Abandon it all

- frustrations
- disappointments
- hurts & pains
- anger & un-forgiveness
- fears
- feelings (emotions & emotionlessness)
- past, present & future
- partner-to-be
- desires, wish, hopes
- dreams, visions & prophesies
- thoughts, conduct/behavior
- unwillingness
- stubbornness
- pride
- focus
- studies (assignments & exams; semester)
- weaknesses & strengths
- securities
- impatience
- own ways
- Just myself...

Don't wanna worry anymore... don't wanna ruminate anymore.. don't wanna dwell in it anymore... don't even wanna think anymore...

Am tired... drained out... too full of myself.
I can't keep living on my own like this...


Bits of songs in my head...

I Surrender All hymn sang by Brian Littrell

"Lord, I give to You, all I ever had
And everything I was, and everything I am
And now I’m laying it down, laying at Your feet
To Your grace, to Your bow
I surrender all

Lord, I give myself to Thee
Fill me with Thy love and power
Let Thy blessing fall on me

I surrender all, I surrender all
All to Thee my blessed Saviour
I surrender all"

"Help me to truly surrender FREELY!"
I've been doing it obligingly and still clinging to those things I wanna surrender. Who ever taught you to take back whatever you've given away already?


Over my head by Brian Littrell

"...I've been holding on
Now I'm letting go, just letting go
Gonna let Your love carry me away..."

Let me not carry these things upon my shoulders on my own and take these things into my own hands... Let me abandon, leave those things in Your hands, and allow me to hold unto Your love


Lead me to the cross by Brooke Fraser (Hillsong United)

"Lead me to the cross
where Your love poured out
Bring me to my knees
Lord I lay me down
Rid me of myself
I belong to You
O lead me... lead me to the cross"


Clinging to the cross by Tim Hughes & Brooke Fraser

"My soul is weak, my heart is numb
I cannot seem but still my hope is found in You.
I hold on tightly, You will never let me go,
For Jesus You will never fail,
Jesus You will never fail.

Simply to the cross I cling
Letting go of all earthly things
I'm clinging to the cross
Mercy found a way for me
Hope is here as I am free
Jesus You are all I need
I'm clinging to the cross"


Why is it so damn hard to just abandon it all?

God's answer

If you ask for the wrong thing, at the wrong time, God says "NO"
If you ask for the right thing, at the wrong time, God says "SLOW"
If you ask for the wrong thing, at the right time, God says "GROW"
If you ask for the right thing, at the right time, God says "GO"

Exams O Exams...

Quiet and empty, isn't it? Can't get that in PJ/KL at 10.30pm. I think here, you can lie down at the middle of the road & not get crashed.. LOL! Love the city lights at night. This was taken when I was waiting for bus to go home from the city.


Exams... exams... exams....
I finally felt nervousness 3 hrs before my 1st paper. Finally realized that I can't settle for a fail... finally realized that just passing it, is the results I can best produce.
I've been reflecting upon the sem and asking myself, what really happened.
Why couldn't I follow or concentrate in class? Why is it that I didn't have the motivation to do my best and that I am consistently drained out after assignments, from one to another? Looks like, it wasn't only my struggle, but my friends from back home seem to face something somewhat similar as what I felt. Is it a 'Malaysian' mentality thing? I hope not..

Past 2 papers was BAD!!!! Perhaps not as scary as my dream, but it was SCARY! Try staring at the paper for hours, not knowing what to write. You want to crap something up also, your mind is BLANK!!!! You've reread what you've studied like 4-5 times, and prepared points for essay, but suddenly you just lose your train of thoughts. Wohooo!! That was me!!! I could picture my answers in my mind.. as in PICTURE it!!! but i couldn't express it down in words >_< *shucks* It really was bad. I know that I can pass because of my assignments. If I can't even pass for it... lol... my results for exam is super minimal. *sigh* ok.. enough of exams... have to look forward and focus on 2 more (1 internal paper, 1 take home exam). Then, I can berMERDEKA and berHOLIDAY!!! XD Kinda looking forward to the hols. That was initially the only thing I looked forward to.

