Will I Ever Shed A Tear?

Life has been good here. I've been out, visiting places & meeting people. As I mentioned before, I love the environment here as well.

Hmmm... the thing is I have this great mixed feelings in my heart.
You see, my friends has cried or at least shed some tears when they were here as they remember the memories they had with their families, friends & everything back home. They were missing home really badly.

To tell ya the truth, I didn't shed any tear when I was here, even when I remember the memorable times I had with friends or family back in M'sia. I remembered, then I smile smile. I do miss them very much, but I've never shed a tear. Even before I left, I didn't shed a tear!!! I admitted I did cry the nite before, but it wasn't because I was leaving to Aus >_< Wierd! I myself, am surprised with my own reaction ok? I expected myself to cryyy before I board the plane and tngs like that, but oh well... it turned out opposite, didn't it? :)

Is there something wrong with me, I often wonder. Aiyoh!!! Am I repressing my feelings? My friends ask got cry a not when my parents left here. I answered "No woh... like nuthin' like dat. My parents sent me to friend's house even before they left. They worry about me more ler". I miss them, but it's not anything strong that would stir me up to cry or anything like that ya know!

Haha funny part when I was back home... My CG members tried to make me cry on the last day I leave as they surprised me when a BIG bunch of them came over, spent time with me, sang a song for me *awww* & sent me off. I felt touched, but I was soooo excited about the trip & that they were there, that I just didn't la! *haha* Sorry la!

Oh.. PreU farewell for me was awesome as well. I was really moved & touched. However I didn't really cry. You know the feeling when you 'laugh until you cry' or smile until ur side or ur eyes felt a lil damp. I think that happened to me when Dex+WeKi played the song for me as well as all the testimonies was on. That wasn't exactly tearing but well, that was the least I could do. LOL!!!

Haihz... so wierddd... I miss home + people there... Am I not missing them enough to shed any tears? I am happy here though. This place is pretty happening (well for me... cuz I still get to go out like almost every day for now: holiday-mah!). I feel pretty chillin' ni. Maybe chill a bit too much di.

The peeps I miss so so somuch currently are...

FLARE!!!
Makes me miss them so much because they are the ones whom I've been in touch with & frequently being in contact with - whether thru emails or calls. They are the ones who actually responds to my emails, even if I was just spamming them!!! I love you guys+gals! I wanna join ya all for outings too :( *Jealous that I can't be in the Starbucks pic!* hmph *

Family!!!
I chat with my mum pretty often (almost every nite, if I see her online) to update what has been going on. It's pretty funny that after 2 days they came back to M'sia & them not seeing me online, worried them already! I got email + sms from them liao, tellin' me they are worried!! Don't play play! LOL!!! And I'm just here chilling ni! So, I thought I better chat with them more regularly. And... My brother is back from NS for a week!!! Awesome-ness!!! XD

I miss everyone else too, but these are the peeps who are dwelling in my mind currently, simply because I still feel the closeness as they are still responding to me, yet I feel a bit torn apart since I'm so far from them (distance count, ok). Also, lots of memories with the different individuals in the team. I am rest assured that I am still part of their lives, as they are a part of my life as well. If they ever try to forget me, I'll chop them when I come back & join other ministries!!! Muahaha!!!! Aiyah, don't come back will be easier la!!! LOL!

My dear CG members, if any of you are reading this... update me la on your lives over yahoogroup!!! I sent email but no one reply oneee :( so sad!!! *tsk tsk*

I though of an answer to my question above:
Perhaps I don't feel the need the cry because I know that I am not alone here, although I do feel lonely at times. I am blessed to have the few ppl I know here, friends from back home that supported + guided me thru Aus-land & takes care of me. I am also meeting more & more awesome ppl.

Maybe that is one of the reasons-ler. Also, I 've experienced so many tngs I haven't back in M'sia. So the excitement is still here. Wait till months time.. see whether I will cry a not. LOL!! Maybe because of research assignments, I will XD

Tata for now!