Remember the plan?

Remember the plan I mentioned about... the ones about me and my gals?
Ze "Pampering Self" case...

Lolz... No, I didn't get to do facial, manicure/pedicure, straighten my hair and had a total change of fashion.

Why not? It was kinda over the budget. So, we went for the cheaper way of pampering ourselves! *lol*

We did ShOpPiNgZ and KaRaOke-iNg!!!

It was fun!!! Now, I know where to get good and cheap make up sets.
Eg.
For eye shadows & nail polish go to Sasa
For lipsticks, powder, consealer & nail polish... go to Maybelline

My mind got blown off when I heard that consealer cost about RM 80 - 90 in Steila.
I am not a frequent shopper, so I don't know, you see. What more on make-up sets which I hardly get?
My friend brought me to Maybelline and it's only 19.90 bucks!
What a wide price gap!!!

I got a top, skirt and flower pin for the wedding. All in white except the flower pin - in pink.
Friends said I can even wear it for prom! *lolz* Perhaps, I will if I am going. Better still. No need to spend for prom!
Thanks gals! Couldn't have chosen ze perfect outfit without you gals!

We sang the craziest songs. My bestbud have the best voice ever. Luv it!!!
However, the karaoke place that we went didn't have many songs though and we could only use the place for 2 hours.

Oh, I've also learnt that.. when you wash your face with cleanser, you have to use toner and mosturizer after that, to prevent dirt from going into your pores again. *lolz*
I think my face looks so much clearer after following those steps more consistently =)
Am glad! Don't ask, how come I don't know as a girl, ok. I just didn't.
I thought mosturizer makes me skin oily and I shouldn't use it.
Previously, I only used it when I put make up on as the base or if I am in Aus, and had dry skin.

So, yeah... I believe that you can pamper yourselves in the simplest ways, esp when you're with your hnaging out with ya gal-friends.

Hey, but I haven't forgotten the ultimate pampering plan. It's just postponed to much much much later when I have such money to spend on and time at my side. That's all! =P

Stoning Away...

Monday mornings... wait.. it's not just the monday mornings.. Almost every morning when I reluctantly wake up for work, I know that I'm gonna begin the day by stoning. Now, here I am in the office, stoning as I stare at the computer....

*waiting... waiting... processing....*

"What am I doing? What am I thinking? What am I staring at?" At times, I really have no idea... I just space out.

This is the result of LACK OF SLEEP!!!! or TOO MUCH SLEEP!!

As for mua, I don't get enough sleep.. But yest, I slept for about 11 hours (not in one shot). I slept from 5.30pm - 10pm and later again at 2.30am - 8.20am.

Body was super tired.. When dad asked me whether I wanted to follow them for dinner, I can't even get up. My eyes could hardly open.. when I answered, I have no idea what came out of my mouth. My voice was muffled. My body was too tired, it was as if, I was pinned unto my bed. It's became sooo heavy, that I can't get myself to do anything else or respond much for that matter.

This morning, I'm wondering whether I have enough sleep... 11 hours seems a lot (when you add up)! but cuz I slept will the afternoon "nap" count? Each day, I get about 5 - 6 hours a day of sleep. Sometimes, even 4 hours only. Well, this is excluding the many times I've dozed off during work or taking a naps 5 mins nap in-between; before, during or after lunch time.

I just want to hibernate! Like the you know those fury animals... when it's winter, they'll have this hibernation period until the season is over. I really gotta take a month off or something. No, not to sleep for a month, but to rest and be recharged physically, to be renewed mentally and refreshed spiritually. November is a great month to do so... because in December I know that I'll be busy with camps, holidays, shopping and catching up with friends before I leave to Aus. In Jan, I'll be preparing for Aus already and off I'll go by the end of the month...

That's fast, huh?

That's why I can't waste my time stoning away and allowing the time and days pass by me, and suddenly realize.. it's all gone... it's all.. gone.. and what have I been doing... I was.. Stoning away....

Say Goodbye

Currently, feeling a lil emo... LOLz!
Luv this song...

"Say Goodbye" (duet by Jordan Knight & Deborah Gibson)

Jordan
Yeah I've been so lost lately
I don't really understand baby
Where did I go wrong
I wanna talk to you
Please call

Deborah
Where do I begin with you
After all that we've been through
I don't think that it would be right
if we got together so suddenly

Jordan
I wish that I could take back all the things that I said
and replace them with simply I love you instead

CHORUS:

Deborah

You don't wanna say goodbye

But you never really seem like you wanna try

Jordan

But I only wanted you to stay then I let you just slip away

Deborah

If you didn't listen to your heart inside

Then it really doesn't matter what was on your mind

And if you need me, then tell me why

Jordan

Girl, I never meant to say goodbye Mmm Oh yeah

Jordan
I think about the past baby
Why we couldn't make it last, lady
I know you still have doubts
But I'm gonna prove that we can work things out

Deborah
I wanna be sure that you
Know what you put me through
And reveal that you intend to never let me down again

Jordan
It's clear to me and I can't ignore that
I have to give you something I couldn't before

-CHORUS-

Bridge:-
Deborah: I didn't think that we would come to this
Jordan: Ooh, no Your eyes, your face, your smile is what I miss
Deborah: Why'd you wait so long to take me back
Deborah & Jordan: It's all a simple misunderstanding

-CHORUS 2x-

I am more...