1st paper was nervous mah .. cuz first paper... mins before exam, I was excited... I was smiley.. my friends and I were singing before we entered into the hall. I started singing "Have yourself a Merry Little Christmas" or smtng... LOL!!! Winter mahh!! SO COLD somemore! and my focus was on the star the whole evening while waiting to enter into the exam hall :P Exams... was bad but it was still alright... I could still smile my way out and back. My other friends must think that I am crazy. I was so relieved that it was over. I can deal with a pass for this one.

I was extremely disappointed over myself with yesterday's paper though. I was so angry and unhappy that when I came out from the hall and waited for the bus to go to the city, I did something that I haven't done for years, since secondary school. You see I mix with couple of guy friends, was very close to them, and I picked up one of their habit... like how they would react when they were unhappy. At the other side of the bus stop, as I was blocked by it, I punched the wall a few times... Yeah, I know it's a stupid thing to do.. lol.. and yes, it hurts. That was the main point I guess. So that you can feel the pain and it can replace the other feelings inside, whether it is sadness or frustrations. Was soooo furious... >_< I somehow wished the wall was smoother though.. LOL!

I'm glad that I was supposed to meet a friend that day for dinner. If not I wouldn't know where to go. I certainly didn't wanna go back. He could see that I wasn't happy. He knows that I wasn't. My whole facial expression dropped.. I practically stuffed myself with his chocs -Maltesers-. My friend must be thinking that I'm crazy. I know he was really worried. Since, I can't cry it out.. I might as well stuff and munch on things *MUNCH MUNCH MUNCH* That was what I do when I am unhappy.. I think I tend to eat a lot... I think when I am stressed, I don't eat at all. Yepz.. that's me. I thank God for him though.. that I had a friend to comfort me at that time. It was alright after that and I had a BIG appetite for dinner, despite the amount of chocs I ate before that. Apparently, I look extremely scary when I am frustrated, angry, unhappy and displeased. Yea, not many people get to see that side of me.

So yeah.. exams O exams... Gonna focus on the 2 more papers. Nvm. CAN ONE!!!

Feel the breeze~

Welcome to Winterrr!! Yes, the grass is still green, but the trees dropped its leaves.
Temperature here ranged from 1C (lowest point, so far) - 24C (highest point, me think).

Exam is tomorroww!! Finally!!! Well, I sound excited right? 'Cuz I can't wait to finish my exams!!! I have to admit that I am ssoooo under-prepared but I really can't wait for it to be over and done with. Why can't we M'sians handle the stress, I wonder? All we can think about is the afterrr the dreadful period of exams - HoLiDaYs!!! We pass also happy already. That is how we work right now... because we are so mentally tired, super under motivated & mentally drained.

So yeah.. dat's life for me now. Can't wait for Saturday afternoon!!!

This is my timetable:-
Wed (20/6): Issues to Criminal Justice: 6.30pm - 8.30pm
Thurs (21/6): Community Wellness: 2.00pm - 4.00pm
Fri (22/6): Pass up take home exam for Forensic Psyc: 5pm
Sat (23/6): Health Psyc: 9am - 12pm

So yep yep. Waiting for Sat to come. That keeps me less moody and excited.

I do wonder, am I affected by the winter. They said u can have S.A.D. (Seasonal Affected Disorder) during winter. I know my mood have been changing a lot... I would so love to blame it all to the weather.. LOL! but.. hmmm it's not TOTALLY the weather's/season's fault. Maybe just a lil :P

We'll see soon enough :)

Conflict within myself

Hehe I know some people are bored with the lyrics in my blog.
Reason I put lyrics is a way of expressing what I'm going through as well... not just some random lyrics I love liao! =P even if it may seem so.. *haha*

Anyway, lots of things happened within the week, month or so.. Many many many.... I don't even know how to start. Have been busy with assignments.. it was CRAZY, being sick and rushing for assignments (as written in the prev posts)... my whole lifestyle.. like usual ler.. memang 'upside-down'.

