Health Freak?

"No chilli for a month", says the doc :(

Well, it seems that I haven't been eating healthily and that produced some problems. If not, why wouldn't I be able to take chilli, right?

Since then (well, last week) I've decided to live a healthier lifestyle. I changed my eating+drinking habits and decided to exercise too.

Drinking: Taking more than just a cup of water. I attempt to drink at least 2 cups and a bottle of water each day.

Eating: Eat more veggies and fruits. I think a dish of veg at least a meal a day. Trying to eat fruits every morning but at the moment, not enough fruits in refrigerator.

Supplement/vitamins: Taking supplement each day.

Exercise: Sit-ups, crunching (whatever u call it.. the one you lift your leg and down to exercise the bottom of your stomach) and cycling (on the machine). Doing it once in 2 days.


My bro is training me for my exercise. He is an expert since he gets trained by his gym instructor. So in turn, he is training me now! First training was 2 days ago... I was shouting in pain because it was so difficult! But I told myself, "Lizzie, YOU CAN!!! Persevere!!! Can ONE!!!". Hehe cheering myself on in my mind. Parents was wondering why were there someone shouting in pain. LOL!

The next day, I didn't quite feel any pain at first, but later in the evening, the pain grew...! T.T OUCH! So PAIN!!! If anyone were to touch my tummy, I would be screaming or something (ok la, not so drama :P). So I rested for a day. That's when I decided not to do it everyday, but on alternate days.

Hopefully whatever I am doing now, I'll do it consistently :) Wish me all the best!

Living up to our names?

ELIZABETH
means 'consecrated to God' and is of Hebrew origin

Elizabeth is sophisticated and noble
She can be child like and child-oriented
She has the ability to succeed in life
She is spontaneous and direct
Only when allowed freedom will she be happy
She has a forthright approach of life
Her unflagging energy is an inspiration
She is an innovator and originator
Sh structures and give shape to others
She considers her home to be her castle

Another interpretation (from keychain my dear friend/bro gave me):
One devoted to all she meets
Being a model to the community for how she loves her family and friends
Hard working and charitable
Giving her all, loves to excel
Knowing she is doing her best and feeling a special glow from it
Watch your hearts, for she'll take them every time and not even know it


LISA
(My nickname - only family & 'ol close friends call me by that name)
means 'honey bee' and is of Greek origin

Lisa is expansive and warm
Obstacles in her way tend to be ignored
She is sometimes attracted to secretiveness
She values freedom
She has a great urge to untangle mysteries
She is highly aware of her public image
She is both practical and imaginative
She has revolutionary zeal
She frequently arouses emotions in others
She strives to excel in everything she does

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So, these are the meanings and apparently the 'personality' to my name.
What do ya think? Does it sound like me? hehe :)
I see the person I used to be and the person I am now, mentioned above. I see the person I want to be as well...

Well, what do you guys think?
Maybe I'll comment what I think at the next post :)

2007 (continuation...)

Adventure
The first year I went overseas to study, is the year I had so much fun traveling with/became close to my heart. I am thankful that they would have me join the trips. I feel so blessed! :) The year alone, I went to Melbourne twice (April & Nov-Dec '07), Gold Coast/Brisbane (Sept '07), houseboat trip in Adelaide (July '07), 3 church camps (March, July, Dec '07), visited around Adelaide with different groups of friends - OCF budz, university budz and house mate, bf + friend. I thank God for the opportunity to travel with these people and enjoy traveling. Each vacation I went for, left memories... :) Through these adventures I learnt heaps about myself too.

Adventures are self-discoveries as well.


Independence
Being in a foreign place without my family and many people I really know, taught me so so much. Before going to Aus, I do not know how to live on my own. I didn't know how to cook, to clean... When I shared house with 2 other housemates, we had chores t do each day. So I had to learn to be more responsible and to clean the house. I learnt cooking from mum when she was in Aus with me for that couple of days to help me assimilate into a new home and place. I learnt to di laundry from housemates. Yes, I've never done any of these chores before until I stepped foot in Aus because at home, everything was provided for. We had a maid to do the cooking and cleaning for us. I was out so often, that I didn't pay much attention to prepare myself for my independence in Aus.

