2007

The year have taught me about...

Friendships
Different seasons, I had different close trusted friends. Making new friends and choosing the people you wanna be close with. Also, allowing God to move in the friendship and trust that it can work out. Other people can say lots about your friendship with another, but at the end of the day, the definition and decision on the matters of friendship is yours. Friend who was willing to go a mile for me... genuine friendship (with a brother in Christ) that I haven't quite experienced before. Sisters who are there through my thick and thins... whom I can share my life experiences with.

Not to forget, friendships which crushed my heart into pieces too, filled it with disappointments and anger. Friendships which sometimes needed to be initiated, to be pushed. Friendships in which you wonder whether it'll still run when initiation had stopped. Some did stop until you're suddenly remembered or not heard from for months. Friends whom assume the person you are without really knowing you. Friends who betrayed my trust. Friendships that were close but are no longer. Friendships which became awkward instead.

There is a need for balance in friendships.

A friendship extended to another, can make a difference in ways no one could ever know.


Relationships
Shouldn't be rushed. Knowing the person is essential. Having a close group of friends who can keep you accountable. Listening to what your friends have to say about the person. They do know better most of the time. When you're supposed to wait... pls WAIT!!! Do put it on hold. Be patient. A rushed relationship is temporary... Feelings can come easily but it takes both individuals' effort to make it work. Maturity is needed to handle a relationship. It is not only critical to consider spiritual compatibility... but also mental compatibility. One may aim for marriage in a relationship, but one does not need to be too focused on it. Sometimes relationship doesn't work out... IT'S OK if it doesn't. Commitment is not a feeling. It's a choice... Love is too.

True love waits.


Letting go
I don't have to keep starting anew. I can cont from where I am and try to make it right by learning from mistakes and moving forward - focused on what is ahead. Restarting my life in a different place, doesn't quite make it. Leaving what is behind is the solution for the ability to look what is ahead of you. Never keep ruminating about the past. Leave the past behind... or you'll be too blinded to see what is ahead, too dysfunctional to live, and too stunted to grow or move on.

Holding and focusing too much on one's successes and ol' glorious days can be prevent one from moving forward as well. What used to be good, can be better.. It doesn't have to be worst.

It's like a scar. When you look at it now, it doesn't hurt as before when there was a wound there. Evidently it is still there to serve as a reminder, to not make the same mistakes that caused the scar again.


Myself
It's ok to respond differently in different circumstances, but it is better to be consistent. It is ok to be angry or disappointed from expectations. It is ok not to smile all the time. I got lost trying to find for my identity - broke rules, broke boundaries, broke standards, broke integrity. One doesn't have to compromise one's values and beliefs to relate to another. It is always hard trying to mix with people who are different than you. The different characters in oneself, makes one unique - even so as weaknesses are included. Understanding my limits and how much I can push the limits. Humility becomes harder to possess in age.

How do you know if you're yourself? The peace upon the person you are now.

Sometimes, the only person who limits you from becoming your best, is YOURSELF.


His unconditional LOVE
A constant reminder that He still loves me from different people in my life. His love that could wash away my brokenness and hurts. His love that accepts me for who I am, even when I'm in the deepest lowest pit. Even when I ran away, He kept looking for His lost child, waiting for the child to be come back. His patience to endure my nonsense. His love that carries me.. and help me to forgive. His love that made a difference once upon a time, and can still make a difference in my life and other ppl's lives too. His love that can be seen through others.

He chose to love me still.