I'm really sorry for neglecting people back in M'sia or even here because of my busyness. I have neglected many many people this past month. I did find myself distancing from others.. and becoming more antisocial, and perhaps only sticking to a very few peeps here. I've experienced distrust, hurt, brokenness, worriness, being afraid, doubts, craziness, falling in love, sadness, happiness, being ecstatic, being in self-denial... wow, almost everything you can possibly imagine! That's within the month itself.

Now, exam period. Seriously, I am demotivated like no one's business. I don't feel the urgency. I don't feel the need. I don't feel worried. What is wrong with me? >_< All i can think of... "I WANNA GET OVER IT!!!" I just wanna enjoy my holidays. I got myself busy again! Woohoo!! Youth camp, big bro's birthday & holiday with friends! =) Seriously crazy... the youth camp and holiday with friends were like so random! That's so me after I been here...

I thank God that I am able to express myself again... I truly was able to express all out.. and I finally could express my feelings after all. After months of feeling stuck, and emotionless or filled with emotions and wanna let it out but just couldn't.. I finally did.. For what reason? LOL! Well, there are many reasons that a gal would cry... I am so relieved that I am like any gal & human being with emotions. I have been feeling stuck for months ever since I came here. Thank You God.

I am grateful for so many things. God's faithfulness in my life. God ever ready to speak to me through sermons, prayers or people about what I am going through, confirmation again and again on what He is saying... the people (new or old) whom God sent into my life... friendships rectified.. seeing hope again in certain things... and opening my eyes to certain issues in my life, that I may or may not understand. I thank God for people He has put to support me through and encourage me to draw closer and trust Him -which is not easy for me-.

Hmmm.. there are still many things locked in my heart. Lol! Many people know me as someone optimistic, especially from back home.. but only a very free know the pessimistic part of me... Lord, please help me... Seeing things without having hope or faith, kinda sux. It is not easy to just surrender it to Him.... esp when you are so scared that you'll lose whatever you've surrendered *shucks* Trust Him.. trust Him.. trust Him.. He knows what's best.. Don't assume what He'll do in your life.. because you really don't know -note to self-

ARGH! Frustrating!!! >_< style="font-style: italic;">
"God, I surrender my thoughts, emotions and actions to you.. my future is in Your hands. Help me trust You fully.... and not be afraid..."

Shadow Feet

Currently playing in my blog... An inspiration... Shadow Feet (Album Version)

Walking, stumbling On these shadow feet Toward home, a land that I've never seen I am changing Less and less asleep Made of different stuff than when I began And I have sensed it all along Now fast approaching is the day CHORUS When the world has fallen out from under me I'll be found in you, still standing When the sky rolls up and mountains fall on their knees When time and space are through I'll be found in you There's distraction Buzzing in my head Saying in the shadows it's easier to stay But I've heard rumours of true reality Whispers of a well-lit way CHORUS Bridge You make all things new CHORUS CHORUS 2 When the world has fallen out from under me I'll be found in you, still standing Every fear and accusation under my feet When time and space are through I'll be found in you When time and space are through I'll be found in you When time and space are through I'll be found in you

Copyright Brooke Fraser

Love is Waiting

Love Is Waiting (Album Version)

In the autumn on the ground Between the traffic and the ordinary sounds I am thinking signs and seasons While a north wind blows through I watch as lovers pass me by Walking stories, who's and how's and why's Musing lazily on love, pondering you Let's give it time, give it space And be still for a spell When it's time to walk that way We wanna walk it well CHORUS I'll be waiting for you baby I'll be holding back the darkest night Love is waiting `til we're ready `Til it's right Love is waiting It's my caution not the cold There's no other hand that I would rather hold The climate changes, I'm singing for strangers about you Don't keep time, slow the pace Honey hold on if you can The bets are getting surer now That you're my man CHORUS Bridge I could write a million songs about the way you say my name I could live a lifetime with you and then do it all again And like I can't force the sun to rise Or hasten summer's start Neither should I rush my way into your heart

Copyright Brooke Fraser

Enjoying Brooke Fraser's songs at the moment. Incredible songs..
"Love is patient..." 1 Cor 13
Love is a choice.