Well, with the independence I had in Aus, comes decisions in which I have to make as well. Independence on how I spend my time, how I handle my last year of uni, on the people I choose to mix with, how I want to live my life... etc. I won't say that I've done everything perfectly. I did some rights and some wrongs... but the experiences have taught me well. I'm learning to make the right decisions now because I realize that decisions doesn't only affect myself then, but the person I wanna be in the future and the people around me.

Independence is not easy to come by for some. Learn from it and live it out when you have the opportunity.


Freedom
With the freedom I have, I believe comes responsibility as well. I know that freedom doesn't come easy... but when I had all the freedom in Aus, I almost went crazy. LOL! Again, choices have to be made on the freedom I possess. Really, what is freedom? Does freedom come without boundaries? I can say that freedom without boundaries will lead to destruction, because you just can't differentiate what's right and wrong. Freedom without boundaries, made me feel happy for a moment because I can do anything I want! But soon I realize, that there really is no joy in my life because I do not seem to be governing my own life. Not all that comes along are good.

"Everything might be permissible, but not everything is beneficial"


Perseverance
I learnt to persevere in studies and hardships with others. It was so tough when you are facing assignments and examinations, when at the same time, everything else in your life came crumbling down as well. Everything that you've known and understood are at lost, and when you know that you're not doing the best you can or have no strength to continue on... I learnt not to rely on my own strength. I had friends and family who supported me through (in Aus, M'sia, wherever they may be), and esp God to keep me sane and cont to push me to live on.. persevere and not give up. I admire my mum's perseverance in all that she does and I thought to myself, if she can do it, I can too. My mum was like the living proof of success, after all the hardships she went through.

Perseverance... to push on, to do the things which seem impossible at the moment. To push through even when you don't see the end result yet, but trust that it is there. It's easier to persist when there is a goal ahead, when you can see a result at the end of what you're doing. Pushing through whatever that comes your way, and persisting in finishing the race.. finishing whatever that you've started. I felt the joy of persevering and it was all worth it!

Persevere with someone whom you think would push you beyond what you THINK you can do or are capable of, and help you to continue reaching your goal until the end.


Home/Family
When I was down and lonely, when I was hurt and was in the pit... When I fell into depression in Aus, home and family was the only place I felt belonged in. When friendships seem so shaky, when I felt I couldn't trust anyone, I was crushed with many issues and people, I felt there were no were else I could turn to... but my family. No one else could compensate the love that my family gave to me.

I've regretted so much that I didn't spend enough time with my family before I left Aus. When I was in Aus, they supported me from afar and when they knew what I was going through, they didn't blame me or point fingers to me.. but they continue to be patient and encourage me. I was surprised to hear their advices. I realized that they treat me, no longer a child but an adult. They've let go of me and asked me to make my own decisions for myself, but they were always there to support me through.

Mum was my inspiration to cont to press on and persevere through hardships. Dad was there to provide wisdom on taking ownership of my life and decisions. Bro... well, he nags me, but I know that he cares and worries so much for me :) I really really love them and I thank God for wonderful parents and bro.

The ones at home are the ones who should know & understand you the most.

2007

The year have taught me about...

Friendships
Different seasons, I had different close trusted friends. Making new friends and choosing the people you wanna be close with. Also, allowing God to move in the friendship and trust that it can work out. Other people can say lots about your friendship with another, but at the end of the day, the definition and decision on the matters of friendship is yours. Friend who was willing to go a mile for me... genuine friendship (with a brother in Christ) that I haven't quite experienced before. Sisters who are there through my thick and thins... whom I can share my life experiences with.

Not to forget, friendships which crushed my heart into pieces too, filled it with disappointments and anger. Friendships which sometimes needed to be initiated, to be pushed. Friendships in which you wonder whether it'll still run when initiation had stopped. Some did stop until you're suddenly remembered or not heard from for months. Friends whom assume the person you are without really knowing you. Friends who betrayed my trust. Friendships that were close but are no longer. Friendships which became awkward instead.

There is a need for balance in friendships.

A friendship extended to another, can make a difference in ways no one could ever know.


