Post-trip

After I came back from the trip.. I was unwell for a couple of days... yes again.
Hahaha.. others reckon that I had too much fun in Gold Coast, that's why.

During the trip: BAD case of phlegm & soarthroat
After the trip: BAD case of dizziness, nausea, phlegm, cough. Just feeling all weak.

I'm alright now :) better already! Ate more red meat and cooked proper food!

Now.. WORK WORK WORK.. :(
Not my favourite word.. but hey.. can't do much about it, unless I plan to scrap the whole sem and retake... which is so not advisable.

Lots of reports to be done. I am taking it a week, a day, an hour at a time. LOL!

Don't expect to see me so free anymore after this..

After assignments and exams...
MELBOURNE here I come XD... WOOHOO!! OCF Convention 2007 & hanging out with my bestfriend and big bro there! Coolness! Can't wait.\

Then comes graduation if I can grad in Dec instead of March. Back to Adelaide and then back to M'sia for summer vacation.

hahaha! I am so much more adventurous now compared to last time, right? :)
Yes, I can hear some ppl whispering "crazinesss..." behind me..

Adventure in Gold Coast + Brisbane

I came back already! From Gold Coast or rather Brisbane :P

Had heaps of fun there. I wish that I can be there longer or some sort.
I enjoyed every moment there.. except when I had bad soar throat, phlegm and when I was unwell.
Why la during trips I fall sick? *sigh*

Anyway, hahaha lots of funny stories to tell!!! XD So excited!!!

We did lots of shopping!!! I bought clothes which people don't usually see me wear or won't believe that I'll wear.. Change of style ;) FINALLY!!! Hahahah!!! XD

Then then... I went ballistic in Movie World when I saw my lil BABIES!!! The looney tunes cartoon kids character soft toys!!! Bugs Bunny, Daffy Duck, Tazmanian Devil, Tweety Bird and PussyCat! WAH!!! *HUGZ tightly* Ok.. lots of ppl won't understand my facination for soft toys... I don't quite understand too.. but I grew up with them.. Hey, they are not only for myself.. it's for my children and grandchildren too :D My BABIESS!!!! I bought Sponge Bob soft toy from Dream World. HAHAHAH!!!

Yes, obviously we went to the themeparks... Dream World, Wet 'n' Wild & Movie World!
It was AWESOME! The rides were SCARY!!! Your heart can practically jump out from your throat or smtng. But it is FUN!!! :P that you'll go for some of the rides twice. Thrilling ;) I love Wet n wild rides. It's not as scary as roller coasters.. it's just so amazing! At first, I didn't plan to go for it because something came up, when I prayed soooo harddd that it would be delayed. hahah maybe some of you may have guessed what it is. Gals would know. Thank God that although it came, it wasn't much.. and I could still sit for some of the wet rides and enjoy myself!!! WAH! Oh oh.. we had 4 free tix for Dream world from my friend's friend (Shelley's friend - Theodore. Thanks MAN!). Amazing huh?! Expensive u know tix for each of these themeparks!!!

I love Gold Coast.. esp when it is at night, and when the city lights shine. Surfers Paradise is a perfect place to hang out during the night time!!! Beautiful!! Beside the beach.. the shops open.. awesome smell from restaurants... wah! There was a night market when we visited last Wed.

What else? Harbour Town there was WAY BIGGER than the one here. Lots of shop!!! Heaps of shopping to be done! I did get most of my clothes from there :) We went to Queens St as well. I'ts WAY bigger than rundle mall! It's like x5 of rundle street. LOL!

We went to visit University of Queensland! WAH TOO MUCH LAAA THIS UNI!!! No wonder it's super expensive. Their facilities - sports (eg. 5+ tennis court, 3 football fields... got more ok), each dept had a library, each department had their own building (eg. E&E Engineering, Mechanical, Mega Engineering, each had their own buildings), they have like a lil flea market in their uni!!! They have pharmacy, dentistary, clinics, gift shops, few food stalls... MY GOSH!!! EVERYTHING YOU CAN IMAGINE IS THERE. Like a lil town there.. maybe not lil.. BIG town of it's own. Everything there looks amazingly big and grand. My my my... that was the uni I almost went into! They have ferry transportation from city to uni and vice versa.. bus stations in the uni itself *pengsan*

oh oh.. The last night, we were heading to the airport... We were so glad that we were reaching.. We turned to the road that we thought would lead us to the airport... Lo and behold, further down the road after the turning, we saw a sign "WELCOME TO NEW SOUTH WALES". Our eyes were like O_O!!!!! WAH!!!!!!! We entered into another state!!!!! LOL!!! Yes yes, we were lost :P When we finally found our way and reached the airport, we were too late. However, thanK God that for awesome ppl who helped us... and got us a cheaper rate tix to return to Adelaide the next morning. Lots of drama happened la during that time.. but all went well.

It certainly was an adventure. We went for a lil window shopping after the drama/trauma of missing our flight, went to enjoy 'Hairspray' movie there and drove to Brisbane airport for our next flight. We slept in the airport until it was time :) Exciting huh? LOL!!

