Taking Notice of Physical Change

Firstly, I would like to say that I feel upset because my face doesn't seem to get better!!! >_< My face is still smooth but I don't know why some parts are still red!!! How long will it take to heal? I hope it'll be gone in a few days time!!!

I realized that if a girl change her looks, only the girl friends would be able to notice what is different about the look.. they are most of the time correct. Some guys may know know that there is a difference but don't know where or what is it! I was told my my guy friend about this as well. We were discussing it in his car. For example, when I did facial, they did my eyebrows as well. Okie ler.. it's quite memalu-fying for me when people notice something different about me (esp if the guys did), because I become more self-concious. I've never done many changes about my looks, style or clothes before last year. However, recently, I've made some obvious changes on my looks such as wearing sleeveless, hair straightening, putting on a bit more make up (depends on where & when), and now, the eyebrows trim. Anyway, the girls noticed it right away & the when my friend (a gal), asked the guys, whether I looked different, they can't tell the difference! Most don't see ANY difference! LOL!

Many of my girl friends seem to think that I look really good, with the changes I've made. Though so, I don't know why I still feel malu & feel like covering my face at times. Maybe cause I never thought I would be interested in these maintaining external beauty or trying to beautify myself. I want to look good in the inside as well as the outside. I never did really care about it before, but I seem to do now. My close guy friends from secondary school, who usually pick on me, seem to think that I am getting vain-er. Well, I gotta admit, I am. Though so, I don't like to admit it because I was afraid that, the guys would laugh at me for becoming more... gal... esp the ones who has known you for ages! They always seem to laugh at me.. >_<

I think taking care of your own skin is not a crime. It's how much you pay attention to it. Too much and too little of attention is bad. There must always be a balance. I think there is a need to look pleasant & presentable. Self-presentation is important & we should take care of our skin & body as well as possible, because these are gifts from God. We are given the responsibility to take care of our own bodies & looks. We owe it up to God to look & be beautiful because we are made beautiful by Him :) However, remember, balance!!! Don't worship yourself or the make up/beautifying objects.

You don't need make-up all the time to look good. Sometimes, simplicity serves the best.
I think there are 2 things that can really enhance your looks!

What shines through most is your self-confidence. It's like if you are walking tall, you are able to enhance your physical looks/features, even if you look chubby (perhaps like me). I should think so :) I'm trying to advice myself to lift my head up and be more confident when I carry myself out. If you always look down & use your hair to cover your face (hhmm yes, talking about me.. also, like Invisible Gal from the cartoon movie, Invinsibles! I do feel like her sometimes) and being afraid of showing your face, I would just feel worst about myself & it'll enhance your flaws more instead.

2ndly, I learnt that smiles does wonders :) Smiles can send vibes to others! *LOL!* It attracts people to you. Smiles can make a difference in people's lives. Beauty can be seen through the genuine & sincere smiles. Smiles will always make a person look great, presentable & pleasant. You may put as much make up as you want to beautify yourself, but if you don't smile or have any self confidence, who is going to notice?

Hehe anyway, this is sort of random. My brain is shutting down. I hope what I said made sense.

So, I'm gonna keep reminding myself, be confident & smile!!!! XD
With make up or no make up. Will new style or old style. Just do it gal!!!

It's fun to try new things on your looks & be adventurous a bit as a girl to pamper myself in beautification! (is there such word?)
After all, I am still a girl, aren't I? I am ok! -_- No quest about it.

Facial "Experience"

Oh man.. this is an experience I will never forget. Why? Because certain emotions were aroused from the experience... such as, PAIN!!! >_<

I don't know what were equipments were used to do whatever the person did to my face. I know my nose had lots of blackheads and I had pimples around.... but my goodness -_- I will never forget that half an hour (was it longer or less, I have no idea)!!!

Before that everything was fine. It was relaxing. Just that half an hour of torture, taking out my blackheads and poking the *slimy thing* out ze pimples. YUCK!!!! My secondary school friend said that the lady used a needle! I was like "WHAT???!!!" Is that gonna make my face 'wHOLeY'??? Good thing I didn't see what she used! I just held unto my own hands tightly (no one to hold mah...) & I was tearing k!

SHUCKS!! and I didn't know my whole face had blackheads!!!! She sqeezed and poke almost everything single inch or mm on my face. It was ridiculously painful!!! -_- *faints*

RM 60 for facial. It was a good experience. Though my cheeks is still kinda red and there are still marks, as if there were pimples (but they aren't la), my skin is really really smooth! That I really like *XD* You know the ads on TV, on those baby Johnson powder or smtng, you put on the baby's butt and it's super smooth... Maybe like that... Just that my face ain't no butt!

