed the bridge to the kid's playground section. I love that place. After a while, a few of them suddenly walked to the bridge & surprised me with a piece of banana chocolate cake. It was my favourite!!! Wah!!! ^_^ I was overjoyed... the funny part was, before I got to blow the candle out, it was light was already gone! *teehee*I wondered when I was breathing & sucking for oxygen, I also sucked in the flame. I had the cake for myself! heahahaha though it was just 1 piece, it was quite a lot for me to finish it on my own. I really had fun~!

11pm : Later, that night, I went out supper with another bunch of friends of mine - schoolmates from high school. They wanted to meet me for supper. I got to found out later that they actually wanted to surprise me during dinner but I chose to go out with this other group of friends of mine instead. The reason was because it was a postponed appointment. Since, I've already spent time with my close friend the night before, I thought perhaps, I'll spent time with my church mates instead for dinner. Anywayz, 4 of us just talked and ate supper. The whole surprising thing happened when I reached my friend's car. They took out thier water guns! I thought to myself "CRAP!" I totally forgotten our tradition & actually let my guard down! The tradition was that if it's my birthday or any of our friend's birthday, I'll always be shot with it.

My gosh, I was running around like a squirrel at the parking lot, screaming & hiding. Finally, locked myself in my friend's car. It didn't work, as he had the car keys! >_< Well, I got wet eventually. As you know the law of gravity, what comes up, have to come down. At least I got a free bathe... at the side of the road & my they washed my hair too! Exciting eh? =P Wonder what they put into the water... I hope it's not pee or anything like dat *my friend did go into the bathroom before that* YUCK! cuz my hair was itching a lot after that. Anyhow, I really enjoyed myself because this is how we bond together.. my friends & I!

5. 13th Dec '05 - I had dinner with my family! Japanese food! Yey! I hope we did more than just having dinner. Like watch movie together or play games, but my mum is pretty busy with her assignments lately. So, perhaps another time ;) I was suppose to go out with a friend to watch a movie but it was cancelled 'cuz I confirmed late & for some other reason. I guess, it just ended there. I didn't quite explain myself to my friend but I did apologize.

It was a great year of celebration ^_^ Though there were a few problems here & there.. it's okie. I am thankful & truly appreciate those who smsed me to wish me. Those who are close to me and those whom I haven't seen or heard from for months! Thank you all! =) Thanks for making this birthday happen for me! I really feel special & loved by you peeps.

Cuti-cuti Malaysia

I went for a retreat with my worship team last weekend to Malacca. I'm a Malaysian, yet it was my first time visiting the historical places. Malaysia started off in Malacca *correct rite?* =P As you can see, I can't even remember much on the history of M'sia. Terrible me...

Anywayz, we had loads of fun there. The only thing that I was worried was the food there. I had a bad experience in Malacca when I was younger because I had food alergy. As a result of that, I am extra careful when it comes to ordering food and eating them. Oh, do you know that Malacca's food is way cheaper than KL's food? We were so surprised with the price there. Unfortunately, one of our members actually commented too loudly, until the owner of the mamak stall heard it as well *haha* =P And so, my leader quickly rectify the situation by telling the owner that the price was REASONABLE (cheap sounds quite insulting, you see).

In this retreat I got to know my group of youth worship team well. We call ourselves FLARE by the way. I can tell you... they are super siao!!! *means crazy in S'porean term* They can be increadibly noisy and they are as playful as kids. SERIOUS! Oh, not to mention, they all LOVE food! heheheh =P yeah... I guess that's what you call a true Malaysian. It's great that I was able to see like the 'true' side of them and also, we had this session whereby, we shared our 'timeline' as in, sharing about our lives within that 19 years? (well for me la.. the rest may be longer cuz they are older) & what event played a significant roles in our lives. Listening to them telling their stories help us understand each other better as we know where the person come from & how he or she was brought up. We see how different people become who they are now because of experiences and the environment they were or are living in now.

By the way, we prepared our own breakfast. As some of you may know, I don't usually prepare my own food. I am learning now though.. and I gotta admit, though it's kinda tiresome, it is kinda fun as well.. especially when you have peeps doing it with ya. We created this sandwich.. which only cost us 17 bucks for the whole thing (inc. bread, butter, mayonise...) I don't have the pics now, but I'll put it on, when I get it from my fellowmates. It looks good and most importantly, taste good as well! Of course, the gals, won the breakfast/sandwich competition because the guys boasted too much for having more expenditure cost but forgotten to put their teriyaki chicken into the refrigerator!!! *hhahaha* But we were merciful enough to make sandwiches for them as well..