New handphone

Since everyone wants to know about my new handphone...
It's a Nokia E65.
*ta daahh*





Nice?

What are the features?

• Access business functions quickly and easily with One Touch keys for conference calls, mute/unmute, and contacts
• Keep your hands free with voice dialing and commands, and the integrated speakerphone
• Access your favorite feature with the customizable My Own key
• Check your email on-the-go with a variety of mobile email applications or with the native email client
• View email attachments from common office applications
• Make cost-efficient VoIP (voice over IP) calls via WLAN
• Integrate Nokia E65 into in-office PBX (private branch exchange) infrastructure using third-party add-on solutions
• Show your sense of style with the slim, stylish slide design

(Link ref: http://europe.nokia.com/A4346184)

I'm paying $AU10 each month for 2 yrs for this :)

"Lift" by Shannon Noll

I know you're hurting
Feels like you're learning
'Bout life the hard way
And it ain't working

Seems like forever
That you've been falling
It's time to move on
You're life is calling, yeah

This was never meant to be the end
Close the book and start again

[CHORUS]
Cause I know how hard it can get
But you gotta lift
You gotta lift
And sometimes that's how it is
But I know you're stronger
Stronger than this
You gotta lift
You gotta lift

When you can feel your
Whole body's aching
What's left of your heart
It won't stop breaking
You gotta let go
You took a hit
Time to pick up now
Move on from this

This was never meant to be the end
Close the book and start again

[CHORUS]
Cause I know how hard it can get
But you gotta lift
You gotta lift
And sometimes that's how it is
But I know you're stronger
Stronger than this
You gotta...

Lift yourself up above all the hurt
Don't give in
Wipe your eyes and remember
You're better than this
Let them know
That they took their best shot
And missed
C'mon and lift

This was never meant to be the end
Close the book and start again

[CHORUS]

Pick up now...
Pick up now...


Thanks so much, dear friend, for introducing me to this song :)
Not gonna give up, gonna pick myself up, lift His Spirit within me, leaving the past behind & moving forward...

"Set Me Free" by Casting Crown

It hasn't always been this way
I remember brighter days
Before the dark ones came
Stole my mind
Wrapped my soul in chains

Now I live among the dead
Fighting voices in my head
Hoping someone hears me crying in the night
And carries me away

Chorus:
Set me free of the chains holding me
Is anybody out there hearing me?
Set me free

Morning breaks another day
Finds me crying in the rain
All alone with my demons I am
Who is this man that comes my way?
The dark ones shriek
They scream His name
Is this the One they say will set the captives free?
Jesus, rescue me

Chorus

As the God man passes by
He looks straight through my eyes
The darkness cannot hide

Do you want to be free?
Lift your chains
I hold the key
All Power on Heaven and earth belong to me
(Repeat)

You are free
You are free
You are free

---

Am going through some rough patches... it has been crazy... it was all good until a friend realized and told me that there was something about me that wasn't right.. something about the way I shared my life.. and so, I searched through.. what could be? I'm happy, it has all been well.. But soon I wonder whether was it reality or did I create an illusion for myself that everythin was alright? Then, things got worst, thoughts and emotions bugging and torturing my soul... Lord, when will the time come for me to just let it all go and be in peace from all these? Why can't I just express it out like normal people do?

Sigh... when will the time for me to be able to abandon everything at His feet.. Worried over lil things and seem which seem to be turned into something huge, because I couldn't voice out how I really felt? Worst, sometimes I can't remember what was bothering me, 'cuz I usually just shrug it aside. My life is not only affected but the people who cares and loves me as well are affected. Why the inadequacy when I can hang unto You adequacy & Your confidence.