Will I go back there again? For now, I'll pass... unless my face cries out for HELP & in desperate need for attention. It was indeed a 'traumatic' experience for me... but I'm glad I went through it at least once to know what it's like :)

Before I forget, a special thanks to my primary & secondary school friend, Stephanie, whom I haven't seen for years, who brought me there!

Sorries said by guys

I've never heard guys said sorry so many times before in my life O_O!!!!

You will only encounter this when you play FUTSAL with them!!! *lol* I'm amazed!

They would say sorry throughout the whole game... It's not limited to situations whereby you accidentally hurt another person (eg. kicked the ball to most sensitive parts of the body, which would hurt like crap). It happens when they've miss the goal, passed the ball to the wrong person, aim wrongly or kicked the ball carelessly... And I am not saying that they say sorry to me or because I am there. They say it to their own team mates & opposing team during the course of the game.

Wow! Indeed it was interesting to study them when they play futsal. I had the privilege to not only observe how they played the game but also, be in the game, playing with them! It was awesome! It helped me broaden my understanding about the game & its rules. Besides that, I got to observe different kicking techniques or different tactics as I studied their body language (eg. how the person wants to tackle the ball, try to deceive the opposition player or pass the ball to their own team mates). You can sort of tell how the person is like, as in their personality, when they play as well ya know *grinz* :)

Come to think of it, I think Sport's Psychology would be pretty interesting subject/course to study!

Anyway, this is my 3rd time playing futsal & I had a great time. It'll be my first & last futsal game in 2007. I'll come back for more when I graduate from Aus, that's for sure.

Gals, you want to know how polite guys can be? Go play futsal with them!!! ;P

Relationship Spree in Aus?

I soooo wanted to strangle my internet line last nite!
After 10 seconds, it keeps disconnecting *ARGH!*

I was talking to my exCG leader from HELP about Adelaide ('cuz she is there) and all...
I do feel excited!!! XD Like a part of me really can't wait to go, yet another is reluctant.

Well, I guess everything is done here. I get to meet the people I want & need to meet before I go off. I even have friends there & people whom I haven't met whom heard of me & know me there. I got all the stuff I need for the trip. I've no unfinished business here. I've got nothing I know I'll regret after leaving. I think I'm set... I'm finally in *peace*! (I really hope so...)

I'm not gonna sulk & worry about the days left! It'll be an adventure for me! I'm on my way to freedom, independence, my search for God & my purpose, my understanding about human behavior, my career path & my future (whether it'll be in M'sia or Aussie-land).

It'll be totally awesome, getting to know many more people there & assimilate to their culture & lifestyle there (which is way healthier than M'sia).

Will I get a boyfriend there my friends asked? See how la. If I God suddenly drops one in front of me & wants me to marry him, then I probably will *lol* But that is extremely wierd. Relationship there is kinda risky... I mean, I don't know how long I'll be there (after my degree, will I still stay on?) & I'll only know the person within the year! That duration is a good time to build a strong friendship rather than rush into a relationship.

I guess my own experiences & my friend's experiences taught me a lot. I regretted so many things that happened in the past... but you know what! Now, I think it was good that I went through those experiences; through the pains, troubles & disappointments along with the sweet memories... I thank God for them!!! I am no longer that naive. People think I'm innocent (I have no idea why... ppl really close to me don't seem to think so), I know what to expect & what not to expect. I can understand certain things & people more (esp. the opposite sex)... it was an eye opener! Some were mistakes... but would I say they were worth it? Erm... in a sense, because God opened & made me learn, and I became the person I am now. Well, just one piece of advice... DON'T RUSH IT!!! :)

So, please don't ask me about relationships now. I know I was desperate before, but now... I just want to enjoy genuine friendships & single-hood!!! Yipeee!!! XD Come back with the question in 2-3 yrs time *I still hope to marry by the time I'm 26 years old* Perhaps by that time, I would be in one. For those interested to know, do tell me & I'll update ya.

I still remember the response I get from a friend who asked me the question just last year.. When I said no because I am not ready... or heck, can't remember what answer I gave.. He replied "Bullshit!". LOL!!! That was seriously funny!

Days of rest

I spent the past 3 days, most of the time at home.