Well, yeah.. that's about it for the retreat. I just regret that I am not such a chatty person. I was most of the time quite quiet... but I really do enjoy and had fun myself being with them, observing their conduct & listening to their conversations and life stories. I had a great time there. Plus, they celebrated my birthday there! I am so so touched! ^_^

Will be back with more pics the next time =)

Breakaway

Just as the song... "So, I pray that I'll breakaway"...

Breakaway from the bondage of sin & addictions...
Breakaway from the all the noises of the world...
Breakaway from the whispers of temptations...
Breakaway from being consumed with myself...
Breakaway from learned helplessness...
Breakaway from the lazyness & over-dependence on others...

Breakaway to a place I'll find peace...
Breakaway to make a change somehow...
Breakaway & soar like an eagle...
Living in freedom & in boldness...
Breakaway to find a place I belong...

Word of Wisdom

"Everything rises & falls on leadership"
- John Maxwell

Wake up, Sleeping beauty...

This whole week, I've been strangely relaxed though my exam starts on Saturday!!! *ooohh the peace of God, must be upon me* I've been sleeping a lot and find it really hard to get up. The duration of my nap time was supposed to be only half an hour to an hour... I ended up sleeping for about 2-3 hours!!! I really wonder... is my body trying to catch up on my sleepless nights, weeks before that, or is my brain just mentally dead? meaning too lazy & tired to think or do anything... *wake up sleeping beauty, SMACK*

I wish that I can sleep forever and dream dreams that all seem so real & wonderful. In reality, life is just not that way. You get smacked by problem after problem, dwell upon issues over issues & finally ask yourself once again... "what is life really about? What is the most important thing about life that God wants us to know or learn? What is His core message?"

We have dreams which seem impossible to reach, identity crisis "who am I? What am I doing here? Is this me... like ME?", searching for love & acceptance everywhere, trying to be 'special' or different from the rest or perhaps, catching up with the flow.... We have so many things bombarded in our faces... and at times, all i wanna do is just be shut off from all these things & just sleep on it. The world will still go on rite? What difference will it make if I just sleep through it?

Will there be a difference? What does God have to say about it? God wants us to "WAKE UP!!!" look around, face it, don't shut off from it. You may not be of the world, but you are still in it. I'm not saying that sleeping is bad at all.. don't get me wrong. People have to rest... we have to rest spiritually and wait upon the Lord as well or we'll be totally burn out.. but don't hide in your comfort... "Look at things around you with MY perspective", says the Lord, perhaps then, things would be much different. Your heart goes out to others rather than being focused on yourself 'cuz life is not all bout me, me, me...

So, wake up from the things that you're doing, or have done that you know it's not favourable in His eyes. Wake up to see the difference between reality and fantasy. Wake up and look around... and see what is truly happening in this world, He has made. Wake up from dreams and make your dream come true instead. Wake up and see the ones who are in need more than you do. At last, wake up and see what God has prepared for ya...

"Written on My Heart"

Thinking how it might have been
If you had never walk into my life
I would have been nothing
Without You where would I be

Every moment used to feel
Like living through a cold and starless night
But everything's changing
Everything is feeling right

# You gave me Your love
You lifted me up
Now I'm looking at forever
When I never thought I'd ever see that far
You, You're in my soul
Wherever I go
Now I know right from the start
Your love was written on my heart

How could I have been so blind
When You are always here so near to me
And there is no other
Who knows me the way I feel you do

And You were waiting all the time
For me to come around & finally see
All the love I was missing
There You were right beside me, always beside me

*chorus*

You made is so easy
Your love brought out the best in me
You are my light & my truth
I've found my destiny in You

*chorus*

You're forever written in my heart...

by Plus One

It's done!

Finally, it's all done... finished.... *let go a big pphhhewwww*

Well, I am really glad that it is all over. Though so, I have to admit that I am quite dissapointed of myself for starting late in the first place. I gotta plan my time well. I really really don't want this to repeat again. I feel so burdened and tired mentally and emotionally... other words.. burnt out! It's terrible, I tell you. I felt really really low... yet, I gotta finish all of these assignments one shot because of my procastination. It really tore me into pieces. I can't do this any longer.