You have been ever so faithful to me and the people who was hurt by me. I just pray that.. You'll give me courage.. Courage to face all these and to overcome all these with You, as well as listening to what You have to say.. Faith to know that You are there for me, and You will help me through and that it is possible to break through it... Wisdom & discernment to decide and make choices which are favourable in Your eyes... Patience to wait on You.. because it is so so so hard to ever do that..

Help me to still praise Your Name, despite of all these.

"I'll Praise You In This Storm" by Casting Crowns

I was sure by now,
God, that You would have reached down
and wiped our tears away,
stepped in and saved the day.
But once again, I say amen
and it's still raining
as the thunder rolls
I barely hear You whisper through the rain,
"I'm with you"
and as Your mercy falls
I raise my hands and praise
the God who gives and takes away.

Chorus:
And I'll praise you in this storm
and I will lift my hands
for You are who You are
no matter where I am
and every tear I've cried
You hold in your hand
You never left my side
and though my heart is torn
I will praise You in this storm

I remember when I stumbled in the wind
You heard my cry to You
and raised me up again
my strength is almost gone how can I carry on
if I can't find You
and as the thunder rolls
I barely hear You whisper through the rain
"I'm with you"
and as Your mercy falls
I raise my hands and praise
the God who gives and takes away

Chorus

I lift my eyes unto the hills
where does my help come from?
My help comes from the Lord, the maker of heaven and earth
I lift my eyes unto the hills
where does my help come from?
My help comes from the Lord, the maker of heaven and earth

Chorus

Letting go of the underlying causes

Ever watched closely your own actions & wondered why do you do the things you do? Or whether you've done it rightly or whether the motive of doing things is right? I seem to be more aware of my own conduct now as I reflect each day... whether what I'm doing is alright or not & why so? Even when I do think I have a problem or bad habit, I will try to look for the underlying reason to it. This applies even to my own habit of sleeping late... and yes, even that, I've found the reason to it...

Now, what do you do with these reflections? Sometimes you'd discover your underlying source but not so willing to let it go yet. I mean, why would people want to hang unto something that isn't good, unless they have learned to adapt to it, they are just so used to it that it's part of their life already or they are afraid of missing something "good" from it.. or maybe the "good" is just a 'feel good' factor... hhmm does that make sense?

This conversation captured my attention. Perhaps, it explains better to what I mentioned just now.. This is what Dr Wilson said to House (House, Season 2, epi 11), "You don't like yourself, but you do admire yourself. It's all you've got, so, you cling to it. You're so afraid that if you change, you'll lose what makes you special. Being miserable doesn't make you better than anyone else. It just makes you miserable!"

Wow! That was like a 'bullseye' on all sides of the egos deep down an individual.. I somehow can relate to what Dr Wilson said. If not, why would it hit me on own face as well, when I was watching it, rite?

I'm happy & blessed because...

1. I've finished the biggest assignment of the semester.
2. 2 of my other assignments got extended.
3. I'm recovering from my sickness.
4. The presentation for Ps Matt went well.
5. Friendships that previously gone bad has been made right.
6. I am free from an unforgiving spirit.
7. My heart is slowly opening up to Him again.
8. My burdens has been lifted, one by one each day.
9. My mum's minor operation on her hand went well.
10. Able to talk to my mum on the phone.
11. Friends visited & brought food for me when I was unwell.
12. Friends pray for me continuously for my wellbeing + my spiritual needs.
13. Big HUGS from friends, telling me they really do care for me.
14. I am reminded each day that God loves me (whether thru songs, friends, devotions or whisper in my head).
15. I am not afraid of going back home to M'sia. I am excited! :)
16. I am not afraid of missing my friends + peeps from back home anymore!
17. I am able to talk to Him more... and rely on His strength.
18. In the midst of all the craziness in life, I know that He is still there.
19. I slept early!!! and got enough rest after a long long time!
20. I surrendered my lifestyle to Him.