Sat I went exercise in the morning @ Kiara Park, from 8.15am - 9.15am. Came back and stayed home the whole day.
Sun was out for church activities from 9am - 4pm, and then spent the evening till night at home.
Mon whole day until evening, I was home!

I am getting the feel of Adelaide environment, whereby at night, you totally have nothing to do. No night life there unless I go to the bar or go for clubbing.

The past 3 days I got to just rested & chilled. I got to watch 2 DVD movies each day, at home!!! Woohoo!!! I got to organize my files in my comp, reorganize all my music CDs in my room & also pack for THE TRIP.

I think my parents were really surprised that I didn't have any plans during the weekends & I was actually at home, the last few days. Even when some of my friends called and asked where I am & what was I doing, I responded "at home-la... watching TV". There was silence for a moment there. I could sense that they were kinda surprised. If I'm not mistaken, one or two even asked "oh, not going out meh/no plans?"

How am I gonna survive Adelaide if I can't survive being alone even here???
I think I did okay the past few days. I gotta admit, it was pretty boring and usually I get calls to hang out for makan or what-so-ever. In addition, it got me thinking of certain memories.. sad + happy. You know when you have nothing to do, your mind will wonder off!!! -_-

However, I am grateful as well that I had those days off. It really helped me rest physically, mentally & emotionally. I think my sickness got better because I had more rest & I took more steps to take care of it. Also, even though thinking & reflecting isn't really my favorite past time, 'cuz sometimes it can be depressing, but it helps to deal with 'reality' & understand my own current state/wellbeing now. As for the mental part, I didn't have to think or stress myself out, planning events for my ministries or worry about my schedule for the week. At last!!!! XD

Staying at home with my parents, without my brother, wasn't as bad as I thought it would be as well. I was so afraid of getting nagged everyday but so far, it has been good. I try to be at home at night when they are in, spend time with them during dinner, try to pick up more responsibilities at home & help whatever I can in whatever they need.

I miss my bro! :( My friends noticed that the house has been really quiet since he left.
Last Sat I smsed him, and this was one of his replied...
"... everything ok here. Be good ah at home! Don't susahkan mum and pa".

LOL! Wanna kena smack ni! :) He never fails to humor us, even when he is not around.

Elizabeth is my name

Got this from a key chain my bud gave me from Aussie-land :) Thanks bro!

ELIZABETH
Meaning: Consecrated to God
Origin: French

Description:
One devoted to all she meets, being a model to the community for how she loves her family and friends, hardworking and charitable, giving her all, loves to excel, knowing she is doing her best and feeling a special glow from it, watch your hearts, for she'll take them every time and not even know it.

I laughed at the last line!!! Pretty interesting, huh? I wonder, do I "live up" to my name? *think*
What say you? :)

Am I Ready?

Well, I've gotten like 90-95% of my things already for the trip.
I've packed up about 65% of my stuff into the bag, including some clothes that I know I won't need for now - winter clothings & long sleeves.

It's scary to see the amount of things I am bringing -_- I don't know whether I can fit all in...
I'll be carrying like 2 medium size bag, 1 cabin size bag & bag pack with me.
I have decided not to bring my guitar along (although it was bought purposely for the trip. Sad!)

I am wondering how the heck am I gonna fit my shoes into the bags now.
I still have certain books and stationaries to pack in.
Clothes bag no prob & I don't bring lotsa make-up stuff or accessories (like how often do you actually see me wear them ler, rite?)

Sigh... How do I feel about all this?
There is this small bit of me that is excited. Then again, I won't lie to you that I do feel depressed from time to time. I don't think it's PMS -_-

It's sooo funny when I recieve MSN msgs from like one of my 'di' that says, "DON'T GO LAAA", from time to time. Awwww *hugz* I'm so gonna miss ya all so much!

I'm only gonna be there for a year. No BIG deal, rite? :( If it isn't a big deal, why am I feeling so depressed? SHUCKS!!!! Get over it, gal!!!

Many people told me that it'll be an adventure. I get advises like "Just go and enjoy yourself there. It's one hell of an experience. You'll do alright there (though I don't really know how to cook yet)". However, leaving behind people & things kinda sucks. I guess this is what they meant by "getting out of your comfort zone".

So, am I ready? Nope. Do I wanna leave? Yea, part of me really wants to leave. To leave my past here and start anew... a new beginning there as I have so many things I can learn there, gain new perspective about life, and hope that life would be better as I fix my eyes on Him, look forward & press on. However, I don't think I can ever forget what I left here...