As I said before, I need to reevaluate my life. I wanna be a better person... for God (mainly for Him), for others and myself. There's a lot that needs fixing/cleaning up in my life. I know that I can't be perfect, but I know that can at least try my best to be the best I can be... and be what He wants me to be and has originally planned or made me to be... Also, having that spirit of excellence that God wants me to have in my life. Doesn't mean that I have to achieve the best in everything or be the best amongst everyone else... but rather... be the best that I can be, put in my best in everything I do & in my service to Him as well as reaching the best that He has in mind for me.

I know that I can't avoid mistakes in my life and I have done... too many of those. I also know there are many more that mistakes that I will make in future, but, I'm rest assured that it's okie.. As long as I am not ignorant and learn from them, I know that I am at the right track.

I just hope that I won't live a life of regrets... but rather a life worth living with joy & gratitude in my heart.

2 down, 1 more to go

Can't wait.. 1 passed up already today, another still have like 15% left, and the last one... I need approximately 6 hours to finish it... hhmm better give myself 9 hours.

*if you are still blur, i'm actually talking about assignments*

I have so much that I wanna express and blog about it... Till the next time! *can't wait =)*

Part 2- Three Things About Me

3 PHYSICAL things about the opposite sex that appeals to me:
i. Smile
ii. Eyes
iii. Hair

3 things about the CHARACTER of the person:
i. Committed to God
ii. Helpful with the people around
iii. Joyful

3 of my favourite HOBBIES:
i. Music!!! *listen, play piano, a bit of guitar, dance*
ii. Collecting bookmarks, encouraging notes (paste it into my album)
iii. Collect photos of my friends & I (albums)

3 things that I wanna do really badly RIGHT NOW:
i. Finish up my assignments (3 left)
ii. Makanz!!!! *hungry... puppy dog eyes o_o*
iii. Pack my table >_< *it's in a mess again*

3 CAREERS you've considered:
i. Kindergarten Teacher
ii. Dance choreographer *start a dance movement*
iii. Preacher

3 places I wanna go for VACATION:
i. Cherating *the beach there is the cleanest- water so clear*
ii. Japan *where I can see the diff colors of the leaves*
iii. Korea *Winter Sonata*

3 things I wanna do before I DIE:
i. Build a strong family of my own in Christ
ii. Be involved in a dance movement
iii. Perhaps, Thailand for mission trip
*most importantly do God's will in my life*

3 ways I am STEREOTYPICALLY a GIRL:
i. I look like one
ii. I act like one *don't underestimate me- I can be rough when I want to*
iii. I am one!!!!

3 groups of peeps I want them to do this QUIZ 'n paste it in their blog:
i. My CG peeps
ii. My College frenz
iii. Anyone who is reading this

Part 1- Three Things about Me

The things I do when I am taking a break from my assignments... *destress*
Do quizzes, and one of it is this!!! =P
Anyway, my dear friend wants me to do this... so here I go...
(I think I did something similar in my old blog)

3 NAMES I go by:
i. Lizzie/Liz
ii. Liza/Lisa
iii. Squirrel

3 SCREEN NAMES you have had:
i. Lisae
ii. Starlightliz
iii. Strawberry

3 PHYSICAL things I like about myself:
i. Eyes
ii. Finger 'n finger nails
iii. Hands

3 Physical things I DO NOT like about myself:
i. Legs
ii. Height
iii. Nose

3 things I am AFRAID of:
i. not being able to go to heaven
ii. Lizards *I don't know why!!! it's just slimy*
iii. Rats

3 things of my everyday ESSENTIAL:
i. Handphone
ii. Wallet
iii. Tissue

3 of my favourite BAND or music ARTIST:
i. Planet Shakers
ii. Jaci Valesquez (just only =P, still haven't checked out all her songs)
iii. BLUE
iv. Kenny G (I have to add this!)

3 of my favourite SONGS:
i. Imagine Me Without You by Jaci Valesquez
ii. Korean: Because I'm a Girl by KISS
iii. I will be Here by Steven Curtis Chapman

3 things I want in a RELATIONSHIP:
i. God at the centre of it
ii. Guidance
iii. Love & faith/trust

to be continued....