It is such an unforgettable trip. Seriously!! I will keep that movie tix forever to be reminded of our flight. LOL! We should have taken a pic of that signboard when we took that turning! Most of us were stressed during the situation.. but I think when we think about it again now, we'll laugh our heads off.

Yeah.. that certainly was an adventure :) I know it's hard to imagine it all through words that I've used to describe. I'll put on pics, hopefully soon (after collecting all pics from others as well) so that you guys will get a better pic of all the adventure that week.

Music Fun Tag

The rules laid out are:
1. Put your iTunes, Windows Media Player, etc. on Shuffle mode.
2. For each question, press the next button to get your answer.
3. YOU MUST WRITE THAT SONG NAME DOWN NO MATTER HOW SILLY IT SOUNDS.
4. Write any comments you have after the song name.
5. Tag everyone who’s linked to your blog (those reading this entry included too!) and get them to tell you when they’ve done theirs, so you can both laugh at each other’s “misfortunes” or “coincidences”! =D

If someone says "is this okay?" you say?
The distance by Ewan Lowenstein - Serendepity Soundtrack
O_o doesn't make sense

How would you describe yourself?he
Paint the Silence by South
Erm.. yeah.. silence is virtue :P I am quite a quiet person.

What do you like in a guy/girl?
Wave Goodbye - Simon Steadman - Smallville Soundtrack
I DON"T Like goodbyes >.< That's what I don't like.. LOL! Not what I like..

How do you feel today?
Feelin' myself - Dolla - Step Up Soundtrack
Sounds so wrong O_o

What is your life's purpose?
Friend's Forever - Gilmore Girls Soundtrack
Bwhaha.. my life purpose is to make more friends??? hahaha! Yea, to expand His kingdom XD

What is your motto?
To Make You Feel My Love - A Cinderella Story Soundtrack
Sounds forceful...

What do your friends think of you?
Breakthrough - The Cheetah Girls

What do you think of your parents?
The Way We Get By - The OC Soundtrack
haha yeah.. the way we get by punishments :P cheeky!

What do you think about very often?
Half-life - Duncan Sheik - What a Girl Wants Soundtrack
Hmmm pretty true.. most of the time I spend my time thinking how much live my life... which is pretty much.. half alive, half lifeless.

What do you think of your best friend?
His eyes is on the sparrow - Cece Winans - Sister Act 2 Soundtrack
I know He is taking care of her.. as He takes care of the sparrows :) She is like a sparrow too!

What do you think of the person you like?
For The Love - Step Up Soundtrack

Hahah for love, he'll do anything? :P *creepy*

What is your life story?
I'mma Shine - Step Up Soundtrack
I'm supposed to shine ;) Shine His light!

What do you want to be when you grow up?
Diamonds are a girl's best friend - Nicole Kidman - Moulin Rouge Soundtrack
haha be someone's wife... get a diamond ring! have a family!! XD

What do you think of when you see the person you like?
Couldv'e been - Mandy Moore - Walk to remember Soundtrack
Sigh.. why la remind me... "could have been so beautiful.... could have been so right... could have been my lover... I'll never want could have been.. in a cold and lonely night". Only the could have beens... but never achieved it.. LOL!

What will they play at your funeral?
Fake Your Way to the Top - DreamGirls Soundtrack
I don't wanna be labelled as fakeeeee when i dieee... >.<

What is your hobby/interest?
Shakespear in Love - Layla Kaylif
Awww... finding for my love... dreaming of my prince charming.

What is your biggest fear?
Good Life - Leslie Mills - What a Girl Wants Soundtrack
Why laaa... I love having a good life.. Maybe not too good.. then, I'll get to comfortable.

What is your biggest secret?
It's All Over - DreamGirl Soundtrack
Secrets all over the place... all over my mind... *lol*

What do you think of your friends?
Don't Write Me Off - Hugh Grant - Music and Lyrics Soundtrack
esp when I've changed.

Another trip?

I'm going to Gold Coast for 6 days holiday during term break! :)
*hahahaha*
Then, I have to bury myself under loads of assignments. Will be MIA for a month or so, ok?
I will still update my blog, no worries. I still need a life XD

GOLD COAST here I COME!!! THIS Saturday!!!! YEAH!!! Can't wait!

1 and half more essay to be doneee before Saturday! LOL!!

Brooke Fraser + Switchfoot Concert

Brooke Fraser
So sweet, humble, down-to-earth, funny, cute/adorable & relational (she talks to her audience well). Her songs were awesome!

Double date? Hmmm... *hahaha*

Mel + Sam

Liz + BX

It started off with a instrumental hymn song.

Finally, after an hour of waiting for her.. before that someone else performed. It was alright!

Her guitar playing is awesome! She switches guitar between songs... SO many!!! Can't remember the names of her guitars! She mentioned before XP

Passion!!!

Yes, she plays the piano too! "Aritmetic"!! My fav song :)

See the umbrella's at the background? Cool eh?

We felt as if we just came out from a worship concert instead of a secular concert! Awesome night!!!


The week after that....