Relationships
Shouldn't be rushed. Knowing the person is essential. Having a close group of friends who can keep you accountable. Listening to what your friends have to say about the person. They do know better most of the time. When you're supposed to wait... pls WAIT!!! Do put it on hold. Be patient. A rushed relationship is temporary... Feelings can come easily but it takes both individuals' effort to make it work. Maturity is needed to handle a relationship. It is not only critical to consider spiritual compatibility... but also mental compatibility. One may aim for marriage in a relationship, but one does not need to be too focused on it. Sometimes relationship doesn't work out... IT'S OK if it doesn't. Commitment is not a feeling. It's a choice... Love is too.

True love waits.


Letting go
I don't have to keep starting anew. I can cont from where I am and try to make it right by learning from mistakes and moving forward - focused on what is ahead. Restarting my life in a different place, doesn't quite make it. Leaving what is behind is the solution for the ability to look what is ahead of you. Never keep ruminating about the past. Leave the past behind... or you'll be too blinded to see what is ahead, too dysfunctional to live, and too stunted to grow or move on.

Holding and focusing too much on one's successes and ol' glorious days can be prevent one from moving forward as well. What used to be good, can be better.. It doesn't have to be worst.

It's like a scar. When you look at it now, it doesn't hurt as before when there was a wound there. Evidently it is still there to serve as a reminder, to not make the same mistakes that caused the scar again.


Myself
It's ok to respond differently in different circumstances, but it is better to be consistent. It is ok to be angry or disappointed from expectations. It is ok not to smile all the time. I got lost trying to find for my identity - broke rules, broke boundaries, broke standards, broke integrity. One doesn't have to compromise one's values and beliefs to relate to another. It is always hard trying to mix with people who are different than you. The different characters in oneself, makes one unique - even so as weaknesses are included. Understanding my limits and how much I can push the limits. Humility becomes harder to possess in age.

How do you know if you're yourself? The peace upon the person you are now.

Sometimes, the only person who limits you from becoming your best, is YOURSELF.


His unconditional LOVE
A constant reminder that He still loves me from different people in my life. His love that could wash away my brokenness and hurts. His love that accepts me for who I am, even when I'm in the deepest lowest pit. Even when I ran away, He kept looking for His lost child, waiting for the child to be come back. His patience to endure my nonsense. His love that carries me.. and help me to forgive. His love that made a difference once upon a time, and can still make a difference in my life and other ppl's lives too. His love that can be seen through others.

He chose to love me still.

What has been happening?

Heyz! So what's up so far?
I've been pretty busy and thus, the abandoned blog...
Well, I have been wrecking my mind to think of what to write as well.
Haven't quite reflected much... well, I think a lot more these days. I really should record it down. But when I have a pen and paper, I don't think I can write as much as I used to.

Ok, updates since I came back?

1. Christmas: Met up with friends in church & had family lunch with unc & aunt
2. 21st birthday, graduation & Christmas party
3. Joined the choir for church service during New Year's eve
4. FLARE (Youth worship team) gathering/lunch/bonding, FINALLY! (the last we had was 30th Dec '06)
   
5. Celebrated ex-CG member's birthday - GEORGE! (on new year!) Just a small group of us
6. Karaoke-d TWICE, jamming session in studio ONCE
7. A day hang out in KLANG with OCFers
8. Met up with a few friends... still planning to meet more
   

Yea, I think those were the main events.

I still haven't quite written down my New Year's Resolution or my summary of 2007, rite?
Will hopefully do that soon :)
Hopefully more pics too, eh?

Back + Busy

I know.. I know.. I haven't been posting for almost a month.
No worries.. I'll be posting something soon.. Once I actually have the time to SIT down and THINK of something to EXPRESS out.

Well, I have lots of pics. Maybe I'll just let the pics do the talking for my next few posts. It'll probably take a while as well...