At the moment...

... I feel like crying whenever I think about my workload of assignments.

I've been on this assignment for days and it never seems to end...
Plus, I've got more coming up. I just want to get it done and over with...

Few things in my list that I have to do:

1. Finish up my Forensic Pysc proposal paper by tonight: Only 1.5K words left. I can do it!
2. Tomorrow, de-stress in church & CG, and dance my heart out with my partner to the song, "Isn't he lovely?" for Ps Nick as it is his birthday present from us. (Pray that I won't stumble and fall. Not easy to learn new kind of dance - a type of Swing dance)
   
3. Finish up Community Wellness paper by tomorrow night: Only bout 400 words, it's ok. Persevere!!!
4. Get up early, make an appointment at a clinic nearby. Make sure I go & see doc this time & get a med cert.
   
5. Attach med cert with assignment extension letter for the next assignment, Health Psyc paper (God, pls help me on this!)
6. Mon itself, seeing doc, after passing doc to the Psych office for extension, start researching on Health Psyc practical paper, do as much as I can in the Methods section... so that I won't kill myself for the next few days, in case I don't get the extension for some reason.
   

Ok.. I should cont with my work now..

Better, breaks + add-ons

Remember last Wed I mentioned that I'm sick?

Well, the day after the post, I felt a whole lot better!!! Amen!!! Woohooo!!!
My nose still gets congested though XS

I think when I get stressed up with assignment I tend to distract myself more.. For example, I noticed I've done all my chores for the week (even did most of the dishes cleaning, than I usually do), I tweaked my blog and put add-ons in it, I've been reading friend's blog more regularly than I usually do... things like that!

I think it is a way for me to release stress and not stress so much. I realize I need to take short breaks after a paragraph of writing (like rewarding myself). Now I am slowly successfully offing my MSN & googletalk when I do my assignments. Which has been quite good so far. I give myself breaks, and allow myself to chat from time to time. Sometimes, I do go overtime, but I try to control.

So far, these kinda progression is good for disciplining myself :) Slowly, I'll change to be more discipline ya! I also am thankful for friends who check on me to see whether I'm alright in my assignments and my wellbeing... also, to check my progress on my work. I do feel guilty when my friend suddenly calls and I'm doing something else.. or I've taken too long a break.

Ok.. break time over.

Before that.. check out a few features/add-ons in my blog...

1. New songs I've loaded on my blog... meaningful songs.. but if it's too distracting for some, I'll off the autoplay.
2. Hilarious Christian Comic Strip update weekly & Bible Verse for the day, both @ the left sidebar under Christian links.
3. Digital time : Malaysia & Adelaide. I'm looking for a nice countdown calender.

Yep.. so that's it! Maybe you'll find more stuff soon... 'cuz I know i'll be super stress next week.

Not the best time of my life..

Sick - horrible flu, soar throat & phlegm.

Currently eating - Plain porridge (made by me!) with pepper & soya sauce.

Currently busy with... - 2 huge report assignments (1 pass up by this Fri, another by Fri week after that), 1 tutes informal presentation (next Thurs), 1 short essay (on the coming Mon), an essay on topic presented (the Thurs week after the presentation) and last short essay the beginning of June... then exams...

The international students in my course has expressed how meaningless life has been, as we work on assignments after assignments, week in week out. We are so frustrated and some even express their wish to just dieeee. We are the "PROCASTINATORS".

I felt really really discouraged, stressed out and worried about all these. I wanted so much to give up when I started on my first assignments this sem. As my mind were filled with lots of negative thoughts, I told myself I really couldn't handle all these assignments.. I really can't do it.. I even had thoughts at the back of my mind on how to escape from all these stress & fear of failing. It wasn't a very good thought at all. I began to think... if I failed, what is the worst that could happen? I don't think that was suppose to motivate me to just do whatever I can with my assignments. Another that popped by just recently was the thought of I'd rather do harm to myself than to fail. Hello! By doing harm to yourself, it won't help you finish assignments. Maybe they can extend for you (and think that you're a psycho), but it won't bring all those responsibilities and tasks away! >_< I'll have to redo the course or go into psychiatric rehab instead and say bye to my future... I might as well just fail, and get the opportunity to redo my assignment!