Switchfoot @ Paradise Community Church
I know.. can't see their faces right. Me too. I was blocked by heaps of people. Well, thank God they have the screen!!! XD


Only knew a few songs - "Oh Gravity!", "Meant to Live", "Learning to Breathe" & "Dare You to Move"!! When they sang those songs... I lifted the lyrics to God & worship Him.

We waited for about 2 hrs for them to come out. Youth Alive presented first, then there were these New Yorkian Hip Hop peeps who danced their heart out... then worship again by Youth Alive. Michale Guglimucci was there to give a really short testimony and I think there was another preacher who spoke for quite a bit as well.

Wait.. it's not over yet... last but not least...

Autograph session. I didn't get any of their signatures (not my thing!) but my friends did :)

The cool T-Shirt I bought as a sovenier from the concert!

Love the logo!!! Awesome pics of the musical instruments. Always wanted a Tshirt like that. Too bad the shirt is kinda BIG for me. Guys size.. but still can wear-la!

OCF E-Nite 2007 (Part I : Performances)

Overseas Christian Fellowship presents Evangelistic Night in University of Adelaide.

2 Skits and a dance!

Make-up time
Guess whooo???!!! *hehe* It's our dear JERRY!!!

Angels vs. evil spirits

The Dance

Dance using 'Step Up' song - Evil in black (danced hip hop) vs. angels in white (danced ballet).
Human in red top (tried to follow both steps... which will she choose to follow? Confused!)

Skit 1 : Who's the champion?

Jesus at the middle (played by Justin).. The 3 dancing angels by his side... The devil and his followers hated His light.

A battle is about to begin between the Son of Man (played by Justin) & the devil (played by Nesta). The Father God (played by Bryan) is the judge of the competition.

The Son of Man was winning but after many days of battle, He was struck by the devil... The devil shouted in victory. The Father in Heaven cried and turned His face away as He saw His son losing... and finally, it seemed as if He has lost the battle.

But wait a min, His fingers were twitched... His body is moving... What is happening??? The devil got afraid...

3 days after His death, He was rose up from the dead!!! TRUE VICTORY!!! Jesus won the battle for us humankind... broke the power/bondage of sin on our lives!!!

Skit 2: Lifehouse "Everything"
This skit is from taken and adapted from godtube.com

1st Link: http://www.godtube.com/view_video.php?viewkey=d14827b8c55d8411d821





2ndt Link: http://www.godtube.com/view_video.php?viewkey=ee73e63418003b47d7d5

Danny played as Jesus in the 2nd skit.

OCF E-Nite 2007 (Part II: Worship Team + Candids)

to be cont...

Worship Team for the night, led by Melissa.
Musicians: Aaron (drummer), Moses (pianist), Handy (Bass) + Xiao Xiao (Guitarist)
Backup Singers: Samuel, James, Jezamine + Liz

Dress code: Just me, looking like an anime, wearing a red blouse/top with white collar, and black blazer, black slacks and black boots. Don't I look professional? XP Suddenly my head looks extra BIG!

Candid shots of the casts/Group pics

That's all folks! XD

This I promise you...

It's as if I've been chopped into pieces and glue won't be strong enough to put me together again.
It's as if, I've been in a washing machine, tossed and turned inside... crippled & wrinkled like after-washed-clothes.
It's as if I've been pushed into a slimy pit a million times... bruised from all the falls I had.
It's as if I've been in coma for few weeks, months and never to be woken up again.
It's as if I've been pierced thru' by swords and daggers so many times.. that I can't feel anymore stabs that comes my way again.
It's as if I've drowned in my own tears... and have no energy to float above it any longer.
It's as if I've crashed a few times... in the same accidents..
It's as if I've been lost in the wilderness and not to be found.

But you know what... this I promise you...
I'll be strong... I'll stand up again... I'll lift my head up to the One who is above all these things... I'll find my confidence in living again... and I'll search for the faith, passion and love that once I've experience. I may crash and burn, but I'll keep pressing on towards the goal, the One that is eternal and knows my destiny, my purpose, my name...

I will.. NOT give up!

As much as I would love to do this myself... I think I need some help here... LOL! :)

Something new each day

Am I really progressing or am I just kidding myself?

Seems as if things are becoming better... getting to the right track (I hope!)... But many things are still bugging me.

Questions to ponder...

• What happened to the shy yet sociable gal?
• Why is she always so tired? Where did all the energy channel out to?
• What happened to her listening skills?
• What happened to her smiles?
• How much really have she grown spiritually, mentally and physically?
• Why does she always distracted with so many other things in her mind?
• What happened to the motivated girl? the one who wants to do her best in all the things she do?
• What happened to the fire within and the passion?

Questions after questions... after questions.. after more questions... *sigh*

I've been looking back so often and wondering what happened to those 'golden days' of my life.. that I neglect the idea of looking ahead.. maybe I'm just stuck. Very stuck...

Anyway... God makes things new each and everyday for us. I remember my friends, parents, pastors' msgs reminded me again and again not to look back anymore.. Look ahead.. look at the new things that God will do in my life. Look at the new promises ahead of me. The new joy, the new peace.. The new better person that God can make me to be. God gives us mercy anew each day.. He gives us new days! So, why am I still looking back to my 'golden days'? Why do I desire for those times...?