"Start A Family Young"

Heheh well the topic above, was my persuasive speech for today. I was suppose to present this speech in 3 and a half minute! No, the lecturer did not pick this topic for me. I picked the topic myself. How did I come up with it? I learnt it from Grace, 'kill two birds, with a stone' or something like that... My debate for Social Psyc paper was opposing the notion "Women should get married early to maximize child-bearing years". This time, for persuasive speech, I am supporting that notion.

So, about my speech... When I told them about the ideal age of starting a family, found on the online forum and what I think its ideal too, their jaw dropped... my answer: "Mid-20's". Mid-20's for women and for men, mid-20's - 30s... *did anyone's jaw here dropped? =P* I know some people, well, most people in this generation would disaprove. It seem so impossible to be able to support a family that age and probably the inidividual isn't mature enough. Well, of course it has it's advantages and disadvantages... That's where persuasion is important =P

Well, I strongly believe that parents age gap does play an important role in being able to connect with thier kids well. Maybe I should conduct such research to check. Anywayz, some may ask why do I believe in it strongly... Reason is, my parents are living proof of it. They got married and had me in their mid-20s. To be exact, the got married when they were 24 years old and had me when they were 27 years old... and my brother, 30 years old. Amazing, huh? ; )

I feel that I am able to have this connection with my parents now because the generation gap between us isn't too far apart. We have similar interest... I learnt to love jazz from my dad... My family learnt to use the computer through my mum (she's the comp expert in the house *hard to believe?* =P). We get to hang out a lot- watch Marvel movies are our favs, we play games- boardgames (scrabble), bowling, snooker, carom. Mum & I share clothes together.. well, now i hand-down my clothes to her la... I can't fit into her shoes- it's too small! >_<>

I'm not saying that if those with kids in their older age are unable to have this kind of connection with thier family. Perhaps, it seem harder for them to do so... Of course, there are other factors to how you are able to connect well with ur kids. I'm just saying that younger parents may have that kind of advantage. But of course, they themselves, must want to be involved in their children's life.

Wanna see one of my family pic?NZ pic about 2 years ago! Nice eh? I remembered that I was too scared to ride the horse myself. I needed someone else to pull and lead the horse for me. My parents and bro didn't need that! They controlled the horses themselves. So unfair!!! >_< Anywayz, I still had fun & the scenery there was beautiful- mountains high & low!

Reminded me of the song from Sister Act2- "ain't no mountains high enough, ain't no valleys low enough... nuthin can keep me... keep me from YOU" =P

Entertaining way of learning

It was rather interesting yesterday! ^_^ We needed to do 4 more quizzes for our Abnormal Psyc... and so, we did! Well, sort of... through playing charades and win/lose draw (pictionary) IN CLASS =P hehehe we did taboo before.. Let me remind you, this is part of our assessment... it's for 2 of our quizzes marks (10 marks)... Hehe but we didn't really score well la... However, I have to admit, it is really fun and exciting way to learn. I know perhaps they have more of these kinds of fun activities in US primary or high schools but never before in Malaysia!!! We intergrated boardgames with lessons... in University College!!! hehehe =P *i am still trying to digest that fact*

My lecturer, classmates and I had a great time guessing what others tried to act/draw, laughing and enjoying ourselves with the pictures people in each team drew or act. Entertaining! Boy, I don't think that I can ever forget this 'class' experience. For those who wants to be a future teacher, this can be one of your ideas, ya know ; ) Don't just stick to the standard, rigid way of teaching. Think beyond the box.

I believe that if u teach ur students creatively, they are able to learn better. There are pros and cons of trying something new (con= Using students as guinea pigs =p *jk*) and using the usual, standard way... I guess, the best would be a combination of those two ^_^

This lecturer of mine is really really good. When she teaches, she explains and illustrate her points well. She doesn't go around the bush. Straight cut... not the type of lecturers that would copy their notes from the textbook or take textbook examples. Her examples are always related to life application. You don't even need to buy the textbook, if you attend her class!!! I really respect her! Everyone does. Don't be fooled by her size. She may be small in statue, but she's known for her tough personality. She induce fear in her students. She earns her respect. Stick by her rules or get eaten alive >_<>

She is also considerate enough to postpone our assignments because she knows that since some of her class students maybe presenting for Research Colloqioum last Saturday and all her students are compulsary to attend it, she gave us more time to finish up our assignments. She can be really really cute when she teach. I notice that she loves teaching... and whenever she doesn't seem to have the mood at the beginning of the class, towards the middle and end, you can see her enjoying herself as she teaches. Maybe I am wrong... but anyone else noticed that? *whoever who knows this lecturer of mine* Well, that's what I got from what I observed =P