WAHHH!! Cannot 'tahan' having these kinda stupid thoughts. However, I really thank God for a great support group here. I have people here that supported me so so much... more than I thought should receive. They believed I can do it.. though I felt I didn't deserve that because it is the result of my consequences for last-minuteness & not focusing in my course. My priority was running around... But they still continued to pray for me, to support me through and help me, even when they are busy. I really thank God for them.. I really thank God for being so faithful himself and believing in me, even when I couldn't quite believe in myself.

God has put so many people in my life to assure His love for me... to remind me that I am not walking alone... to realize that He is still in control.. not me, but Him. He has shown me His love through the testimony of others and how they have portrayed His love for me. I am so so so blessed..

I just pray that it is not too late for me to give my best shot and do my best for Him in my studies.

"Lord, I just surrender these papers/courses/semester to You... I surrender and yet help me to put in the best effort on it all not by my own strength but with your stength, your thoughts.. though it's super last minute and I may not even understand fully what I'm doing. I surrender and trust that whatever results I may have, You have a plan for me.. whether to teach me, or be grateful or to be responsible for my own actions/consequences... I pray that I never stop praising Your Name, whether I fail, do badly, pass or did well in it... If I could get through this and not fail, I pray that You will remind me of the lessons you've taught me over the years and pls HELP ME CHANGE!!! If I can't even take care of this area in my life, how am I gonna grow in other areas. Help me to want to change and challenge myself to change, so that I can be the best that You want me to be & the best that You have made me to be.. for I know that I have so much more potential than what I portray now... Let not anything hinder me from learning to be the best for You.. and to have that kind of spirit of excellence when I serve You everyday of my life in all areas. Help me know it is not too late for a change.. and You are going through all these (even when I think it's crap to go through all that.. but I'm sure You'll think it's necessary for me) with me.. Thank You, Lord. In Your mighty Name, Amen"

2 Food for thoughts

I'm so encouraged to see or hear how much my members from back home grow. I can see what God has done in their lives, the people He has brought to support and encourage them in His Name, the desire to really seek Him and follow His ways & the way some of them hold strongly to their faith. Thank You, God!!! :) I ought to learn from them.. I know that I definitely did learn so much, when God put me to be with them and guide them.

I got this quote from George's blog, which I found really interesting & true:

"The intuitive mind is a sacred gift and the rational mind is a faithful servant. We have created a society that honors the servant and has forgotten the gift"

- Albert Einstein

Another one from Daily Wisdom:

"The question is not whether a doctrine is beautiful but whether it is true. When we wish to go to a place, we do not ask whether the road leads through a pretty country, but whether it is the right road"

- Augustus William and Julius Charles Hare

"This is the real me" by Jaci Valesquez

Currently playing in my blog...


People think I've got it all together
With the show and my sweet, sweet smile
But do they know if I've been happy ever
Pull up a chair 'cause this may take a while
O.K. so here's the thing

I've got my bad days, and some are even worse
I can be a blessing and you know, I can be a curse
I tremble at rejection, I'm scared to be alone
Sometimes I may be selfish, but I always make it home

This is the real me
Am I the girl that you want me to be
This is the real me
With flaws and fears of intimacy
This is the real me
Can you face it
Can you feel it
Can you take it
Can you deal with
The real me

So now you see that I am far from perfect
I will fall and I will make mistakes (oh, no)
But I am here and this has taken courage
Will you abandon me or will you stay
(Please stay with me)

I know that I'm demanding and sometimes insecure
I think I've got the answers, but then I'm not so sure
I sometimes need attention a little more than I should
But there is a part of me that would give the whole world if I could