"Look ahead, my dear.. Look forward.. Don't look behind anymore.."

I keep giving myself the same advice over and over again. Make sure that it is written in my heart.

I have to believe it myself and hold unto the promise that..."God is going to do something new in my life", IF I let Him to do so.

How much longer?

I HATE going to classes...
I HATE going to uni...

I CAN'T concentrate in class...
I CAN'T understand what the lecture is talking about on the subject, although they speak in a language I understand...
I CAN'T catch up in my lectures...

I DON'T have the freakin motivation to cont going for classes anymore...
I DON'T have the motivation to even keep breathing and living sometimes.

I just wanna sleep all day long for a month or so...
*feeling frustrated* >.<
*mentally stressed*

Pls for give my outburst.

Colorgenics

What kinda quiz is this??? O_o Kinda scary... because it seem kinda accurate. Plus, the quiz only asked me for the colors I feel peaceful with in order. WEIRD!!!

Those who wanna try... http://www.paulgoldin.com/colorgenics.htm


My profile

You are constantly hoping that your good fellowship and attitude and your 'love for your fellow man (or women)' will give you peace of mind. You need people - people around you to care for you and to show you that they care. It is this hope that keeps you going, the hope that makes you the type of person that indeed you are. Your own need for approval seemingly makes you always ready to help others and in exchange you seek love, warmth and understanding. You will always listen to others and you are open to new ideas which hopefully will prove fruitful and interesting.

You are working extremely hard trying to improve your image in the eyes of others. You are looking for acknowledgement from your peers and those who come into your sphere of influence. You want to be liked, not for what people think of you but for what you really are.

The situation at this time is one of considerable distress. You feel trapped and you are looking for some way out. You can find solace in the arms of someone who cares so long as there is no long-term emotional involvement.

You are being unduly influenced by the situation that is all around you. You do not like the feeling of loneliness and whatever it is that seems to separate you from others. You know that life can be wonderful and you are anxious to experience life in all its aspects, to live it to the full. You therefore resent any restriction or limitations that are being imposed on you and you insist on going it alone.

You are anxious about all the limitations to which you are subjected to at this time. You feel that you are not valued for what or who you are. You need OUT. So why procrastinate any longer - MOVE!

Reflecting from a movie

"I know you two went through a lot.. but.. so much have happened.. sometimes as hard as it is, you have to let go" by Martha Kent - Smallville Season 6, Episode 19.

This was Martha's response when Clark expressed his heartache about his friendship with Lex. He saw a glimpse of a friend in him, that he hasn't seen since years ago, when Lex actually came back to safe him (Initially, he thought that Lex would have abandoned him in the tunnel). Also, he's expression changed when Lex told him that Clark was the only only true friend he had once upon a time. Clark wondered whether it was because he has given up on Lex too soon, that had Lex changed into the person he is now.

Martha Kent replied:
"You'll never give up on anyone, Clark... because your greatest strength, may also be your greatest weakness - your hope"
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Interesting eh? The stuff you can get out from movies... I love picking up quotes or certain meaningful conversations from movies/series.
I reflected upon my past and find it really hard to let go of the fact that... sometimes, so many things happened already (whether expected or unexpected), people change even I did, and some decisions influence your future and others around you... and there is nothing you can do to make things be the way it used to be.

I spent most of my time regretting over the things that happened... and wondered whether there's gonna be more similar regrets as these. But now... I just want to let go and move on. Mum was right... just let go of all my worries as well as my past hurts/disappointments.

I am reminded of my own season once again:
Ecc 3:5

(NIV)
a time to search and a time to give up,
a time to keep and a time to throw away.

(NLT)
a time to search and a time to quit searching,
a time to keep and a time to throw away.

(NKJV)
A time to gain, and a time to lose;
A time to keep, and a time to throw away.

Critical Spirit vs. Caring Spirit

ONE:
A Critical Spirit: Condemns the person as well as the action
A Caring Spirit: Condemns the action not the person "Reckless words pierce like a sword, but the tongue of the wise brings healing."? (Proverbs 12:18)

TWO:
A Critical Spirit: Focuses on the faults of others
A Caring Spirit: Focuses on self-examination "Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother's eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye?" (Luke 6:41)

THREE:
A Critical Spirit: Ridicules others
A Caring Spirit: Refrains from ridiculing others "A man who lacks judgment derides his neighbor, but a man of understanding holds his tongue." (Proverbs 11:12)

FOUR:
A Critical Spirit: Makes judgments based on appearances
A Caring Spirit: Makes judgments based on the right facts "Stop judging by mere appearances, and make a right judgment." (John 7:24)

FIVE:
A Critical Spirit: Assumes the worst without first hearing from the accused
A Caring Spirit: Assumes the best while waiting to hear from the accused "Does our law condemn anyone without first hearing him to find out what he is doing?" (John 7:51)

SIX:
A Critical Spirit: Tears others down without seeing the unmet needs
A Caring Spirit: Builds others up according to their the needs "Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen." (Ephesians 4:29)

