Chrismassy Spirit?

This year's Christmas is rather different than the previous years.

1) It is much quieter... because many of our relatives or perhaps close friends are not around to spend Christmas together. As a result, many may feel alone this Christmas. This is because it is said that you have to spend Christmas with the people you love, with the people close to ya...

So, does that mean that Christmas is nuthin without people? It sure feels that way. But what bout our communion with our Heavenly Father? Instead of the communion with peeps in the world?


2) Also, I realize that Christmas is not about presents... I remembered those times I put so much effort in making my friends gifts (cookies, bookmarks...). This year, it just didn't really matter as much as it did. I didn't have much time or even put my mind in making prezzies.

Don't get me wrong, I do love making & giving out of joy in my heart. I like to see people smile because they are being thought of & appreciated. Just that, in this fast-pace society & busyness in the world, we tend to forget what we really want to do & achieve in life at times. I did, prepare a few prezzies for my leaders to appreciate them & a just few of my friends. *I can count them with my fingers* I remembered last time I make sooo many.. as if I am santa clause.


3) Unlike the song...

"Have yourself a merry little Christmas,
have a yuletide gay,
from now on, our troubles will be miles away..."

You realize that there are still people who struggle to live, that problems are still nearby though it's Christmas time... There are people who live elsewhere in the streets & have to struggle through the cold & windy night... Christians who knows God but feels as if He is just no where near... how bout those who doesn't know the true meaning of Christmas?

Then again, it's all in the person's perspective & view of life. Some people may live in such conditions and yet celebrate Christmas because they appreciate the little things in life... such as the air they breathe, a place to stay (though it may be on the streets...), food on the table for families or that they even have families at all & friends. We should all reflect back & be thankful for all the things that God has provided for us, inspite of the screw ups & the troubles that come our way. That makes our troubles less burdening because we focus more on being thankful from the bottom of our hearts as well as hope from God instead.

But, don't you agree it is sooo hard to put your mind to it? To think of positive thoughts when negative events strikes us?


4) Christmas is always focused on evangelistic events. Always focused on non-Christians. How bout us Christians? Did we forget the reason we celebrate Christmas? Is it all about the evangelism project & we forget the real reason ourselves? We can still celebrate without needing to make it as an evangelistive event. We still can enjoy ourselves with our fellow brothers & sisters & together share the spirit of Christmas. If we ourselves, can't enjoy Christmas or perhaps find it a burden because of the preparation we need to make and often fret that our friends can't make it for the party, how can others see the true Christmas in us? It's not wrong of course to invite non-Christians, of course. God will give oppurtunities & open doors. But, the spark of Christmas have to start from us.

That's what I learnt about Christmas this year.

We Are The Reason

As little children
We would dream of Christmas morn,
Of all the gifts & toys
We knew we'd find
But we never realized
A baby born one blessed night
Gave us the greatest gift of our lives

# We were the reason that He gave His life
We were the reason that He suffered & died
To the world that was lost He gave all He could give
To show us the reason to live.

As the years went by,
we learnt more about gifts
The giving of ourselves
And what that means
On a dark & coudy day
A man hung crying in the rain
Because of love, because of love.

Bridge: I've finally found the reason for living
It's in giving every part of my heart to Him
In all that I do, every word that I say
I'll be giving my all just for Him, for Him

2# We are the reason that He gave His life
We are the reason that He suffered & died
To the world that was lost
He gave all He could give
To show us the reason to live

He is my reason to live

Suicidal Rides!!!

20th Dec 2005
I went for a field trip with some of my college mates to GENTING HIGHLANDS! *Yahoooo!* At first I was really reluctant to go as one of my friend can't make it & I am not so keen on riding any of the rides there. It'll be a waste if I pay the money, go for it & get sick after going for the rides there *I get motion sickness very easily, you see*. I was so so so afraid. In my mindset, if that friend was there, at least he knows how to handle me when I am sick and my parents really trust him kinda thing. When my dad heard that he is not going & only 4 of us are going (2 guys & 2 gals), he sounded a bit worried. Well, that's because my dad don't really know them except my other girl friend who is going with me. Actually, I am really surprised that they allowed me to go to Genting with my friends, without any adult supervision, in the first place! Hehehahaha I'm actually old enough to go to places on my own with my friends!! Well, it's not like total freedom yet. But, soon I'll really be on my own. Though my friend couldn't make it cuz he had fever, I decided to go anyway since I've promised my friends that I'll make it... and I can't leave my poor girl friend alone. Anyway, there were 3 rides we sat for at the outdoor themepark & we also went for the indoor activities. Since, Dec is a peak season, there was a really LOOONNGG~ queue for each game. We have to wait at least 45 minutes to actually get to ride on it. We went for the "CORKSCREW" rollercoaster ride, "SPACE SHOT" & "SPACE ADVENTURE".