• independent
• shy
• un-friendly
• paranoid
• tense
• observant
• analytical
• doubtful
• busy
• aware
• vain
• cheeky
• straight-forward/frank
• sarcastic
• un-smiley
• rounder
• doubtful of my gut feeling
• (less) of a conversationalist
• (less) patient
• (less) sensitive to others
• reliable
• 'kan chiong' - worried
• (less) focused
• (less) discipline
• overcomed my laziness..............

..... compared to my teenage years.

The list goes on man.

Pampered Self

Oh man, I can't wait to hang out with my gals!!!
I am sooo up to pamparing myself for one day...
eg. facial, manicure, doing my hair, shopping!

Okie okie.. I wasn't like this before.
I wasn't really the shopping type. I only go shopping like twice a year or something.
But, I really really need some new clothes now and a good fashion advice from my galfriends!

I did manicure like twice before. It's nothing much really.
You just feel relaxed and feel good ya know when someone is doing your nails for ya.. looking good with those nicely cut and painted nails.

Ahh! I can't wait to change the style of my hair! To just try out something new.
My hair can't really do much until I straighten it.. but I think I have to wait till end of the year to do that!!
So long!! I still wanna highlight my hair or something.

I've never done facial before.
Heck, I don't even wear make up when I go out!
I just want them to clean my pores, get rid of those irritating pimples/acnes & blackheads.
I still don't understand how others can get such smooth and flawless skin, but I'm gonna find out soon!

I really really need to start exercising. I am getting rounder each day.
I don't think it's because I eat way a lot.. I eat more junkfood/unhealthy food, perhaps and I lack exercise.
I seriously need to keep fit and hopefully turn my fats into muscles! *haha* Tone it, man!
Also, a healthier lifestyle liao!

I've always said that I want these changes. I've even blogged bout it few months ago! And I still haven't done it yet. Some parts of me, am afraid of the changes cuz I've never been this... I don't know.. pampered with myself? or girly before (in a way)? I mean, I don't do these stuff.

I would often wonder what would people think of me if I changed.
Eg. Do they even know that I have such desires in my heart? Am I not suppose to have these desires? Hide it? What if they don't like the "new me"? What if they find me a total changed person and want the old me back? What if lizzie don't look like the ol goody-goody 2 shoes anymore or the sweet cute-face gal, and they will create this really bad impression of me instead? I mean impressions can be before really knowing the person, rite? What if... what if?

Haha sounds as if... it's a sin to try to look good, pamper myself or beautify myself. Lol! And it's not like I do it so often that I blow my money away for it. These are the questions that kinda make me chicken out last minute, and the awkwardness I feel when I want to look good or beautiful outwardly, but feel a lil ashamed inside. I do wonder, did I vanquish those desires because of all the questions in my thoughts that tells me... Also statements like...

It's not worth ya money, you're just blowing it away. You may create too much attention to yourself, which will cause embarrassment and more problems. How bout, new friends coming because of your looks and old ones leave because you don't seem to be the same. Come on.. you can't do it. Your parents will think that you're nuts! There sure would be negative comments from others about it and comparision made.. I can assure you!

These kinda thoughts really are a pain in the ass, because they surpressed my desire to be feminine and to explore more bout myself and my identity.

I really wanna try it out someday, and I just gotta or my desire would kill me on the inside. I just want to be confident as a girl in the inside of the outside! And I really hope that I can try it out with my galfriends (before one of them leaves to UK and the other to Aus).

Am I ready for the change? I don't know. But I sure like to find out.

P/S Some people may think that I worry too much or am paranoid. But these are experiences and comments I get from people from the past, that sort of "made me who I am" or "the way I think".

CG Retreat Rox Part 2 (Cont.)

3rd Day...
We woke up at 9.30am. Got ready, makan, packed up our things. Can't believe it happened so fast. We have to vacate the room by 12pm (suppose to la but we were half an hour late). We had a worship session before we went off and settled some money issues such as food, accomodation and transportation. Oh man, such a headache trying to remember sort out the money. I am really poor in my maths now. I hardly use it in my course. I do la just not that often and we had calculators or computer to count for ya. See how lazy our minds can get as we depend so much on technology equipments.

So far, the response about the retreat was good :) many of us wished it was longer. I do too. The most unsatisfactory factor was the lunch we had in First World. Other than that, it was a-o-kay! ;) We had good time and wonderful time of knowing one another as we bonded.