SEVEN:
A Critical Spirit: Confronts others publicly
A Caring Spirit: Confronts others privately "If your brother sins against you, go and show him his fault, just between the two of you. If he listens to you, you have won your brother over." (Matthew 18:15)

EIGHT:
A Critical Spirit: Responds harshly when accused by others
A Caring Spirit: Responds appreciatively without quarreling when others give advice "Pride only breeds quarrels, but wisdom is found in those who take advice." (Proverbs 13:10)

NINE:
A Critical Spirit: Lacks mercy toward others
A Caring Spirit: Responds with mercy toward others "Speak and act as those who are going to be judged by the law that gives freedom, because judgment without mercy will be shown to anyone who has not been merciful. Mercy triumphs over judgment!" (James 2:12-13)


Closing Quote: "People don't care how much you know, until they know how much you care." Unknown

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I took this from my ex-CG member's blog. Thanks George for the post. It's amazing to see someone you've known grown so much :)

Anyway, as I reflected upon this post... I kinda understand why some people do not quite understand certain things about me... like why do I keep forgiving, or why do I mix around with certain people when they don't quite deserve it... why do I always give people second chances, or why do I let others hurt me so easily with their words or what they do? Why do I still sit there and wait, when someone pushes me away? Sometimes I don't quite understand it myself. LOL!

On the other hand, I would wonder, why are others often critical about one another? This even includes brothers and sisters in Christ or the church... Why can't there be second chances when I've been given so many second chances by God and demonstrated by others? Why shouldn't I mix around who might be misunderstood? You won't know they are misunderstood until you really know them. Why shouldn't I mix around with people who have a critical spirit within them? When you can see something more in them that they are now. Why shouldn't I wait... when I know... there is still hope.

Yeah, I get hurt from time to time with the things they say, the things they do... but I'm called by God to have a caring heart... and sometimes I wish that nothing can change that within me. I think nothing would have changed, if I hold steadfast on God's love for me and I truly understand His heart for me and others around me.

However, I feel as if I am slipping through His arms... I feel as if I'm slowly losing my caring spirit and have become more critical about things, people and most often, God. Sometimes it is so so hard to let go of the words said and the things that others have done that have hurt me. It is painful! And not being able to quite express truly what I think or feel about it, makes it worst sometimes. I just need to be more assertive (in the right way), to have wisdom & discernment when I relate with others and also, to do it with His strength & His love, through His perspective, His eyes instead of mine... cuz I am just so so tired now.


"Lord, please help us to have a caring spirit instead of a critical spirit for one another... especially those who are in the body of Christ. We need Your love to teach us on how to treat others with respect and love, instead of our own understanding of it and of others. Only You can change our perspective about people, our preconceived ideas about them.. and help us to not judge others. Help us to look at our own faults first before we look into the faults of others. Give us the strength when we grow weary of having a caring heart for others. Give us the patience when we deal with others 'cuz I know that You know how frustrating it can be :) I know You get frust of us too, because of the silly things we do at times or most of the time. hehe. Teach and cultivate in us a caring spirit. Open our eyes, and let us look it through Your eyes. Let us maintain this spirit in our lives as we grow to love You and one another. Jesus Name, Amen"

Arithmetic

I've been staring at the sky tonight
Marvelling and passing time
Wondering what to do with daylight
Until I can make You mine
You are the one I want, You are the one I want

I've been thinking of changing my mind
(It never stays the same for long)
But of all the things I know for sure
You're the only certain one
You are the one I want, You are the one I want

I've been counting up all my wrongs
One sorry for each star
See I'd apologise my way to you
If the heavens stretched that far
You are the one I want, You are the one I want

I won't find what I am looking for
If I only "see" by keeping score
'Cos I know now You are so much more than arithmetic

'Cos if I add, if I subtract
If I give it all, try to take some back
I've forgotten the freedom that comes from the fact
That you are the sum
So You are the one
I want

When the years are showing on my face
And my strongest days are gone
When my heart and flesh depart this place
From a life that sung Your song

You'll still be the one I want
You'll still be the one I want
You'll still be the one I want
You'll still be the one I want

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This songs ties in nicely with both the posts today. Enjoy as you listen it 'autoplay' in my blog.

"There is Nothing Wrong with You..."

I was just thinking about how much I accept who I am now...

I remember the echoes of my mum reaffirming me on MSN, just weeks ago... I could still hear her now, as I remember bits and pieces of what she said to me the other day- "There is nothing wrong with you... God has made you who you are... You must not let others affect you so much... Don't be tied down by worries-la..."

"Hmm... Nothing wrong with me, huh? I really hope so... Things have been really crazy these days and sometimes I can't help but to think that certain things happen because perhaps of me. I am not patient enough or I am overly sensitive.. or I am not this enough... that enough.. I need to work on this.. and that.. and I can't blame the other person for doing this, since I am bla bla bla... I also have troubles with this and that... Maybe if I was better in handling people.. or maybe if I talked more.. if I smile more... if I... if I.. if I... then others would accept me better and I'll be a happier person... bla bla bla..." and it never ends. Get how crazy my thoughts are? It gets on my nerves too sometimes.

As I opened up my devotional bible for women (New Living Translation Version), this page caught my eyes. Let me share it with you...