The Birthday Song.mp3

The Birthday Song

Don't worry about that extra line That's creeping up upon your face It's just a part of nature's way To say you've grown a little more Trees have rings and thicker branches Kids shoes get a little tighter Every year we're getting closer to who we're gonna be It's time to celebrate the story of how you've come to be Happy birthday my friend Here's to all the years we've shared together All the fun we've had You're such a blessing Such a joy in my life May the good Lord bless you And may all your dreams come true So light a candle on your cake For every smile you've helped create For every heart and every soul You've known to grow a little more A few more pounds, a little more grey Don't count the years just count the way It takes a little time to go from water into wine Don't ever lose the wonder of the child within your eyes Happy birthday my friend Here's to all the years we've shared together All the fun we've had It's such a blessing Such a joy in my life May the good Lord bless you And may all your dreams come true by Corrinne May

This is my fav birthday song! So meaningful! Cheers to all the Dec babies! God bless! :)

One time part-time job

Today was interesting... I was asked whether I was free to 'wash dishes' in the afternoon after church, and I'll be given $50 for it. I was like.. O_o *blur* at first! LOL! Since my friend really needed someone to replace the other person, who was sick, I agreed to help. I was clueless.. just follow only ler. Besides, my only plan for the day was to do my weekend chores, before I leave to Melbourne.

We went to Adelaide Hills... I so forgot that I had travel sickness... >.< So on the way, kinda dizzy lor but good thing wasn't that bad the ride. I got to spend time with this girl in OCF. I've known her but we didn't really get a chance to really talk and really got to know each other until today. So, it was awesome la!

Then we went to this Christmas BBQ private function in a house in Adelaide Hills, organized by one of the director of the units in Flinders hospital. WOW! The place was breath-taking. Personal winery place, there was a lake nearby and mountains ahead.. Wow... That wasn't it.. the food they were preparing for the party was DeLiCioUs!!!! *yum* Cooked by M'sians! (not me la). My friend and I just cut food only, and help to serve ppl. After that our main job were to wash dishes :)

You know what, I didn't know Australians had a different way to wash dishes. I really didn't know that lor... Now I know why the sink is often filled with water in my house... Aussies conserve water one, so they fill the sink up with water and put dish detergen inside after that. Then, they soak the utensils and plates in the sink and use the water+soap from the sink to wash. They don't wash it under running water like we do. I do agree that the way we do it, would really waste heaps of water. On the other hand, I wasn't sure how clean the dishes would be even after we washed it O_o I don't know man!

Anyway.. it was really an interesting day! I am very very happy being able to be part of this. We got to talk to some Australian ppl working in the hospital. We got to try out great food! eg. BBQ Prawns *yum* and so many deserts. It was ssssoooo delicious and irresistible! *saliva come out of mouth as we stare at the desert* We got to eat them.. bwahhaah!!! XD

If only my handphone didn't die on me *sobz (T.T)* I can take pic! WAHahahaha!!!
Sigh, but it's alright :)

Well, we each received $50 as promised! They were very generous.. even when I broke a glass >.< Yes, my clumsiness... I'm sorry!!! (T.T) But they told me not to worry and didn't deduct anything from my pay. I was shocked. I thought I'll get scolded or something. Wow. Amazing people. Thank you for your mercy!!!

So yeah. Today was a fruitful day! Came back, can't rest yet.. had to do laundry and do my chores before I leave to Melbourne tomorrow.

Yes, going to Melb tomorrow!!! Yey! Get to see my bestfriend and ko! Can't wait!

What's Good for Me

I ain't no queen of hearts,
I go through stages..
I fall in love
then complicate it
yea, you know the feeling
without much hope
just blind ambition
pretending that there's nothing missing
i always kept believing

that more..
i thought if i had more
i wouldnt get so bored
but everything just left me empty
love walking in and out of my door
wasn't good enough no more
when i don't trust myself, life really sucks

and the first time i thought it but i didn't do it
last time that's when i really blew it
so this time im gonna do it different
cuz i know i know i know
if i put everything i have into it
eventually, i'm gonna get what's good for me

cuz i don't want to
live my life wonderin'
if only
i woulda
i shoulda
i coulda
but i didn't
cuz i only blame myself yeah again...

by Lucy Woodward

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Do what u think is best vs. His best?
Try so hard to be perfect vs. being the person He wants u to be, with flaws and weaknesses as He designed you to be?

Sometimes I wondered whether I stopped believing...
But if I did, I guess it was like what my mum told me
"girl, if u do not believe, u would not keep asking yourself what God wants and for His decision..u will decide for yourself"

Guess I'm just hanging on to that thin rope... still holding on as best as I can... If I let go, I'll fall.. but I am not letting go anytime soon!

