Waiting for a miracle...

I just rededicated my life last Sunday in ACTS church. It was wierd.. I didn't see myself as backslided Christian or anything.. Perhaps, I didn't wanna admit or didn't wanna acknowledge it. Don't get me wrong. It's not that I don't believe in God and Jesus as my Savior or stop having that faith. But I know that I needed something more in life than what I am currently living. I lost the joy in doing the things in my ministry, in studies and seem like almost everything.. life itself. The life inside of me was like... DEAD. Get what I mean?

I need to be excited in my faith, once again. To be excited to want to truly know Him. I lost all those desires. I kinda lost hope in myself in other sense. Perhaps, I stop trusting that He could do anything for me, since I do not seem to be doing anything for myself. Things always seem to be the same... you have that fire in ya burning so passionately and brightly one day, and the next thing you know it's gone. I don't want that in my life anymore. So, tired of going through the same routine.

I need to have more in my life than just a flickering fire within me. I need to have more than what I think there is out there. I need more hope in my life. I need the JOY in me once again. I need a CHANGE in my life... People say, they can see change in themselves and others can see it to when they have Christ in them and they can see Holy Spirit in work. I want that!!! I want to see a change in my perspective, in my heart to desire & be commited to Him and a change in my behavior to be a better person.

I need to believe for myself that there is still hope, that I once used to believe.
I need to know that I am His precious child, that He still loves me & hears my cry.

I waiting for a miracle in my life... I want more than what I am at now...
There's gotta be more in life & a meaning to live.

"God, please send a miracle, open my eyes, ears & heart & help me believe"