"CORKSCREW" It was my first time sitting on the rollercoaster with 360 degrees turn (TWICE!). I didn't think it was that bad. It looked pretty tame. Boy, I was wrong! It was fast & furious! The 360 degrees turnings weren't as fast as we thought it would be. It was much much scarier. My friends & I screamed out lungs out! Now, we know why other people scream so much when they go for these kinda rides. We thought they were either screaming for fun or the image of fear is all in the mind. I can still feel the adrenaline rush till this day >_<

"SPACE SHOT" This is a scary ride! I was so afraid to get on it. Before it even started, I was kicking my legs like a kid, who is so afraid & doesn't wanna be near this thing *well, I sat on it edi, so, I can't really escape*. I remember telling my friends, "sssccarrreeddddd laaaa~" & I was about to go nuts. When it started to move up... I was so afraid... It was sooo misty up there. "Don't look down" I reminded myself again & again. Well, I can't see anything anyway. I heard my friend said "Crap, it's so high!!!". I quickly closed my eyes when we reached the top... Then, unexpectedly, the machine pull us all the way dooooowwwnnnn. I SCREAAAMMMEDDD, but it only lasted a few seconds. My voice felt as if it was stuck in my throat and it wouldn't come out. I was so afraid. It stopped midway & slowly brought us down... When it was coming down, I opened my eyes... Then, i started being afraid again, shouting "it's sooo highhh!!" I felt as if I was a small kid about to cry! My friends had to cool me down & told me "Chill girl, we are reaching the ground already". I opened my eyes, there were tears collected near my eyes. I don't know whether to laugh or to cry!!! It wassss a scaaarry experienceee! My friends made sure that I was okie and then we had a good laugh about the ride. As you can guess, we laughed about my expression as well.

I told my friends "I am neverrr gonna sit all these rides again. Perhaps in 20 years later" =P

The 3rd ride was a family ride. We didn't know what this ride was about & I was hoping that it's not something scary or thrill rides because we just ate our lunch! * we don't want to waste our food & vomit it all out* Oh, did I tell you that it rained really heavily that afternoon in Genting? It wasss so so cold! It started right after the 2nd ride "Space shot". Anyway, the 3rd ride, space adventure was more of a kid's ride. Nothin much involved there.

After that, we went into Indoors to the First World Plaza. It was beautiful! Sorry, I don't have pics for this. We went for the "Haunted Adventure" & "Ripley's Believe It a Not" museum.
The 'Haunted Adventure' was pretty creepy. They have figurines and machine-like ghosts that scares the crap out of you. In addition to that, there are real people which play the rold as the ghosts, zombies and stuff like that. Trying to grab hold of ya. They make lotsa loud banging sounds as well. My friend & I were holding unto each other when we went through the "haunted house". We really wonder to ourselves... why are we so scared? After all, we know that none of this are real (as in it's figurines, actor & actresses). Plus, we are Christians. We know that evil spirits & all exist but we shouldn't be afraid because we have a God so BIG, by our side. This really taught me that, as humans, we really don't wanna toy with this spiritual beings & going through this, really made us feel extremely uncomfortable. I guess, people go for the thrills, ya know. It kept me thinking... how strong is my faith in God? That He will protect me & provide a way out, especially if I have to face these demons one day...
'Ripley's Believe It a Not' museum is soooo cool! We see the things that we have never seen before that actually exist in this world. Some of it are pretty wierd!!! Seriously. It's worth every penny... I've never been so amused in a museum before... reading the descriptions & looking intently at the objects as well as pictures on each walls in the museum. It is increadible! Almost out of the world! It made me realize how creative our God is, as He designed everything & everyone. Some are out of our own minds & imagination!

Well, that's it for today... That's my adventure in Genting Highlands Themepark! Before you go, I thought of showing you all this pic, we found in the museum! So cool, cute & amusing!

Happiness...

Is happiness just a feeling or can one choose to be happy?
Can it last or would you have to make it last yourself?

Is happiness more important than commitment?
What if one can't find happiness in a commitment made?

Will one have to sacrifice own happiness for a commitment?
Or will the sacrifice be worth it because there is a glimpse of hope that
one will be able to be happy later or even choose to be happy

Is happiness just an emotion...?
I guess it's quite subjective to many people.
Do share your opinions ^_^

The Day I was Born

12/12/1986 was the day I was born.

In this present time, 12/12/2005, 19 years old...

I was so happy that I got to celebrate my birthday here in M'sia with my family & friends. I've been celebrating my birthday overseas for the past 2 years or so, as my family & I usually travel in the month of December. I am overjoyed that I am given the oppurtunity to celebrate my special day here before I leave to Aussie to further my studies.