-C-

Now I've gone and let you in
And I no longer will pretend
Will you please still be my friend
Will you please still be my friend
Do you see me now

This is the real me
Am I the girl that you want me to be
This is the real me
Real me

-C-

This is the real me
Oh, here I am now
This is the real me
With all my flaws and fears
This is the real me
Can you face it
Can you feel it
Can you take it
Can you deal with
The real me

OCF Easter Camp [Theme: BEYOND~]

Nature: Sunrise & Sunset







Food: Healthiest and yummiest food I've ever eatan in camps!



Devotions, Bible study, Games & Drama Team: Elizabeth-ians & Lydia-ians! We ROCK!!!


OCF Easter Camp Group Pic!

Someone is too short!! XD Needed to be carried up! Sam oh Sam :P

OCFs in the whole of South Australia

Adelaide OCF Committee 2007

Adelaide OCF Group
Adelaide OCF Gals - being BIMBO!

Uni South Aus (UniSA) OCF Group

Magill Campus / East Side Cell under UniSA OCF

Other Groups

Psychology Students from UniSA acting Psycho


Adelaide Gals

Exciteddd!!! 3 gals + 1 random guy (Jerry)!
Trying to walk with style

Kena Sabor

Individuals & Small Groups

Shelley + Liz

Jerry + Liz

Li Chang + Liz (with Sunset background)

Fiona + Liz

Hilda + Cheryl

Angel (Dennis!) + Mortal wif prezzie

Mel, Sam + Cheryl (my fav peeps)

Sunrise gang! Also, the siao team that didn't sleep the whole nite! Who are they?

"Ta daahh": Clement, Liz + Hubert

In "Relationship" workshop - Acting Scenario - "What would you do if someone you do not have interest in comes up to you to confess his interest to be in relationship?" Main stars: Amos (actor) + Liz (actress)

My thoughts:
This camp would be a part of my memory which I wouldn't want to forget :)
Although I didn't get to meet lots of new people, the ones I knew became close to my heart & I know that I am not walking alone.
The ones that have been there, have always been there.
Looking forward to bless others as I've been blessed so much here!

God thank You for Your peace.. it was beyond what I thought I needed...
God thank You for the gals You've sent to me... it was beyond who I've expected...
God thank You for Your love for me... it's beyond comprehension.. but yet I need to truly understand & capture your grace + love for me once again

"God, continue to work in my heart & speak into my heart... as I learn more and more about You and Your character, who You are & who I should be for You"

"When you feel spiritual low, doesn't mean that you're going into depression. You're just going into the depth of it..." - Aunt Marillyn -

"Love Them Like Jesus" by Casting Crowns

The love of her life is drifting away
They're losing the fight for another day
The life that she's known is falling apart
A fatherless home, a child's broken heart

You're holding her hand, you're straining for words
You trying to make - sense of it all
She's desperate for hope, darkness clouding her view
She's looking to you

Just love her like Jesus, carry her to Him
His yoke is easy, His burden is light
You don't need the answers to all of life's questions
Just know that He loves her and stay by her side
Love her like Jesus
Love her like Jesus

The gifts lie in wait, in a room painted blue
Little blessing from Heaven would be there soon
Hope fades in the night, blue skies turn to gray
As the little one slips away

You're holding her hand, you're straining for words
You're trying to make sense of it all
They're desperate for hope, darkness clouding their view
They're looking to you

Just love them like Jesus, carry them to Him
His yoke is easy, His burden is light
You don't need the answers to all of life's questions
Just know that He loves them and stay by their side
Love them like Jesus

Lord of all creation holds our lives in His hands
The God of all the nations holds our lives in His hands
The Rock of our salvation holds our lives in His hands
He cares for them just as He cares for you

So love them like Jesus, love them like Jesus
You don't need the answers to all of life's questions
Just know that He loves them and stay by their side
Love them like Jesus
Love them like Jesus