Every Season

Every evening sky, an invitation
To trace the patterned stars
And early in July, a celebration
For freedom that is ours
And I notice You
In children’s games
In those who watch them from the shade
Every drop of sun is full of fun and wonder
You are summer

And even when the trees have just surrendered
To the harvest time
Forfeiting their leaves in late September
And sending us inside
Still I notice You when change begins
And I am braced for colder winds
I will offer thanks for what has been and was to come
You are autumn

And everything in time and under heaven
Finally falls asleep
Wrapped in blankets white, all creation
Shivers underneath
And still I notice you
When branches crack
And in my breath on frosted glass
Even now in death, You open doors for life to enter
You are winter

And everything that’s new has bravely surfaced
Teaching us to breathe
What was frozen through is newly purposed
Turning all things green
So it is with You
And how You make me new
With every season’s change
And so it will be
As You are re-creating me
Summer, autumn, winter, spring

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The seasons in my life this year... It has been a wild ride.
Different people sent during different seasons.
Different experiences I needed to go through.
Different lessons from those experiences and from what I've heard and seen.
Different life stories heard and to be told.
Different things to let go.
Different timings for different decisions.

The changes in seasons determine how strong you are in going thru each of it. Each season has it's purpose. Each season requires a decision to be made. When a new season comes, you have to let go of the old, so that you can live in the new.

Spare specs back!

Oh btw, remember I told you that I lost my specs?

Last mon, for my first exam, I wore my sunglasses in the exam hall. LOL!!!! The invigilators did not ask anything! woohoooo! But some people must have thought it was weird though. LOL! I got teased a lot in church, during lunch, at home and my friend's house when I wore sunglasses at home, in the building, in the dark and at night. Sorry la.. I have to la.. if not I can't concentrate on the person when I talk to him or her, since I can't exactly see the person's face/eyes when I speak.. well, when I put on my sunglasses, friends said it's hard to talk to me 'cuz of the sunglasses. LOL! Now.. that's why eye contact is important when having a conversation! hehe.

I got back my specs yesterday :) Thanks to my parents who passed it (spare specs) to a friend's friend (pilot) who flew to Adelaide for a couple of days. I was supposed to collect from him but had an upset stomach and had to prepare for today's exam, so couldn't go to the city to meet with him. Thanks to my big bro who helped me collect my specs from him :)

Well, thank you friends (Michele, Daniel & Melvin) who helped me find for my specs when I lost it. I have no idea where is it? At the side road, smashed on the road or left in grocery store? So weird. Like it evaporated into air and cannot be found again >.<

Thank you dear friends, Kah Wai & Nesta, who brought me and teman me to the specs shop. Tried some specs when they were around. The prices are scary though.. and they were branded!

Thank you to my dearest parents who found a way to somehow send my spare specs here. They are amazing! Sorry that I am so careless >.< I've learnt from my lesson - to keep things properly and carefully!!!

Thank you Captain (won't reveal the pilot's name)for the willingness to bring my specs here! It was quite dark the past few days... suddenly with the specs, everything looks brighter! and helps a lot for exam.. and don't have to buy new expensive specs :) Thank you for saving my eyesight.

Thanks to my big bro, Peter who recommended me a specs shop to go, which has discount.. unfortunately couldn't find the shop, but it's alright. Think would have spent big bucks if I did go and get new specs. Maybe there was a purpose not being able to find for the shop you recommended. LOL! Well, thanks for helping me collect my specs and passing it to me :) You rock!

Exams so far... *sobz*

Biological and learning Psyc was alright though I though I could have done better :( 60 MCQ questions... My friends finished within 45 mins, and they were wondering why did I take 1 and half mins in exam hall to finish. I kiasu mah ;P Choosing answers... recheck again and again... The stuff I really studied, didn't come out much and I forgot some... the other stuff I last minute studied, I think I remembered more and did better >.< Sigh... Well, at least I put more effort this sem to prepare for my exam. That I gotta give myself some credit.