1. 9th Dec '05 - I was suppose to bring a cake to my ADP Ball to celebrate the rest of my friend's birthday as well, but it wasn't successful because I didn't have transport to get it & also I was rush to the ball. I was really surprised when later, my collegemates bought a cake from the hotel instead to celebrate our birthdays. It was pretty funny. They couldn't sing the birthday song for us, as there were performances on stage. So, quietly in our table, they lit the candle & asked us to make a wish, in the midst of the performances. So, 4 of us did & then we blew the lit candle ^_^ It was great I tell you, with the background music & celebration of our birthdays quietly without bothering anyone else in the ball.

2. 10th Dec '05 - I got to celebrate my birthday in Malacca with my fellow worshippers ^_^ Again, I am touched and they actually know my birthdate. Was so so happy! Should see my pictures =P They surprised us with the cake at night but ate the cake the next morning as we were too full from dinner. So, the next day only we cut the cake. Heheh delayed some time.

3. 11th Dec '05 - A close friend of mine came over to spend time with me before my birthday until my birthday itself. We didn't do anything much but I was really happy that someone is willing to spend the time with me. Well, I think we basically watched some Korean series the whole nite. Oh, I was asked to dance as well! It was pretty funny because we didn't know how to do it in the first place. I guess, you just go... left right, left right.. round 'n round. Correct ah?

4. 12th Dec '05 - I was quite sad at first because there weren't much plans for that day. Actually, there were, but it wasn't confirmed. So, I thought perhaps it was cancelled or something. The whole afternoon I was with my parents... It was a DRAGGY afternoon. They looked at cameras for hours & only started eating lunch late in the afternoon. After that my friend asked me out for dinner. It was a postponed dinner from the night before, but it was ok. So, a bunch of them took me out for dinner at 1Utama Shakeys!

6.30pm : There were about 8 of us. When I took out my wallet to offer to pay because it was my birthday, they shove it into my pocket again >_< face="trebuchet ms">The 5 of us were sitting in Shakeys, waiting for them & crapping away. Then, when i turned my head & looked towards the corridor. I saw those 3 fellas running across the corridor. Not once but TWICE! heahahah *caught them in action* There was a great scenary outside of the pizza place & so I went out there to chill for a while. Also, my friend & I crossed the bridge to the kid's playground section. I love that place. After a while, a few of them suddenly walked to the bridge & surprised me with a piece of banana chocolate cake. It was my favourite!!! Wah!!! ^_^ I was overjoyed... the funny part was, before I got to blow the candle out, it was light was already gone! *teehee*I wondered when I was breathing & sucking for oxygen, I also sucked in the flame. I had the cake for myself! heahahaha though it was just 1 piece, it was quite a lot for me to finish it on my own. I really had fun~!

11pm : Later, that night, I went out supper with another bunch of friends of mine - schoolmates from high school. They wanted to meet me for supper. I got to found out later that they actually wanted to surprise me during dinner but I chose to go out with this other group of friends of mine instead. The reason was because it was a postponed appointment. Since, I've already spent time with my close friend the night before, I thought perhaps, I'll spent time with my church mates instead for dinner. Anywayz, 4 of us just talked and ate supper. The whole surprising thing happened when I reached my friend's car. They took out thier water guns! I thought to myself "CRAP!" I totally forgotten our tradition & actually let my guard down! The tradition was that if it's my birthday or any of our friend's birthday, I'll always be shot with it.

My gosh, I was running around like a squirrel at the parking lot, screaming & hiding. Finally, locked myself in my friend's car. It didn't work, as he had the car keys! >_< Well, I got wet eventually. As you know the law of gravity, what comes up, have to come down. At least I got a free bathe... at the side of the road & my they washed my hair too! Exciting eh? =P Wonder what they put into the water... I hope it's not pee or anything like dat *my friend did go into the bathroom before that* YUCK! cuz my hair was itching a lot after that. Anyhow, I really enjoyed myself because this is how we bond together.. my friends & I!

5. 13th Dec '05 - I had dinner with my family! Japanese food! Yey! I hope we did more than just having dinner. Like watch movie together or play games, but my mum is pretty busy with her assignments lately. So, perhaps another time ;) I was suppose to go out with a friend to watch a movie but it was cancelled 'cuz I confirmed late & for some other reason. I guess, it just ended there. I didn't quite explain myself to my friend but I did apologize.

It was a great year of celebration ^_^ Though there were a few problems here & there.. it's okie. I am thankful & truly appreciate those who smsed me to wish me. Those who are close to me and those whom I haven't seen or heard from for months! Thank you all! =) Thanks for making this birthday happen for me! I really feel special & loved by you peeps.

Cuti-cuti Malaysia

I went for a retreat with my worship team last weekend to Malacca. I'm a Malaysian, yet it was my first time visiting the historical places. Malaysia started off in Malacca *correct rite?* =P As you can see, I can't even remember much on the history of M'sia. Terrible me...