Just The Way You Are Acceptance, Spiritual Growth, Family
"The Lord has declared today that you are His people, His own special treasure, just as He promised, and that You must obey all His commands" Deuteronomy 26:18

God's people tend to suffer a lot of false guilt over sins they have already confessed and received forgiveness for. The big ones and the minor ones. Even attitudes. We long to live lives that are beyond reproach. We want to be perfect parents, perfect children, perfect friends, perfect Christians, perfect people. But we are not always empathic and forgiving. We have trouble demonstrating unconditional love. We are not always kind. Sometimes we even have temper tantrums. And sometimes we are blanketed by depression.

Why do we have all these struggle? Why is it so difficult for us to see ourselves as God sees us- on the one hand, sinners who cannot be good enough to please him; on the other hand, his beloved children, forgiven and restored? One reason, as we've discovered, is that we're preoccupied with the opinions of other people rather than with God's. We've adopted this world's standards, forgetting all that the Father has to say about us.

But as we begin to recognize and accept our standing in God's value system, we can be free from the struggle for self-esteem, the maneuvers to bolster our egos, the fight for our place in pecking order. Freedom will come when our views of ourselves don't depend on the looks, physique or intelligence we inherited, the family we were born into the size of our bank account, or even how others treat us. A general principle is: When you feel comfortable about yourself, about who you are and what you have, you can direct your focus away from yourself and towards others.

- Norma Kvindlog & Esther Lindgren Anderson
From Beyond Me (Carol Strem, III: Tyndale, 1987), 213-14

Taken from "Sanctuary: A Devotional Bible for women (NLT)"


A timely message. A perfect reminder for me. Thank you God for speaking into my situations again.

Different People during Different Seasons

I realized that I get close to different people during different seasons this year.
I had different cliques during different seasons.
Different close circle of friends during different seasons.
Different close buddy during different seasons.

Summer... Autumn... Winter and now.. Spring.

What happened to all these friendships? Well, it's still there :)
Many things can happen and change within season.
I'm not too sure about others... but I know I've changed... my thoughts have changed.. my heart have changed... My emotions are ever-changing.. Sometimes it just drives me nuts!

I wonder whether it'll be the same for this season.. and the next and the next...
I see all these changes and wonder.. is there anything that does not change...
I'm tired of changes... I really am...

When you see so many things around you change, you just want something that is still and unchanged. Then, you'll appreciate the value of whatever that is still in your heart. I need something that is worth keeping still for... that I know I can hold on to... Something stable, consistent, unchanging.. something that remains the same, yesterday, today, tomorrow... few days later, months later.. or years later.. forever.

God is... Unchanging. Stable. The same. Consistent.
Why aren't we looking to Him... when we need stillness in our lives?
He reminds that though there are changes, and there is a need to have changes in our lives... there are somethings that stays the same. He stays the same. He reminds us through His creation.. sun rise & sun sets.. the timing for these events may change... but the sun still rises and the sun still sets, each and everyday.

Realize that these things does not matter to us when we are not still. We don't get to appreciate sun sets or sun rise if we do not sit still to just look at the horizon and wait for the time, the right timing when it actually happens... the rising and the setting. It's the same with God.. if we keep focusing on all the changes in our lives.. how can we tend to lose focus or lose our appreciation on something that is unchanging in our lives. Don't ya think so?

Why do we set our eyes on Him?
His heart and love for us remains the same. His grace and mercy never changes. Instead, it is renewed each and everyday for us.
His character never changes, though He has many many different ideas for different people, different nations, in which would make a difference to people and to work around His purposes.
He is still our God today, yesterday, tomorrow and forevermore.
He is still there... whether we want Him to be there a not.

That's the God we believe in. The One, and Only.. Unchanging God.
That though everything else in our lives seem to change... we know we can rely on something that doesn't change... Our Father in Heaven, The Lord Jesus Christ.

Cooking Lessons + Fellowship

Last weekend was great! :)
I had a friend, who sleptover at my place about 4 days. It is so so cool! We had an awesome time together. We did lots of grocery shopping, cooking & sharing experiences.

It's my 7th month here.. and the only place in which I usually shop for food is at COLES Supermarket! Yesterday was the first time I've shopped in Central Market in China Town, with my friend assisting me. So so so cool! I can get loads of stuff from there with pretty reasonable and cheap price.

I am so glad that someone can teach me more cooking. Although she was doing all the cooking, I observed and I learned to cook different dishes within that 4 days++. I did my part by learning + washing dishes :P What dishes did I learn?

1. ABC Soup / Potato, Carrot + Chicken Soup

2. Curry Chicken + Potatoes; Fried cabbages with crabstick


4. Kon Low, Wan Tan Meen

5. Battered Fish, Mashed Potatoes + Salad


6. Chow Brussel Sprouts

7. Fried Spaghetti

8. Marinated Lamb Chop + "choi sum" + Tofu


WAH!!! :) So happy! And guess what!! My appetite came back!!! Thanks to my friend's good food!!! I lost weight because I was sick.. and appetite too. My stomach wasn't as BIG as the one back home, but when she started cooking... suddenly I had more spaceee for more yummy food!~

I was very happy the past few days because we're able to enjoy each other's company!! I thank God for them :)

See la.. ini budak.. happily eating our food ni! :P Hear got good food, then only wanna visit us!!! (wanna put this pic because it's the only pic with a person + food... Should have took more pics of my girl friend and I... LOL!)