I think that lecturer who enjoys his or her teaching work, and are are able to put up with brats like us are well-respected lecturers *salute*

Mercy Me

I realized that I have been blogging quite consistently here, compared to my old blog place. I am excited to blog more during the holidays! ^_^ I already have things in mind to share and talk about. I just hope I won't forget it all. One more week before my sem break, and then exams. Assignments, still have 4 left, but I am on it bit-by-bit. Quite happy that I eventually get off my lazy butt and started it!

Anywayz, on the topic today... mercy! I've been shown mercy by 2 of my lecturers! I've been really stressed trying to finish my assignments, one-by-one, bit-by-bit. Both of my lecturers are really really, so so, extremely kind and considerate enough to look beyond our circumstances and extended our assignments due dates!!!! ^_^ Thank God for them!!!

This reminded me of God's mercy upon my life... the second, third, forth, etc (the list never ends..) Well, basically the number of chances that He has given us to fix our mistakes in life. The number of times He forgave us for the things we have done that had hurt Him and that is so wrong in our lives, also disobeying Him. The times He accepted us back with open arms when we run away from His presence. We are showered by His mercy everyday... but yet do we realize or notice it?

Neverending assignments!

Most of my friends are having holidays!!! Why oh why is the semester so long!!! My gosh... I really need a break. Seriously! *feel like strangling someone or pulling my hair out* sigh... I only have this week & next week left. Though so, I have lotsa assignments to pass up. I so so DISLIKE assignments. But, I can't run away from it, can I? I can choose not to do it... heck, I can even choose not to study >_<>

Don't get me wrong. I love what I study... Pychology (my major), Communication papers & Art papers *music & drama* (my electives). The thing about me is, if I don't get it started, like really put my mind into it, to do the assignments or study, I would dread it. But if I am already in it, striving through and put my heart into it, I could have really enjoyed myself doing so. If it wasn't for the pressure & stress of all the lateness/last minute-ness (planning falacy- I have a terrible sense of allocated timing for planning). Lizzie, oh lizzie *smack myself*

2 more weeks, girl! "Hang in, there!" The weeks seem really long. Though I have 2 weeks of lessons in college left, the workload doesn't seem to have reduced much. It did reduce quite a bit la. THANK GOD! *close eyes & wish it all to go away* Hmmm... 2 more weeks! 2 more weeks! den another 2 weeks to end term! *breathe in.... and out* I can do this! Support me, yeah!!!

Can't stand myself! MakeOVER needed

I know, it has been a while since I've updated my blog. Assignments have been driving me nuts!!! *I wish I can be alergic to assignments as I am allergic to peanuts or groundnuts* I can't believe it's already November! Dear, oh dear, time sure passes by really fast. Next thing I know, I have grandkids running around me and jumping on my lap, asking me to tell them a story >_<>

I've been a zombie last few days trying to finish up my assignments. I am really surprised that I have not fall seriously ill yet. Usually, I am the weakest in my family, in term of health. This is a result of being overly active (always going out because of meetings, practices, etc etc..)- not enough rest for the body & my terrible lifestyle- sleeping extremely late, eating irregularly (sometimes eat too much & other times, skip meals), also not really responsible with my work- all the "last minutes" in the world! I guess that define my life. They say it's a typical student's life. I am surprised though, to find that many of my friends fall sick more often than I do, this year.

I realize that I can't live like any longer. It's ruining my life. I don't want to live a slacking life... known as the lazy, irresponsible girl, undependable person... Heck, my younger brother is more responsible & dependable than I am. I even get scolded by him often. Would you believe it if I told you that he taught me how to save money early this year? Yep, he did. How am I gonna do my best or put in my best if I live this way? How am I gonna live a life of virtue, aiming to live a life of excellence (the best that I can be), if I don't change my lifestyle? I am too comfortable with where I am... yet overly burdened with all these nonsense. *sheesh* and they say, the oldest in the family are usually the independant, responsible one. So, not!

