Happy Ever After

A girl who dreams for a prince that is able to sweep her off her feet & desire for an adventure of a lifetime together. A girl that finds security in her guy because her knight & shining armour is able to protect her & she is able to confide in him. A guy that makes her feel as if she is the most beautiful gal, not because she is beautiful compared to all the other gals around but because he set his eyes on her, only on her because he chose to.

These fairy tales brings warmth to my heart. A desire to be with a person... that loves me & I love him too. Often, when we watch this fairy tale on screen, we do not see the problems between the the couple... the disagreements, the "can't stand with each other's bad habit", the "i'm want to do my own thing" or "i'm can't always be with you" factor... heheh how ironic?

I've been swept off my feet many times, thought that the person is the ONE. Well, it's simply 'cause I fall in love easily *that's dangerous, don't ya think?* You see, movies they don't really talk about the importance of commitment. It's all about the 'head over heels' feeling. That's why LOVE seems so easy for everyone. They just gotta feel it, and *BOOM*, you're already there.

If feelings are not constant/steady, how is it that LOVE is erverlasting? What happens if there is no commitment? You move from one person to another & another & another... till you get tired of it? That's why break-up/divorce rates are so high. They didn't add in the element of commitment.

Some may say, if you don't have feelings for the person, why marry him? Let's look into arranged marriage. They still stick with each other thru thick & thin... and are able to learn to love one another that started out just from a commiment. They didn't start off with feelings. So, how did they do it?

What is LOVE? Of course, I don't deny that if you wanna have the goofy smile on ya, the butterflies in the stomach, the happy thoughts with ya partner, you'll need to feel for the other person-la. It is an important element to boost up our happiness, being with the person, the nice feeling. But do realize that it comes & go. Sometimes, for all you know, you are so fed up with the person.. you get bored of him & her. Hey! it happens, when you get to know a person your whole life. Go ahead & try it!

Also, the element of companionship. Knowing that you've been with the person so long... understanding the person enough... You don't have to say a word to be with the person. Being there with the person is already enough. Silence that states a thousand words (erm, does this make sense?) Yeah.. that satisfaction, knowing that he or she is there...

Hmmm.... Man, I hope that one day, I really understand what it meant to really LOVE someone. Knowing all this cognitively is harder than putting it into action... especially the commitment part. It's like... "do you, Lizzie Hie, take this person as your wedded husband, to love, to honor, to cherish now & evermore?" Of course, I would love to scream out "Yesssss!!!! I do!!!!!"... but thinking about being with the person 24/7 when you can't even stand the person at times now, unable to feel happy with the person at times & you don't understand anything about commitment... It freaks you out!!!

Anyway, I am 19 years old. Why do I need to be so desperately in love with someone in this age? Well, other than the pressures around me... and the subtle temptations whispering into my ears, saying "Liz, go now, before you lose your chance.. Why not have him now rather than have to wait?" Guess what? Love is a CHOICE. You choose to want to be with the person & love the person. That enhances the feelings, & it's the core of commitment & creates companionship with the person.

So, does it really matter if I have lost my chance? After all, it's a choice. You want to still love the person, even if you lose the person, or you wanna go on with your life, looking for other fishes in the sea? Of course, something would be pulling you back & it seems so so so hard to let go... but you gotta learn to put your foot down & make a choice.

I choice to love the person & to be loved by the person.

You still can have your fairy tale, by the way. It's just how you percieve your life with your partner. "Happy Ever After" does exist.. Even if you don't get the guy or girl of your dreams... or you stick to be single because your girl was married off to another... It still can happen to you.

Messiness

Aikksss! Messy-nya!!! I also sendiri cannot tahan my own messiness at times. It seem as if there was a mini tornado entered into my room & mess the whole place up (esp my study table & cupboard). So, it looks like my room was the victim of the Lizzie Tornado Disaster! I recieved a sweet written message from my mum last nite, posted on my room door. It stated "Liza, clean up your room! It's a mess!!! Mum"

Just a sneak peak of my table... I thought it was one of my best pics i took... Have anyone seen my class notes? I always rewrite my notes again.... Why? You'll see why...