Thanks Lydia for the awesome food and serving me & BX through cooking... great stuff! Thanks BX for helping us clear up our refrigerator, helped cutting the food, washing up dishes and made friends with my friend, Lydia, my uni buddy! Hope that we can cont to enjoy one another's fellowship. Always love it when my friend meet another friend of mine!

Most of all, thanks gal for sharing your experiences, passions and thoughts. Haha! Never thought we have similar passions, desires and dreams. Bwahaha! You know what I mean, right? ;) Maybe our dream will come true in the future. Who knows? :) I hope that we're able to cont to grow in Him together and lift one another up in times of need and trouble. Cont to be strong ya! I too will be strong! And I hope that we'll be able to cont studies in the same postgraduate course and cont our journey as discipline students. Maybe we can be house mates next time, if we shift to city or smtng!

Classes + strayed thoughts...

*ZzZzzzzz* Wait.. I am still in class! LIZZIE, WAKE UP!!! >.<

Sigh.. again.. dozing off in class. These days I've been distracted and really the thought of sleeping in class doesn't seem to matter to me anymore because I can hardly understand what the lecturer is talking about anyway. Yes, that goes for ALL my COURSES!!! The lecturer talks as if there is no tomorrow!

I'm in BIG trouble. It's only the 3rd week of lectures! How am I gonna survive the whole semester? Surely there is a way right? My ex-classmates who took the semester last year seem to be able to handle it well and did quite alright for your courses. Oh ya, courses here means subjects.

Sigh.. I aimed to concentrate and focus for this semester.. but my mind keep side-tracking on other things... I seem to have lots of things in my mind these days. It is so annoying!!! >.< Can't I just stop thinking for a second or something. Then again, it gets boring in there (my brain), if I do stop thinking... but sometimes, it is just too much.

I don't quite like the fact that I can't get over things easily. That emotions sway me too easily. That it is so hard for me to just focus on other things when there are other things that are bothering me. Arrrghhhh!!! Irritating-ness!

No.. my life is not falling apart. Not yet... Don't plan for it to fall apart either. I am just plain weird. I am good at pushing my thoughts/memories away.. yet, most of the time.. these stupid thoughts either keep bugging me from time to time or manifest in my emotions in which I can't identify, after a while, why am I feeling all depressed.

Sometimes I wish... life would be simpler. Why do we have to make life complicated for ourselves? Why is it so easy for people to misunderstand one another? Why is it easy to pinpoint each other's weaknesses? Why is easy for one to get hurt by words? Why does one become super overly sensitive with what another say, think or do?

Sigh.. My nonsense thoughts and worries can wait when I am in class. Lectures are more important.. then again, if I don't understand a thing, what is the point? Nvm.. I'll keep trying anyway.

Aiming for mental discipline this sem!!! XD Jia Yao, Lizzie!!!

The Difference Between Men & Women

Let's say a guy named Fred is attracted to a woman named Martha. He asks her out to a movie; she accepts; they have a pretty good time. A few nights later he asks her out to dinner, and again they enjoy themselves. They continue to see each other regularly, and after a while neither one of them is seeing anybody else.

And then, one evening when they're driving home, a thought occurs to Martha, and, without really thinking, she says it aloud: "Do you realize that, as of tonight, we've been seeing each other for exactly six months?"

And then, there is silence in the car.

To Martha, it seems like a very loud silence. She thinks to herself: I wonder if it bothers him that I said that. Maybe he's been feeling confined by our relationship; maybe he thinks I'm trying to push him into some kind of obligation that he doesn't want, or isn't sure of.

And Fred is thinking: Gosh. Six months.

And Martha is thinking: But, hey, I'm not so sure I want this kind of relationship either. Sometimes I wish I had a little more space, so I'd have time to think about whether I really want us to keep going the way we are, moving steadily towards, I mean, where are we going? Are we just going to keep seeing each other at this level of intimacy? Are we heading toward marriage? Toward children? Toward a lifetime together? Am I ready for that level of commitment? Do I really even know this person?

And Fred is thinking: ...so that means it was...let's see...February when we started going out, which was right after I had the car at the dealer's, which means...lemme check the odometer...Whoa! I am way overdue for an oil change here.

And Martha is thinking: He's upset. I can see it on his face. Maybe I'm reading this completely wrong. Maybe he wants more from our relationship, more intimacy, more commitment; maybe he has sensed - even before I sensed it - that I was feeling some reservations. Yes, I bet that's it. That's why he's so reluctant to say anything about his own feelings. He's afraid of being rejected.

And Fred is thinking: And I'm gonna have them look at the transmission again. I don't care what those morons say, it's still not shifting right. And they better not try to blame it on the cold weather this time. What cold weather? It's 87 degrees out, and this thing is shifting like a garbage truck, and I paid those incompetent thieves $600.