Hmmm... I so want to have a 'makeover'. No, not the dressing. I think the way I dress is good enough (as long as I am comfortable - though my friends did say that I don't really have much fashion sense >_< & some of my clothes make me look aunty *hehehe* dat's kinda funny ^_^). No, not the make-up, makeover. Makes me all concious & I'm sure many would agree that natural beauty is the best ya! =P As much as I would love to highlight my hair purplish-red or staightened it, the cost will kill me. The "MAKEOVER" I am talking about is the way I carry myself... the way, I organize my thoughts, the way I live my life... My life needs straightening up. I so so so need discipline.

I realize now, why discipline is so important. Never quite understood why last time. I am always craving for freedom, for some reason. Not that I do not have it... I do, really.. but I wish that I could have more.. But I know if I got my hands with too much freedom, I'll go outta control. I can be a hyperly active and *WILD* kid, for those who really know me (I think I hear some of my friends snickering & laughing at me). I know quite well that I am capable of abusing my freedom. Now the phrase make more sense to me. With great power, comes great responsibility as well *Spidey's phrase* This includes the power of freedom. Seem contradicting, huh?

Yepz. I hope that I can start the makeover after my sem ends. Need some time to think about my life.. reflect on it.. I don't wanna regret during the last minute of my life, on my deathbed. I wanna look back and tell myself, tell God and the peeps aroud me, I lived a life that I can be proud of.

Happy Ever After

A girl who dreams for a prince that is able to sweep her off her feet & desire for an adventure of a lifetime together. A girl that finds security in her guy because her knight & shining armour is able to protect her & she is able to confide in him. A guy that makes her feel as if she is the most beautiful gal, not because she is beautiful compared to all the other gals around but because he set his eyes on her, only on her because he chose to.

These fairy tales brings warmth to my heart. A desire to be with a person... that loves me & I love him too. Often, when we watch this fairy tale on screen, we do not see the problems between the the couple... the disagreements, the "can't stand with each other's bad habit", the "i'm want to do my own thing" or "i'm can't always be with you" factor... heheh how ironic?

I've been swept off my feet many times, thought that the person is the ONE. Well, it's simply 'cause I fall in love easily *that's dangerous, don't ya think?* You see, movies they don't really talk about the importance of commitment. It's all about the 'head over heels' feeling. That's why LOVE seems so easy for everyone. They just gotta feel it, and *BOOM*, you're already there.

If feelings are not constant/steady, how is it that LOVE is erverlasting? What happens if there is no commitment? You move from one person to another & another & another... till you get tired of it? That's why break-up/divorce rates are so high. They didn't add in the element of commitment.

Some may say, if you don't have feelings for the person, why marry him? Let's look into arranged marriage. They still stick with each other thru thick & thin... and are able to learn to love one another that started out just from a commiment. They didn't start off with feelings. So, how did they do it?

What is LOVE? Of course, I don't deny that if you wanna have the goofy smile on ya, the butterflies in the stomach, the happy thoughts with ya partner, you'll need to feel for the other person-la. It is an important element to boost up our happiness, being with the person, the nice feeling. But do realize that it comes & go. Sometimes, for all you know, you are so fed up with the person.. you get bored of him & her. Hey! it happens, when you get to know a person your whole life. Go ahead & try it!

Also, the element of companionship. Knowing that you've been with the person so long... understanding the person enough... You don't have to say a word to be with the person. Being there with the person is already enough. Silence that states a thousand words (erm, does this make sense?) Yeah.. that satisfaction, knowing that he or she is there...

Hmmm.... Man, I hope that one day, I really understand what it meant to really LOVE someone. Knowing all this cognitively is harder than putting it into action... especially the commitment part. It's like... "do you, Lizzie Hie, take this person as your wedded husband, to love, to honor, to cherish now & evermore?" Of course, I would love to scream out "Yesssss!!!! I do!!!!!"... but thinking about being with the person 24/7 when you can't even stand the person at times now, unable to feel happy with the person at times & you don't understand anything about commitment... It freaks you out!!!

Anyway, I am 19 years old. Why do I need to be so desperately in love with someone in this age? Well, other than the pressures around me... and the subtle temptations whispering into my ears, saying "Liz, go now, before you lose your chance.. Why not have him now rather than have to wait?" Guess what? Love is a CHOICE. You choose to want to be with the person & love the person. That enhances the feelings, & it's the core of commitment & creates companionship with the person.