Anywayz, we had loads of fun there. The only thing that I was worried was the food there. I had a bad experience in Malacca when I was younger because I had food alergy. As a result of that, I am extra careful when it comes to ordering food and eating them. Oh, do you know that Malacca's food is way cheaper than KL's food? We were so surprised with the price there. Unfortunately, one of our members actually commented too loudly, until the owner of the mamak stall heard it as well *haha* =P And so, my leader quickly rectify the situation by telling the owner that the price was REASONABLE (cheap sounds quite insulting, you see).

In this retreat I got to know my group of youth worship team well. We call ourselves FLARE by the way. I can tell you... they are super siao!!! *means crazy in S'porean term* They can be increadibly noisy and they are as playful as kids. SERIOUS! Oh, not to mention, they all LOVE food! heheheh =P yeah... I guess that's what you call a true Malaysian. It's great that I was able to see like the 'true' side of them and also, we had this session whereby, we shared our 'timeline' as in, sharing about our lives within that 19 years? (well for me la.. the rest may be longer cuz they are older) & what event played a significant roles in our lives. Listening to them telling their stories help us understand each other better as we know where the person come from & how he or she was brought up. We see how different people become who they are now because of experiences and the environment they were or are living in now.

By the way, we prepared our own breakfast. As some of you may know, I don't usually prepare my own food. I am learning now though.. and I gotta admit, though it's kinda tiresome, it is kinda fun as well.. especially when you have peeps doing it with ya. We created this sandwich.. which only cost us 17 bucks for the whole thing (inc. bread, butter, mayonise...) I don't have the pics now, but I'll put it on, when I get it from my fellowmates. It looks good and most importantly, taste good as well! Of course, the gals, won the breakfast/sandwich competition because the guys boasted too much for having more expenditure cost but forgotten to put their teriyaki chicken into the refrigerator!!! *hhahaha* But we were merciful enough to make sandwiches for them as well..

Well, yeah.. that's about it for the retreat. I just regret that I am not such a chatty person. I was most of the time quite quiet... but I really do enjoy and had fun myself being with them, observing their conduct & listening to their conversations and life stories. I had a great time there. Plus, they celebrated my birthday there! I am so so touched! ^_^

Will be back with more pics the next time =)

Breakaway

Just as the song... "So, I pray that I'll breakaway"...

Breakaway from the bondage of sin & addictions...
Breakaway from the all the noises of the world...
Breakaway from the whispers of temptations...
Breakaway from being consumed with myself...
Breakaway from learned helplessness...
Breakaway from the lazyness & over-dependence on others...

Breakaway to a place I'll find peace...
Breakaway to make a change somehow...
Breakaway & soar like an eagle...
Living in freedom & in boldness...
Breakaway to find a place I belong...

Word of Wisdom

"Everything rises & falls on leadership"
- John Maxwell

Wake up, Sleeping beauty...

This whole week, I've been strangely relaxed though my exam starts on Saturday!!! *ooohh the peace of God, must be upon me* I've been sleeping a lot and find it really hard to get up. The duration of my nap time was supposed to be only half an hour to an hour... I ended up sleeping for about 2-3 hours!!! I really wonder... is my body trying to catch up on my sleepless nights, weeks before that, or is my brain just mentally dead? meaning too lazy & tired to think or do anything... *wake up sleeping beauty, SMACK*

I wish that I can sleep forever and dream dreams that all seem so real & wonderful. In reality, life is just not that way. You get smacked by problem after problem, dwell upon issues over issues & finally ask yourself once again... "what is life really about? What is the most important thing about life that God wants us to know or learn? What is His core message?"

We have dreams which seem impossible to reach, identity crisis "who am I? What am I doing here? Is this me... like ME?", searching for love & acceptance everywhere, trying to be 'special' or different from the rest or perhaps, catching up with the flow.... We have so many things bombarded in our faces... and at times, all i wanna do is just be shut off from all these things & just sleep on it. The world will still go on rite? What difference will it make if I just sleep through it?

Will there be a difference? What does God have to say about it? God wants us to "WAKE UP!!!" look around, face it, don't shut off from it. You may not be of the world, but you are still in it. I'm not saying that sleeping is bad at all.. don't get me wrong. People have to rest... we have to rest spiritually and wait upon the Lord as well or we'll be totally burn out.. but don't hide in your comfort... "Look at things around you with MY perspective", says the Lord, perhaps then, things would be much different. Your heart goes out to others rather than being focused on yourself 'cuz life is not all bout me, me, me...

So, wake up from the things that you're doing, or have done that you know it's not favourable in His eyes. Wake up to see the difference between reality and fantasy. Wake up and look around... and see what is truly happening in this world, He has made. Wake up from dreams and make your dream come true instead. Wake up and see the ones who are in need more than you do. At last, wake up and see what God has prepared for ya...