Research Methods 2 today. I gotta say I am kinda happy that I actually understood the questions and what they wanted. I got to answer most of the questions in the interpretation of tables and data part. WOW! Thanks to my friends who thought me again and again! Thanks Michele and Daniel :) The sad part, I didn't have time to really concentrate on MCQs (20 quests - 20 marks) and short answers (10 marks). As a result of that, I have no idea whether I can really pass this course :( Yea.... I spent almost an hour for each of the last section, interpretation of SPSS datas and writing up the results and all.. in which, I didn't really get to finish either. I started from the last section and moved to the first section... MCQs have to use my memory and tembaking skills. My mind was sooooo tired, stressed and panicky. All I wanted to do is to get out of the exam hall. Super cannot tahan >.< Plus, I soooo needed to go to the toilet T.T Keep telling myself, "wait wait wait.. lil bit more.. during exam better not go.. not enough time..". Haihz...

Well 2 more papers. Wanna prepare well for these papers!

Next Mon - Cognition and Perception - 60MCQs, 6 prepared essays - 3 hrs
Next Tues - Introduction to Organisational Psyc - 2 essays - 1 hr

Can't want to get exams off my back... T.T Lil bit more Lizzieeeeeee.... and whoever else who are going thru exams as well..

"Aja Aja FIGHTING!!!!!"

Blinded with shades

I love my beautiful sunglasses though my parents scolded me for getting it the last time.
This time it'll safe me because this is the only pair of specs I have here in Aus. My spare specs was unfortunately sent back to M'sia and has not returned. My current specs.... dropped off when I was wearing my sunglass >.<

sigh... I know for the past few days, I've been thinking and day-dreaming of getting a new pair of specs when I go home to M'sia or try out contacts. Just didn't occur to me that I'll lose my specs NOW just before exams.

Reminded me of the time I first lost my specs when I was 12 years old.. just before the main middle school examination as well. The 2nd time I lost it was during Psychology camp. So this makes it the 3rd time losing my specs I guess >.<

Well, at least I've got my cool sunglasses ;)

Loving my sunglasses! I thank God I have them! XD Never regretted getting it!
Gonna ask for exemption from uni for wearing sunglasses in exam hall while doing the papers. or smtng!
Pray pray that can get la!

Diff language of encouragement

Ok.. since this is my blog.. I can write whatever I want rite?
Well, this goes to me.. and those who needs support and encouragement for exams or whatever you're facing k!


English: All the best! I can do it!
Malay: Selamat Berjaya! Saya Boleh!
Chinese: Jia Yao!
Japanese: Gambatte!
Korean: Aja aja, FIGHTING!

hehe I love the Korean one :) I learnt that from the Kdramas! They love to say that.
So now, say to yourself all these... I say to myself too when things are tough for me, especially recently.
Just some word of encouragement, to boost up my confidence within me... that I can go through this period and season.
Also to tell myself not to give up and be strong!!! 'Cuz I know I can!!!

Exam T.T HeLp!!!

Priorities for these 2 weeks: EXAM preparation.

FOCUS FOCUS FOCUS

Ok.. this is driving me nuts a lil.
I am more worried/anxious 'bout exam compared to last sem, GOOD.
Failing rate is higher, BAD.
No understanding of what I've learned from classes and lecture notes, BAD.
Earlier preparation (not much), GOOD.
Not being able to focus, BAD.
Supposed to be easier to prepare for these papers, GOOD.
Focus isn't there, BAD.
Can't digest any info, BAD.
My mind is more focused on goin off for holiday, watchin' more dramas & go back to M'sia, BAD.
All I wanna do is sleep, BAD.
No motivation what-so-ever to study, BAD.
Mind keeps wandering about, BAD.

Man... so many BADs than GOODs >.<>.< Don't have much time to pack either. So have to hurry!!!
I only have 2 weeks to pack.
1 week before I leave to Melb for hols, and another week when I come back here.. but I'll be busy visiting places with my family when they come to visit. At least, I've got my family to help to pack as well then.

6 more weeks, then BYE BYE Adelaide :)

Music => emotions

Why do people listen to music with a different language although they do not understand it?
Can we somehow understand what the song ?mean deep inside?
Or is it just the tunes in which stirs the person's emotions?

I love to hear Korean and Japanese songs, especially soundtracks from the series for some reason, although I don't understand a thing they are singing.

Well, maybe it's the tune of the song that speaks to my soul?
The desire to hear smtng different than what I've already know?

hhm... there's something about music... that evoke individual's emotions & memories... whether you understand what it's saying a not...