So, does it really matter if I have lost my chance? After all, it's a choice. You want to still love the person, even if you lose the person, or you wanna go on with your life, looking for other fishes in the sea? Of course, something would be pulling you back & it seems so so so hard to let go... but you gotta learn to put your foot down & make a choice.

I choice to love the person & to be loved by the person.

You still can have your fairy tale, by the way. It's just how you percieve your life with your partner. "Happy Ever After" does exist.. Even if you don't get the guy or girl of your dreams... or you stick to be single because your girl was married off to another... It still can happen to you.

Messiness

Aikksss! Messy-nya!!! I also sendiri cannot tahan my own messiness at times. It seem as if there was a mini tornado entered into my room & mess the whole place up (esp my study table & cupboard). So, it looks like my room was the victim of the Lizzie Tornado Disaster! I recieved a sweet written message from my mum last nite, posted on my room door. It stated "Liza, clean up your room! It's a mess!!! Mum"

Just a sneak peak of my table... I thought it was one of my best pics i took... Have anyone seen my class notes? I always rewrite my notes again.... Why? You'll see why...

Get what I mean?
See the BIG difference between these two?

Too bad, I don't have the pics of my clothes in my cupboard when it was messed up. Maybe can show it the next time... when it's messed up again. Of course, I hope that it won't happen, so that I won't need to pack it up again... Then again, packing up can be quite fun! ^_^ seriously!

The thing bout me is that... when I am messy, I am extremely messy! *If I really don't have the time, I really don't care!* However, when it's time for me to clear up my stuff, to clean up & to be neat, I can be really organized & neat. I am quite fussy about the arrangement of things, the position (at times), how it is compiled, where, etc etc. There are significant differences on why I arrange or pile up my things this way.. and not the other. It is as if there is a theme or a pattern - *I can be a potential serial killer* jk jk! =P

Well, it goes the same about our lives. We have messed up lives & so, we have to clean it up. However, at times, we don't wanna clean up & we love keeping it that way. Perhaps because we are used to it. It has been like that for years & no one actually knows about it, unless they come to visit your "room" (what I really meant here is our lives... if some of you are blur). Maybe, some things have some sentimental values in our lives. Some things are just hard to let go, but after a while we have to. Things on earth, does not last anyway... so, why are we holding to it so tightly? Some things are meant to be thrown away & somethings perhaps should be kept.

You know... if you don't clean your room, at times you may find cocroaches or lizards hiding under your stuff. Worst, if you have food, it'll grow moldy.. It'll attract bugs & slimy stuff. It's gonna make your things & room atmosphere worst than it is. Plus, as days go by, we'll keep piling more things on our table, on the floor, bed... & it'll be a whole lot messier than it was previosly. Get how it applies in our lives?

So, if you think that your life is in a mess, don't just sit there... move your butt & clean it up! Like cleaning your room. You need help, ask for help. I'm sure friends that are true to ya will be more than willing to help you out. All you got to do is ask for it... Always remember that after you have cleaned up your "room", it may get messy again BUT do not fret... take time to look into it & clean it up.

So, CLEAN UP YOUR ROOM! =P I know I have mine to take care of ;)

Assignments, examinations, studies... college/uni life!!!

I was really looking forward for the Raya holidays... I was hoping that I am able to hang out with some of my friends & perhaps, chill for that week. Boy, was I wrong... I don't have time for that at all. As a result of not starting my assignment from the beginning of the semester, I had to rush through my assignments. I have 3 assignments to be done...

1. My informative speech for Publis Speaking
2. Written term project on IBM
3. Debate against the topic entitled "Women marry early to maximize childbearing rate"

I haven't started on my speech at all yet (no idea what to talk about... any ideas, anyone?), the other 2 still on 'research' mode. All these assignments have to be handed in or presented right after my Raya hols. Wahhhhh!!! Now, I really prefer sitting for examinations than doing my projects 'cause at least in exams, you know what to expect & you know what to do. It's very hard for me to start on assignments because I don't really know how to start or execute it in the first place. It's very ambiguous.

I just realize something... I don't like the idea of studying, but I like studying. You get what I mean? In other words, if I have to study & I am forced to study, I actually enjoy the process of studying & absorbing information. But if I imagine myself studying, I would most likely imagine it as less enjoyable & a bore. Wierd eh? Anyone can relate to this. I am also starting to like exams now, perhaps because I know that if I have prepared for it, I can do reasonably well in it. I have more self-confidents in studies now as compared to last year.