Goals achieved:

• Bonding
• Openness - you'll see the true unique colors of each of them!
• Fun-ness
• We included God into our sessions & fun-ness
• Spiritual knowledge/food
• Exposed to knowledge about uniqueness of God's creation/life
• Expended our knowledge about some mind-blowing facts/myths in the museum

My own learning experience:

• Being responsibleBeing firm in certain areas
• Leading a group for this event
• Independance
• Making decisions
• Overcoming my fear
• Reflection
• Chill and relax
• Appreciate nature/God's creation
• Knowing or understanding myself more as well as others
• Reconnecting with God
  

Cell Retreat Rox!

My cell and I went for a Genting trip last weekend. Wow! Came back yesterday evening, I slept like a baby from 5pm+ to 9.30pm >_< It was awesome~!

1st Day...
We reached there about 9.30pm? Really late, right? That was because we left at 7pm from KL Sentral and had to wait for different busses to take us to the apartment - Awana. The unit was great! We had a small kitchen, hall was big enough for all of us.. and comfortable room. Awesome! It can fit 9 of us. Cool, eh?

The night itself after reaching the place, we asked our fav personal chef (one of our own peeps) to prepare supper for us. Tasty~Yummy~ We had a wonderful balcony which became my 'sanctuary'. I love that balcony.. just staring out at the greenary and the sky. Awesome-ness. I spent most of my time there either alone or talking with a number of my cell members there.

You know being teens/young adults, when we are gathered together we won't sleep early. Who goes to camp and sleep early, man? We spent time singing songs (Christian & Secular). We can identify the potential singers, guitar players and crazy ones! *haha* After that some of us played card games - 'Chor Tai Di' - no gambling la. Just for funz! Also, we played Mafia. One member was bullied and picked on like crazy. Man, I think our unit was producing sound polution. Thank God, we didn't have any complaints from the neighbours. Maybe there weren't any around! I had to remind them to tone down their voices from time to time. Crazily, we stayed up till 3am+.


2nd Day...
Surprisingly, the guys woke up first!!! and they woke up about 7.30am!!! Oh my gosh... O_o I thought guys tend to over-sleep most of the time, like piggies. I guess, I underestimated them. *haha* we had great breakfast from 2 chefs this time =) Later, we did devotion and a member of mine, pop questions about the passage he read - "The Coming of Jesus Christ" and "Idleness". Basically, we were discussing about the whole book of 2nd Timothy. It was a good discussion as we try to understand the passage better in its context.

After that we listened to a sermon my friend brought by Ps Kong Hee from City Harvest Church on Marketplace Transformation. He spoke a lot about being out in the world rather than hiding ourselves within the confined walls of the church and making Christ known in the things you do, the work of your hands and the daily decision you make in your workplace. He focused on how we should work towards excellence in our work and from there, how we can actually bring transformation in the society. So then, we try to relate it to our student life in college and universities. How are we to bring transformation there and make a difference? We had a short discussion about the sermon and some of us didn't agree 100% of what he said but we understood the main focus of his message and agreed that there is a need for transformation and impact in our soceity.

Later in the afternoon, we went up to First World Plaza to 'makan'. Oh man, almost all of us were unsatisfied with our lunch. It was superb expensive & tasteless!!! >_<

We went to the outdoor ThemePark. I was extremely tense and sooo afraid to sit on the rides. Pretty freaked out. Not that I haven’t sat on it before, just the experience itself, makes me feel extremely nervous, scared… as if there were butterflies in my stomach. Almost felt like purging my food out when I see the rides. Argh! >_<>

I was sooo tense and was trembling with fear, from the start till the end, even when the ride was slowing down. I have no idea why, when I sit for these kind of rides, there would be some amount of tears collected around my eyes. “Go-Kart” was slow but I pretty much enjoyed the ride. The air was fresh and I got to just chill as I drive. I tried to compete with my one of my members, but he blocked my way when he overtake me! Not fair!!! =P Some of my members went on sitting for more rides but the rest of us was dead tired and once of those rides were enough for me.

For dinner, we vowed not to go back to the same place to eat. Instead, we went to eat fast-food, KFC there. It's more expensive there as well. I think the amount of money we spend on food cost a bomb. We were really behind time (acc. to my schedule),but I had to bring them to "Ripley's Believe It A Not" Museum. People who go to Genting have to visit it. Seriously! It's worth your money. Only RM18. My whole cell members really enjoyed it! By the time, we came out and reached back to our apartment it was about 11.30pm.

I had a sharing session that was supposed to happen, but I thought perhaps they are mentally tired ya know. So, I just let them chill for the night after being out the whole day. Guess what? Some of them were still hyper! We were singing again like the previous night, playing 'Mafia' as well as bullying one of my cell member (he was the target) and playing cards.

As for me, instead of playing cards, I had a great time chilling at the balcony with some of my members/friends. A lil cold at the wee hours in the morning, but great place to be. I call it my 'sanctuary'. That is the place where I talk to God, poured out my worries and concerns to Him, spent time with my devotion, actually wrote something in my travel-diary and just enjoy the greenary as I reflect upon life. I also, get to know more about my friends as I talked to them personally or in a group.

Most of us slept at 5am that morning.

To be cont...

Food for Thought

"Days passes by quicker than I thought
Or am I passing by quicker than those days?"