And Martha is thinking: He's angry. And I don't blame him. I'd be angry, too. I feel so guilty, putting him through this, but I can't help the way I feel. I'm just not sure.

And Fred is thinking: They'll probably say it's only a 90-day warranty...scumballs.

And Martha is thinking: Maybe I'm just too idealistic, waiting for a knight to come riding up on his white horse, when I'm sitting right next to a perfectly good person, a person I enjoy being with, a person I truly do care about, a person who seems to truly care about me. A person who is in pain because of my self-centered, schoolgirl romantic fantasy.

And Fred is thinking: Warranty? They want a warranty? I'll give them a warranty. I'll take their warranty and stick it right up their...

"Fred," Martha says aloud.

"What?" says Fred, startled.

"Please don't torture yourself like this," she says, her eyes beginning to brim with tears. "Maybe I should never have...oh dear, I feel so..."(She breaks down, sobbing.)

"What?" says Fred.

"I'm such a fool," Martha sobs. "I mean, I know there's no knight. I really know that. It's silly. There's no knight, and there's no horse."

"There's no horse?" says Fred.

"You think I'm a fool, don't you?" Martha says.

"No!" says Fred, glad to finally know the correct answer.

"It's just that...it's that I...I need some time," Martha says. (There is a 15-second pause while Fred, thinking as fast as he can, tries to come up with a safe response. Finally he comes up with one that he thinks might work.)

"Yes," he says. (Martha, deeply moved, touches his hand.)

"Oh, Fred, do you really feel that way?" she says.

"What way?" says Fred.

"That way about time," says Martha.

"Oh," says Fred. "Yes." (Martha turns to face him and gazes deeply into his eyes, causing him to become very nervous about what she might say next, especially if it involves a horse. At last she speaks.)

"Thank you, Fred," she says.

"Thank you," says Fred.

Then he takes her home, and she lies on her bed, a conflicted, tortured soul, and weeps until dawn, whereas when Fred gets back to his place, he opens a bag of Doritos, turns on the TV, and immediately becomes deeply involved in a rerun of a college basketball game between two South Dakota junior colleges that he has never heard of. A tiny voice in the far recesses of his mind tells him that something major was going on back there in the car, but he is pretty sure there is no way he would ever understand what, and so he figures it's better if he doesn't think about it.

The next day Martha will call her closest friend, or perhaps two of them, and they will talk about this situation for six straight hours. In painstaking detail, they will analyze everything she said and everything he said, going over it time and time again, exploring every word, expression, and gesture for nuances of meaning, considering every possible ramification.

They will continue to discuss this subject, off and on, for weeks, maybe months, never reaching any definite conclusions, but never getting bored with it either.

Meanwhile, Fred, while playing racquetball one day with a mutual friend of his and Martha's, will pause just before serving, frown, and say: "Norm, did Martha ever own a horse?"

And that's the difference between men and women.

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LOL!!!! So true, isn't it?

Quote

Got this quote from my friend, which I thought was meaningful + true...

Romance says, "Enjoy the fantasy".
Wisdom calls us to base our emotions and perceptions in reality.

Dramas

I realized that there are a lot of dramas in my life... and I think I brought most of the dramas in my life. I tend to over-worry too much about the things that had past and the things that hasn't even come yet. I get hooked up over the bad experiences rather than the good experiences in my life. Sometimes, I even generalize my bad experiences with one person and assume that others are the same.

When you live each day worrying and ruminating over negative thoughts and over bad experiences... taking in every word that hurts, in which people said in or about your life, whether they meant it a not... it is mentally and emotionally tiring. Know what? It is so hard to break out of these kind of mentality and focus on more important or better things and on the present times, in which you're living. Well, I know it is increadibly hard for me... I slowly lost faith and trust in people because I of the negative thoughts about myself, others as well as my distorted perception of God.

Most of the time, I tend to over-intensify or under-intensify (there are such words rite? Hope I used it in the right context) my problems or the feelings I had inside of me. Both does not help in my life. I only open up to certain people in certian period of time and the rest of the time, I prefer to just bottle it up inside... because I know how dependant I can be on the person after a while. I don't want to do that anymore.

Hmmm.. I think, from now on, I don't really want to blog so much about my 'depressed' moments or thoughts. Don't want to dwell so much in it and yet don't want to avoid it. Perhaps, I should journal those stuff in my personal diary or something. Maybe from time to time, when I am in desperate need to release, I will express it out through blog... If I think it is necessary. I realized blogging about these things may not actually help or build others. I want my blog to be a place to bless others and that somehow, God can use it so that others can learn from my experiences and I am able to learn from theirs as they comment as well.

Therefore, Lizzie doesn't want to have so much dramas in her life anymore and want to focus and more important things. Priorities gal!!! :) I really want to build up my life again.. physically, mentally, emotionally and spiritually. So far, pretty good.. Lots more to learn & lots more to reflect.

If I can't handle or take care of my own life... How am I gonna handle others in my job or my ministry? How am I gonna be a blessing to others and serve Him with my best? I don't want to just do it or live life for myself... for for Him and for the people He wants me to make a difference in, the people He loves.