Get what I mean?
See the BIG difference between these two?

Too bad, I don't have the pics of my clothes in my cupboard when it was messed up. Maybe can show it the next time... when it's messed up again. Of course, I hope that it won't happen, so that I won't need to pack it up again... Then again, packing up can be quite fun! ^_^ seriously!

The thing bout me is that... when I am messy, I am extremely messy! *If I really don't have the time, I really don't care!* However, when it's time for me to clear up my stuff, to clean up & to be neat, I can be really organized & neat. I am quite fussy about the arrangement of things, the position (at times), how it is compiled, where, etc etc. There are significant differences on why I arrange or pile up my things this way.. and not the other. It is as if there is a theme or a pattern - *I can be a potential serial killer* jk jk! =P

Well, it goes the same about our lives. We have messed up lives & so, we have to clean it up. However, at times, we don't wanna clean up & we love keeping it that way. Perhaps because we are used to it. It has been like that for years & no one actually knows about it, unless they come to visit your "room" (what I really meant here is our lives... if some of you are blur). Maybe, some things have some sentimental values in our lives. Some things are just hard to let go, but after a while we have to. Things on earth, does not last anyway... so, why are we holding to it so tightly? Some things are meant to be thrown away & somethings perhaps should be kept.

You know... if you don't clean your room, at times you may find cocroaches or lizards hiding under your stuff. Worst, if you have food, it'll grow moldy.. It'll attract bugs & slimy stuff. It's gonna make your things & room atmosphere worst than it is. Plus, as days go by, we'll keep piling more things on our table, on the floor, bed... & it'll be a whole lot messier than it was previosly. Get how it applies in our lives?

So, if you think that your life is in a mess, don't just sit there... move your butt & clean it up! Like cleaning your room. You need help, ask for help. I'm sure friends that are true to ya will be more than willing to help you out. All you got to do is ask for it... Always remember that after you have cleaned up your "room", it may get messy again BUT do not fret... take time to look into it & clean it up.

So, CLEAN UP YOUR ROOM! =P I know I have mine to take care of ;)

Assignments, examinations, studies... college/uni life!!!

I was really looking forward for the Raya holidays... I was hoping that I am able to hang out with some of my friends & perhaps, chill for that week. Boy, was I wrong... I don't have time for that at all. As a result of not starting my assignment from the beginning of the semester, I had to rush through my assignments. I have 3 assignments to be done...

1. My informative speech for Publis Speaking
2. Written term project on IBM
3. Debate against the topic entitled "Women marry early to maximize childbearing rate"

I haven't started on my speech at all yet (no idea what to talk about... any ideas, anyone?), the other 2 still on 'research' mode. All these assignments have to be handed in or presented right after my Raya hols. Wahhhhh!!! Now, I really prefer sitting for examinations than doing my projects 'cause at least in exams, you know what to expect & you know what to do. It's very hard for me to start on assignments because I don't really know how to start or execute it in the first place. It's very ambiguous.

I just realize something... I don't like the idea of studying, but I like studying. You get what I mean? In other words, if I have to study & I am forced to study, I actually enjoy the process of studying & absorbing information. But if I imagine myself studying, I would most likely imagine it as less enjoyable & a bore. Wierd eh? Anyone can relate to this. I am also starting to like exams now, perhaps because I know that if I have prepared for it, I can do reasonably well in it. I have more self-confidents in studies now as compared to last year.

I remembered my first semester, I struggled through because I do not know how to explain facts in my own words. I remembered the times I cried because I felt as if I didn't have a mind of my age (means maybe a lil dumber than my actual age; eg. a mind of a 15 year old in a 18 year old body). I didn't know how to analyze or think critically then. It was a whole new thing for me...