I remembered my first semester, I struggled through because I do not know how to explain facts in my own words. I remembered the times I cried because I felt as if I didn't have a mind of my age (means maybe a lil dumber than my actual age; eg. a mind of a 15 year old in a 18 year old body). I didn't know how to analyze or think critically then. It was a whole new thing for me...

You know, in our government secondary school, we are often spoon fed. Teachers don't ask you to think. They just give you information after information for you to absorb & accept as facts. If you do ask too many questions, they will shut you up & criticize you for asking stupid questions. In colleges, you are required to think for your own... your own thoughts & opinions, do your own research & cross referencing. I won't say it's a WHOLE BIG change because at times they do still spoon feed ya. It'll probably be a MUCH BIGGER CHANGE, after you transfer to a foreign land to further your studies.

When you are in an unknown land, with different environment, different atmosphere, different people, different culture, different lecturers... different LEARNING STYLE.. How are you gonna adapt? Well, you just have to catch up as fast as you can. But always know that there would be peeps from your home or maybe elsewhere studying as well, supporting ya in whatever you do.

Not satisfied!!!

Hmmm I shifted to this bloggie here hoping that I would be happier blogging here. I don't know why I have this mindset that the other blog of mine is like isolated edi. I've always wanted to have some nice design on my blog, simple yet signifies something... about me. The thing is, I don't know layout stuff, HTML info & all that... If not, I would really do lots of change in my blog. I wish I didn't have to kacau some of my friends, asking them super a lot of questions about stuff like these.. *pai seh* =P Thanks anyway yaz!!! =)

I kinda like this new blog... I guess it's the font, the space & the stuff I can add into my blog, such as pics & songs (if I can figure out how to do it). The thing is I don't know how to use the features!! *gaaahhh!!!* Also, I think my blog seems very white.... maybe cause my notebook screen have some dirty invisible spots here & there, so it doesn't look like the pure white background. Not satisfied for some reason? too plain or greyish-white perhaps? hehehe =P Now, it doesn't look any different from my old blog.

Am I really picky or what?!!

Not be the BEST but DO MY BEST!

I'm moved & touched by my cell mates. They are always supportive & are willing to give a hand when help is needed (actually, both hands, not just one) ^_^ I am so proud of them & so glad that I have an oppurtunity to serve with them.

I know very well that many may think that I am inadequate. I remember when I told my parents & bro, last night during dinner that I may lead CG soon, they kinda laughed a bit. Well, I don't really mind... I expected that kind of response (well, at least they responded something!). It doesn't really hurt me because I know myself that I am not that 'chun' kinda leader, outspoken, able to motivate members and give a super powerful speech which may influence others. I guess that's the mentality of what a leader should be for many peeps.

I had a friend who read my blog yesterday and asked me about it. He said that he would support me & help me to become the best leader. He & another friend of mine, discussed before about me being a leader & I was told that there weren't many positive comments. It hurt a bit, but it's ok 'cuz I know where my standards are... I know where I stand in being a leader. He then continued by saying that I need to prove myself to both of them, and I would think that many others too wants some proof as well.

I thought about that message for a while. Something was wrong there... I know since my teenage years, I've always have this urge of proving to people that I am a person that is capable & able to live my own life independantly. But then, something else was in my mind yesterdat as I read the message... Something different, not I would expect from myself. Perhaps it was the prompting of the Holy Spirit in me...

I replied back to my friend...
"Bro... My aim is not to be the BEST leader but rather DO MY BEST to become one & lead others. I know very well that I am inadequate but I also know that I can depend on His adequacy. I don't know why He is using me, but I'll let Him anyway. Yes, certianly I'll be open to learn. One thing I realized is that I don't need to prove anyone anything 'cause this is not about me but Him. I'm reminded by Moses on how God used him when he was first reluctant & felt inadequate too. God had faith in him & so does He on me".

Switched blogs...

hey hey! Yeah, I just started my blog here... Why? Thought that my other blog was kinda plain & I would like to join my CGmates with BLOGSPOT!!! =P There are a lot of features that I would like to explore & use here. Hopefully, I can find whatever I want to have in my bloggie.

Hopefully, I'll be updating more as well. I should be... If I don't, just pest me for something to write about, k?

Take care ya all. Will post something soon... right after I figure out how to really use this webbie.