I can't wait...

I can't wait to finish up my exams.. and go to Melbourne..
I can't wait to see my best friend and big bro there..
I can't wait to go home... back to M'sia... where I belong...
I can't wait to see my dear friend back home, who has been there for me...
I can't wait to see my brother, and disturb him when I am bored...
I can't wait to spend time with my friends and family...
I can't wait to visit my church once again... in the new building...
I can't wait to see my own house... and be in my own room and bed...

I can't wait...
I can't wait...

I can't wait... to see the one's close to me again... the ones in M'sia or Aus (Perth, Melb/Adelaide)... when I visit... Wherever that is, when I decide where to stay...

I wish I can tell you more about the things in my heart... but sorry, I can't reveal them...

I just... can't... wait... any longer...
Can I? Should I?
How long will it be...?
How long must I wait...

Does it really matter? 'Cuz... at the end of the day, I still have to wait...
Seems that life is all about waiting...

Somethings I learnt today...

No one else can take responsibility of your own life.

No one else can control one's heart, thought, feelings and actions.

No one else is to be / can / should be blamed if one cannot control one's feelings or thoughts.

Missing Home

I can't believe I am away from my family for 10 months already. Guess what? I actually survived! XD

Well, I miss my family a lot! :( I was just thinking yesterday evening about my family, while helping my friend with his filming assignment.

Family... sigh... I haven't really spent much time with them especially when I turned 16? I've always been so busy with my own work, ministries and friends. Family was a less priority for me at that time because I've taken for granted of the fact that they are always there and around.. at home.

Now when I think back about my family.. mum, dad, lil bro, aunt and uncle, who visits once a year, I really miss their company.

• I miss sitting around the table, eating with them during dinner.
• I miss going out for breakfast - indian mamaks, chinese hawker stalls (dim sum, prawn mee...) or cafes.
• I miss going out for lunches with my dad - "CHAP FUN!!!" and remembered my dad ask me not to be greedy... piling all the diff dishes on my plate :)
  
• I miss the times we went out for movie together as a family, or stayed at home watching a movie together.
• Years back, we used to play; chess, checkers, carom, ping pong (not much). I'm more a boardgame kinda person.
  
• I miss the times we went grocery shopping together, though I find it a chore at that time.
• I miss learning from my mum, how to bake cookies for valentine's day/friendship day and for Chinese New Year (CNY).
• I miss helping dad to compile all the CNY cards and hang it on the wall. We use it as deco in the house.
• I miss putting up the Christmas tree with them. I haven't been around the past years to do it :(
• I miss helping dad with the Mensa Treasure Hunt papers, stapling them.
• I miss my aunt and uncle heaps when they come back!!! We play games, watch movies, chit-chat... hhmm I should write them a mail soon.
• I miss my bro!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I cannot disturb him when I'm here!!!! I cannot poke him when I want to!!!! I can't talk to him about stuff he isn't interested to here.
  
• I miss learning from my dad how to organize the photo album :)
  

My family... I find my parents to be a wise couple. I wished I listened to them when I was younger.. the advices they gave me to be firm, strong in character and not let others affect me so much. I wish I could be stronger in the way I deal with life thru of the way they brought me up and thru the way they have lived their lives. I truly respect and honour them. They are my role-models. I do want to be like them, in handling with people, ministries and family. I love them very very much.

When I come back... I want to...

• Cook a few dishes for you guys (my family)
  
• Learn to cook even more dishes and bake, so that I can bless others and my family with it
• Be around more often, especially during family time
• Go out for movies with you guys (any Marvel movies out soon?)
• Play boardgames!
• Help around with grocery shopping, shopping, marketing...
• Help bro with his assignment if needed
• Spend more time with aunt and uncle when they come
  
• Just sit at my parents feet at times (ok not literally), but to listen to the advices they give about life
• Help clean up the house! I know how to clean already!! XD
  

Sigh.. so much to do.. but so little time :(
I don't know how long I'll be back for... but I really am looking forward to go back home. Wish I can go home much much earlier. At the moment, there is some problems with the flight tix.


I love you guys a lot! Heaps of love, from your daughter, sister and niece.