You know, in our government secondary school, we are often spoon fed. Teachers don't ask you to think. They just give you information after information for you to absorb & accept as facts. If you do ask too many questions, they will shut you up & criticize you for asking stupid questions. In colleges, you are required to think for your own... your own thoughts & opinions, do your own research & cross referencing. I won't say it's a WHOLE BIG change because at times they do still spoon feed ya. It'll probably be a MUCH BIGGER CHANGE, after you transfer to a foreign land to further your studies.

When you are in an unknown land, with different environment, different atmosphere, different people, different culture, different lecturers... different LEARNING STYLE.. How are you gonna adapt? Well, you just have to catch up as fast as you can. But always know that there would be peeps from your home or maybe elsewhere studying as well, supporting ya in whatever you do.

Not satisfied!!!

Hmmm I shifted to this bloggie here hoping that I would be happier blogging here. I don't know why I have this mindset that the other blog of mine is like isolated edi. I've always wanted to have some nice design on my blog, simple yet signifies something... about me. The thing is, I don't know layout stuff, HTML info & all that... If not, I would really do lots of change in my blog. I wish I didn't have to kacau some of my friends, asking them super a lot of questions about stuff like these.. *pai seh* =P Thanks anyway yaz!!! =)

I kinda like this new blog... I guess it's the font, the space & the stuff I can add into my blog, such as pics & songs (if I can figure out how to do it). The thing is I don't know how to use the features!! *gaaahhh!!!* Also, I think my blog seems very white.... maybe cause my notebook screen have some dirty invisible spots here & there, so it doesn't look like the pure white background. Not satisfied for some reason? too plain or greyish-white perhaps? hehehe =P Now, it doesn't look any different from my old blog.

Am I really picky or what?!!

Not be the BEST but DO MY BEST!

I'm moved & touched by my cell mates. They are always supportive & are willing to give a hand when help is needed (actually, both hands, not just one) ^_^ I am so proud of them & so glad that I have an oppurtunity to serve with them.

I know very well that many may think that I am inadequate. I remember when I told my parents & bro, last night during dinner that I may lead CG soon, they kinda laughed a bit. Well, I don't really mind... I expected that kind of response (well, at least they responded something!). It doesn't really hurt me because I know myself that I am not that 'chun' kinda leader, outspoken, able to motivate members and give a super powerful speech which may influence others. I guess that's the mentality of what a leader should be for many peeps.

I had a friend who read my blog yesterday and asked me about it. He said that he would support me & help me to become the best leader. He & another friend of mine, discussed before about me being a leader & I was told that there weren't many positive comments. It hurt a bit, but it's ok 'cuz I know where my standards are... I know where I stand in being a leader. He then continued by saying that I need to prove myself to both of them, and I would think that many others too wants some proof as well.

I thought about that message for a while. Something was wrong there... I know since my teenage years, I've always have this urge of proving to people that I am a person that is capable & able to live my own life independantly. But then, something else was in my mind yesterdat as I read the message... Something different, not I would expect from myself. Perhaps it was the prompting of the Holy Spirit in me...

I replied back to my friend...
"Bro... My aim is not to be the BEST leader but rather DO MY BEST to become one & lead others. I know very well that I am inadequate but I also know that I can depend on His adequacy. I don't know why He is using me, but I'll let Him anyway. Yes, certianly I'll be open to learn. One thing I realized is that I don't need to prove anyone anything 'cause this is not about me but Him. I'm reminded by Moses on how God used him when he was first reluctant & felt inadequate too. God had faith in him & so does He on me".

Switched blogs...

hey hey! Yeah, I just started my blog here... Why? Thought that my other blog was kinda plain & I would like to join my CGmates with BLOGSPOT!!! =P There are a lot of features that I would like to explore & use here. Hopefully, I can find whatever I want to have in my bloggie.

Hopefully, I'll be updating more as well. I should be... If I don't, just pest me for something to write about, k?

Take care ya all. Will post something soon... right after I figure out how to really use this webbie.